MTGrace

My Spiky Little Baby

2012-02-12T11:47:00.012-06:00

When Surfer Pirate and I were first married, we let our love of animals get a little (okay, a LOT) out of control. At one point, we had 3 big dogs, 3 cats, a snake, several mice (we were breeding them for snake food, but our breeding pair got to just be pets), a tarantula, and this adorable little guy.

He's a Bearded Dragon. And he's my baby.

First of all, just the idea of owning a DRAGON is a cool enough thing. But how can you look at one of these little guys as a baby and NOT fall in love with them??

First, a collection of photos of him so you can see just how sweet my little baby is.

Aww! Sweepy widdle baby!

Hungry boy.
(As time passed, I learned that wood chips for bedding and lettuce for eating are not good things for bearded dragons.)

Daredevil Dragon

First Bath - Mmmmm... water...

Big Scary Dragon!
He loves to go outside and be in the sunshine. He will sometimes try to run, so he has to have a leash if he's going to be outside. Just like a little kid, when he wants to be outside playing, the last thing he wants to hear is "Time to go inside." This is him trying to be big and scary so I won't want to pick him up and take him in the house.

Most bearded dragons will brumate in the winter. I had read enough after I got him so I've been prepared for it to happen. Babies don't usually have a brumation period, but as they mature, wintertime means dragons hiding and sleeping - especially when they have regular access to a window so they can see what the weather is like outside.

My boy is very spoiled with his own spot in our big bay window.

Last winter, he slept for a week or two at a time off and on. But I suspected that this year he would probably do a full brumation. Yep. Sure enough, around November, he started sleeping and hiding. It took him a few weeks to get fully settled, but then he settled in under his little fake plant and went to sleep. Loud noises would cause him to open his eyes for a minute, but mostly when I checked on him, he was sound asleep.

This morning, I had a wonderful surprise! He was awake, standing on his basking rock (a flat rock in his tank where he can soak up the rays) spread out and soaking up the sun!

Our little grocery store doesn't carry much in the way of specialty produce. Mustard greens are one of the best kinds of greens for beardies to eat on a daily basis, but I can't buy them for him here. So I've been growing some in a big pot on my windowsill. The plant has gotten big and beautiful while he was sleeping. He also really likes apples. So I made him up a bowl of mustard greens, Braeburn apples, "Dragon Chow" (my dad's term for the food pellets made especially for beardies) and a little dusting of calcium for his bones.

He's now just happily hanging out in his tank, enjoying the sunshine. I need to clean his tank tomorrow. It's full of dust and kitty hair (Brave Bonny thinks his tank looks like the best place for a nap).

I'm just so happy my baby is awake again! I've missed him!

Hi Mom!

Stupid Criminal Saturday, February 4th Edition

2012-02-04T11:47:00.004-06:00

Man Allegedly Knifes Brother Over Fast-Food Brownie: Erik Cain Arrested

Article and picture found here.

I'm lovin' it! And I'm not sharin' it.

A Pennsylvania man was arrested on Wednesday night after he allegedly stabbed his brother several times over a McDonald's brownie, The Times-Tribune reported.

Cops said that Erik "Eggs" Cain and his brother Gene Cain got into an argument when Gene cut the treat in half. The share tactic was apparently enough to enrage Erik, because he picked up three steak knives and allegedly slashed and stabbed Gene in the left forearm, left shoulder and right wrist.

"[Gene] thought his brother was going to kill him," so he responded by throwing a television at Erik, police Sgt. Joseph Laguzzi wrote in a report obtained by the newspaper.

Erik fled, but was later collared and charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct.

But it wasn't Erik's first run-in with cops. At the time of the alleged stabbing incident, Erik had been out on bail after being charged with slashing his girlfriend last month, The Associated Press reported.

So obviously this guy has anger issues. He's on bail for "slashing his girlfriend" only a month ago, and now he's flipped out on his brother.

But I think the biggest question I have about this article is MCDONALDS HAS BROWNIES??? Why hasn't anyone told me this before???

Mmmmmm... brownies....

Another Year

2012-01-30T20:07:00.002-06:00

Happy Birthday to the best big sister a girl could ever have.

I think my way of dealing with your birthday this year was to ignore it. I've kept myself distracted with going through boxes of paperwork and working on my budget for the year. Busy work.

And it helped.

But I did have to hold back the tears as I made your birthday cake. And I had to hold them back again as I ate my piece of that cake.

This year was low key and I don't have anything especially poignant to say, but do know that I love you dearly. And I miss you more than I can ever express.

No more holding the tears back now.

Pirate Baby Photo Shoot

2012-01-28T12:42:00.021-06:00

Pirate Baby was having so much fun with his boat yesterday I had to grab the camera and just start clicking away.

This one is my favorite.

Where did the hat go?

There it is!

...oh wait, maybe this one is my favorite.

Ooh! Sword!

Tasty!

...or this one.

...what can I say? The kid is just so darn cute I can't pick a favorite picture.

Then Pirate Munchkin came home and put her hat on him.

Why do you do this to me?

Pirate Baby has an adorable new thing that he does. He leans his head against the people (and animals) he loves to express his affection. Last night, he spent probably 20 minutes snuggling with Brave Bonny, leaning his head against him* over and over while I would say "Awww... loves for kitty cat." I need to try to get video of it one of these days.

*Oh yeah. By the way, Brave Bonny turns out to be a boy. Let's just say it took him some time to... uh... develop.

Challenges and Opportunities

2012-01-26T08:53:00.002-06:00

This picture of my daughter is from her Christmas concert. My grandmother would be very proud of the lady-like way she's sitting. Grandma always sat like that.

My dad and his friends were having a discussion once about how if you look deep enough into someone's life, ANYONE can look like they live in a soap opera. They then proceeded to swap stories from their own lives, each trying to one-up each other with their personal life dramas. My dad sat quietly and listened (as he often does) and then eventually said "I have a nephew that used to be my niece."

He won.

Him telling me this story stunned me as well because I had apparently missed that important bit of family news. It seems one of my cousins had had a sex change since the last time I'd seen ~~her~~ him.

Up until 2007, my life was pretty even keeled on the surface. I was struggling with a pretty major issue, but it was the same consistent issue I'd been dealing with for 6 years. It was something I kept very private, so all people saw of me was this stable, strong woman. And I WAS that stable, strong woman for the most part. While my personal challenge was, honestly huge, it was just something I dealt with. I had learned how to be strong and to be a supportive source to those around me.

And then my life fell apart.

Since then, chaos has become a constant part of my life.

I have had repeatedly MASSIVE and varied issues that have occurred over and over. The vast majority of my friends that I talk to on a regular basis came into my life after 2007 and never knew me as that stable, even-keeled person with the calm life. They know the one who has dealt with the death of her sister and her step-father, the loss of now two babies, a traumatic birth experience with her son, major financial trials, major family health issues, and even the death of many beloved pets.

I only hope that I still manage to show that I am the stable, strong woman I used to be - even amid all the chaos.

I have had to accept that people do view my life as a soap opera. It drives me absolutely insane because I know what I have thought about people in my past who had chaotic lives. Most of them were drama queens who blew small things out of proportion. I really hope that I have managed to go the opposite direction - downplaying rather than over-dramatizing the major issues and showing that I can cope.

Because honestly, through it all, I still feel an immense amount of joy and the feeling that I have been greatly blessed.

I have a wonderful husband who loves me dearly and is an amazing father to our children. I have an incredible mother who is my best friend that I can talk to about literally everything. I have two beautiful children who overwhelm me with love and pride. I have great friends who cry with me and laugh with me. I live in a wonderful little community where I feel welcome and included. I have a beautiful old home full of great historical features and some interesting quirks.

And I have my faith.

That is the thing that has gotten me through all my trials with a smile on my face and strength in my heart.

I've never come right out and said on my blog before that I'm a Mormon. I have kept it out mostly out of a sense of anonymity, but I always hoped that I said enough that people wouldn't be surprised to hear me say that. My faith and my beliefs are my guiding force in my life. They are the reason I can even get out of bed on those days when the trials in my life overwhelm me.

Like I said, I live in a small community. My little town is in a state with a very low population of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the full name of our church. "Mormon" is a nickname based on our added scripture The Book of Mormon). What that means is that the majority of the people in my town are Lutheran or Catholic. My children and I are the only Mormons here (Surfer Pirate isn't a member). We drive an hour away to get to church on Sundays.

It's a challenge. But it's worth it.

Meanwhile, it's led to some difficult challenges for Pirate Munchkin. The vast majority of her friends all attend a religion-based activity on Wednesday nights. I have allowed her to attend with her friends a couple of times. I looked through the book for the lessons they teach there with an open mind. I wasn't surprised to discover that there are some differences between the teachings in their book and the things I believe. (We Mormons are admittedly different in what we believe.) Some people would say the differences are minor and I should let her go anyway because that's where her friends are. But to me, the few difference there are are pretty major, and I believe 7 is too young to have to try and sort through what's being taught on Wednesdays versus what she's learning at church and at home.

But that's really hard for her. She feels like she's missing out not doing the same things that her friends are.

Yesterday, the subject came up again. In the process of how things went, I was feeling very discouraged and like I was the Mean Mom in town.

As I usually do when I'm frustrated and need to vent, I called my very wise mom. She helped me come up with a Plan! Starting next week, on Wednesday afternoons, we're going to start having our own religion based activities. She will get to play fun games on our church website, we'll do crafts and we'll have lessons teaching her more about the beliefs I hold so dearly. The focus will be making learning about our faith a fun and enjoyable thing.

That way, she won't feel so bad about missing out on what her friends are doing, and in the process, she will learn more about the beliefs that have been such a strength in my life.

Now I just need a fun name for it. Any ideas?

...or not

2012-01-20T14:09:00.001-06:00

Guess Pirate Baby isn't going to be a big brother anytime soon.

:(

Ouch

2012-01-05T09:12:00.002-06:00

This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of my daughter.

You'll have to excuse me. This is going to be a long one.

Once upon a time, I was in a fairly unhappy marriage, trying desperately to get pregnant. After 7 years of infertility, we got a phone call that would change our lives (well, more specifically, MY life).

This beautiful little girl became mine when she was 18 months old. Her background had been very challenging and rather sad. She'd been in and out of several different homes while her birth parents tried to get their lives straightened out so they could get her back. Eventually, they had eliminated all their options and were about to lose their rights to her.

That's where we came in.

Shortly after this gorgeous child entered our lives, we found out her birth parents were expecting another child. Long story short, the day we finalized the adoption of Pirate Munchkin, we picked up her baby sister who was only supposed to be our foster child for 3 months. The birth mother had started a sort of rehabilitation program that was supposed to be really good.

She dropped out after a few weeks.

Unfortunately, in the time it took for her to enter and drop out of the program, the wonderful social worker who had Pirate Munchkin's case had too many cases on her desk. The care of our little foster baby was given to a different social worker.

Which started the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. (Not to mention my sweet daughter.)

The birth parents went back and forth between trying to make the right choices to making really bad choices. The little baby girl who was supposed to be with us for just a few months continued to grow and develop into a delightful baby. She stole my heart. As the parents did poorly, I couldn't imagine my life without BOTH of my sweet girls. The happiest moments of my life were listening to those precious little girls playing together. The social worker started implying that we should probably start thinking about adopting her as well.

Meanwhile, my marriage fell apart.

The social worker asked me what my plans were for the baby once the divorce was final. She seemed pleased that I planned on adopting her on my own.

Then just days before my divorce proceedings, she dropped the bomb on me. In two weeks, the birth parents would be getting the baby back. This was literally just weeks after she'd told me they were doing badly, and that I should plan on her being a part of my life forever.

This was all terribly, terribly wrong. If we'd had the previous social worker, this nightmare would have been over 6 months after she was placed with us. But for some reason, this social worker was NOT doing her job - doing what was best for the child. She chose to favor the parents who had a record of YEARS of unstable behavior. (I firmly believe the social worker will have some major things to answer for when she meets her Maker.)

So picture a 16 month old little girl. She'd joined our family when she was only 2 months old. I was the only mother she knew. She had regular visits with her birth mother, but only 4 hours a week. She was taken from the only home she knew, the only mother she knew, and her sister - who she adored. Worse yet, the birth parents and the social worker voted against my wishes and kept her in the same daycare she'd been in. So every single day when I went to pick up Pirate Munchkin, she would see me and reach for me (there was no way I could ignore her and not hold her). I would pick her up, hug her, tell her I loved her. And then I would have to put her down and leave with Pirate Munchkin while she screamed. It ripped my heart out every single day. Who KNOWS how horrible that was for HER!

The entire situation was heartbreaking. For her. For me. For Pirate Munchkin.

To this day, Pirate Munchkin has a large picture of the two of them, hanging on the wall in her room.

Years have passed. Eventually, both families left the daycare (horrible place). We had some contact back and forth. Birthday parties have been attended for each girl. Then contact was lost. We moved here. Life has gone on. But Pirate Munchkin and I often talk of her sister and how much we miss her.

Since Pirate Munchkin was a toddler, I've been teaching her periodically about addictions. I've taught her that when someone has an addiction, they are no longer in control of themselves. The addiction will take control of everything in their lives, even to the point that they can't take care of themselves or the people they love. Preparing her for one day when we would have the inevitable discussion about who her birth parents were and why she's with me and not them.

That time came last night.

It started so randomly. We were playing around like we always were. Joking with each other. She called me a weirdo. I said I was going to put her in a box and send her back where she came from. She said she WANTED to be put in a box and sent to Mexico. I said "but you're not from Mexico. You're from Montana." That led to a discussion about how she'd come from someone else's tummy, and she couldn't understand how she could have been born in a hospital that she was familiar with. Her birth was such a foreign concept to her. Before I knew it, we were right there. The time had come. She wanted to know who her birth parents were and why they had given her up.

I pulled her onto my lap and told her the story. I was as honest as I could be, while keeping it at a level a 7 year old can understand. I told her how much they had loved her, but that their addictions had made them make bad decisions. They had tried to do what they could to keep her, but the addictions won. I explained that her birth parents were the same people who were her sister's parents. I explained how they were getting their lives back on track when they got her little sister because they didn't want to lose another child.

We cried together.

We talked about how much we miss her sister and how that wasn't fair that she wasn't with us.

It was really hard. But it was time for us to talk about it.

What I didn't tell her is that I'm still really worried about her sister. I've found out some things about her birth parents choices lately that scare me. I didn't tell her that I am constantly worried sick about her and really wish I could know that she's okay. I didn't tell her that I recently found out that social worker who made a mess of our lives without appropriate reasons no longer works at that office. I didn't tell her that I would to anything to have her little sister back.

I didn't tell her that my heart is broken.

Pirate Baby's 1st Birthday!

2012-01-03T21:26:00.010-06:00

I figured it was about time I got Pirate Baby's birthday pictures posted. Here he is checking out the awesome pirate ship my mom got him as a combined Christmas/Birthday present. (Don't mind the mess behind him. I was working on a sewing project.)

He likes to eat his sword that came with it.

The birthday cupcake was obviously a hit.

Major Stede is hoping for cupcake droppings.

Check out my great frosting beard, Mom!

As fast as he was eating the cupcake, I decided I'd better switch to video mode before the whole thing was gone! Here you get the privilege of hearing the voices of all our family members. Enjoy!

Oh, and for the record, he DID eat the entire cupcake!

Challenge Accepted!

2012-01-03T12:50:00.006-06:00

Aunt Becky wrote a meme, and of course, I have to respond!

1) What does Meme mean?

It's the sound Beaker makes, of course!

2) 2011 – Was it all you’d hoped it would be?

Sort of? I had lots of time with my cute little man - watching him learn and grow. But I had hoped to be a little more financially stable by now.

3) Did you watch the Royal Wedding?

I set my DVR and watched it later in the day so I could fast forward through the boring parts.

4) Where are your pants?

Wearing my favorite gray pants right now. They're soft and almost as comfy as jammies.

5) Is Justin Bieber human or some sort of robot?

Definitely a robot.

6) If you had only one thing to wish for this coming year, what would it be?

To have my house paid off.

7) Would you call yourself a “social media maven?”

BAHaha! That's funny. While I do know my way around some social medias, I'm not a maven of anything.

8 ) If you had to take three things to a desert island (let’s assume you have ample food and water), what would they be?

My husband (yay for alone time on the beach with my man!!)
Books
My pirate flag - so I can make friends with passing pirates.

9) If you had the ability to banish certain offenses to an island where they would be rehabilitated into being okay again, what would those offenses be?

Anything relating to Twilight
Anyone who uses Facebook like it's Twitter. I really don't need to know what you're doing every 5 minutes.
People who are famous for being talented when they actually suck (I'm looking at YOU, John Mayer!)

10) How do YOU think the air conditioner works?

Little trolls constantly fighting cause a breeze.

11) Do you ACTUALLY think you can make money blogging?

That's funny.

12) There’s a lot of talk in the blog world about microblogging (The Tumblr, The Twitter, The Facebook) taking over traditional blogs. Do you think that’s the case?

I doubt it. There will always be people who want to do that kind, but I know I'm not the only one who prefers to have my own thoughts in my own space.

13) If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Don't sacrifice fun out of paranoia. It IS okay to play a little. Go have some fun.

14) If you could’ve told yourself this time last year one thing, what would it be?

That thing you're really worried about? It's going to get better this year!

15) If you could have one Super Power, what would it be?

Flying. Definitely flying.

16) If you could do one thing you can’t currently do, and do it well, what would it be?

Playing the piano. I wish things had gone better all those years I took lessons. I would like to still be able to play.

17) What surprises you about yourself?

I'm still surprised by how strong I am. Just when I think I can't go on dealing with a problem, I find the strength to keep going.

18) What was your favorite blog post/tweet of the past year?

Of mine? Hmmm.. There were a lot of them that I enjoyed writing (and rereading later). So I'll just pick one semi-randomly. This one because it brought up some interesting discussions.

19) Do you REALLY think “Purple Should Be A Flavor?”

It is!! I have tasted purple. There used to be an ice cream we loved in our family that was a vanilla ice cream with some sort of berry swirl. Our friend referred to it as "Purples and Cream". It was really yummy & I wish it was still around.

20) If you could make one outlandish wish for 2012, what would it be?

To have all my bills paid off, my garage and greenhouse built, my garden planted and growing, and a 1967 GTO in the garage to work on and make all pretty.

Is It Tomorrow Yet?

2012-01-02T13:34:00.003-06:00

I was going to post a funny Lolcat picture, but it wasn't working. So enjoy this picture of the ever yummy Tony Gonzalez instead.

School starts back up tomorrow. Let me tell you, it can't come soon enough!

Pirate Munchkin got a Nintendo DS for Christmas, but I don't want her doing nothing but staring at a computer screen all day, so she's got a time limit on it. I also limit her TV watching for the same reason. The plan is in the afternoons, she is supposed to be reading or playing with the MANY toys, games, puzzles, etc in her room.

She's got plenty of options to choose from, but it seems like a big chunk of her day is spent asking me the same question over and over, and pointing out the obvious (over and over).

It gives me a big headache.

Add to it, the fact that I'm also pregnant. I hadn't planned on making a big announcement this early, but I just can't seem to avoid the subject lately. (If you're friends with me on facebook, please don't say anything on there. I'm not ready for THAT many people to know yet. I'm not going to be linking to this entry over there.)

When I am pregnant, I become super-testy and impatient. Especially with things like people who talk a lot, having to repeat myself, and people who point out the obvious all the time.

Which unfortunately for my daughter, means I'm annoyed with her a good part of the time.

I'm trying to be better about it this time. When I was pregnant with Pirate Baby, I was flat out mean to Pirate Munchkin. I was really stressed getting ready for our big move, plus Surfer Pirate was gone for a full month of that time, and I was pretty sick. I feel horrible about it, and I don't want her memories of this pregnancy to be like the last one. So I'm doing my best to keep my temper in check, letting her know when I need quiet or space, and just forcing myself to remember she's only 7. She's not trying to irritate me, she just wants love and attention.

The 12 days that she's been home for Christmas break have been a challenge. At least when she's at school, I have lots of quiet time (well, as quiet as it can be with a very "talkative" 1 year old) to rest up and prepare for the chatter that is to come. But when she's home all day, I can rarely escape it.

So I'm ready for school to start back up again. I need a break.

Stupid Criminal for the New Year

2012-01-01T15:07:00.004-06:00

Not the actual bill used in the story. Picture found here.

What better way to start out the new year than with a new Stupid Criminal story?

Cops: Man tried to use $1,000,000 bill at Walmart

LEXINGTON, N.C. - Do you have change for a million-dollar bill?

Police say a North Carolina man insisted his million-dollar note was real when he was buying $476 worth of items at a Walmart.

Investigators told the Winston-Salem Journal that 53-year-old Michael Fuller tried to buy a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items. Store employees called police after his insistence that the bill was legit, and Fuller was arrested.

The largest bill in circulation is $100. The government stopped making bills of up to $10,000 in 1969.

Fuller was charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument. He is in jail on a $17,500 bond, and it isn't clear if he has an attorney. He is scheduled to be in court Tuesday.

Story found here.

I just love that this guy thought he could get away with this. Is he even aware of how much a million dollars is? Did he really think a Walmart store would have change for a million dollar bill? And why stop at only $476 worth of merchandise? I could have bought a LOT more stuff if I was trying to pass off that kind of money. At least buy a better vacuum, or something!

Because It's That Time of Year Again...

2011-12-30T09:40:00.003-06:00

I did it last year, and I feel the OCD need to do it again this year:

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Breastfed my son in the hallway of the high school because he wouldn't stop screaming through his sister's school concert. I was totally covered, but it was still really awkward. There were also a few 6th grade girls who were stunned by what I was doing and couldn't stop staring.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't do resolutions. I try to make a regular attempt to improve my life, but I don't do it on a year-to-year scheduled basis. (I still like last year's answer to this one.)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Many. I seem to be at a time in my life where everyone around me is having babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My dad (well technically, he's my step-dad) passed away right after my birthday last year. It was really hard, and I miss him all the time.

5. What countries did you visit?
None yet, although one of these days, I'll get my passport and visit the exciting country of Canada, eh.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

My memory back. Baby Brain is a real thing, people!

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
See #6. I have no memory.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Maintaining sanity through MOST of the year.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I still don't have my bookshelves done, but the plan is to get those done by the spring.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just to my pridde.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
DiGiorno Pizza. Lots and lots of DiGiorno pizza.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Surfer Pirate. I am super, super proud of the things he's accomplished this year. The man continues to be my hero.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Every politician ever, probably.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills, bills... and DiGiorno Pizza.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Days when I didn't have to cook!

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
Yeah, um. This question is just dumb. Although I will admit there was a song that fit last year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?
Happier. I have such a fun family, and I love my life here in this little town.

iii. Thinner or fatter?

Sadly fatter. Let's just say I took the pediatrician's advice "Nursing Mother's shouldn't try to lose too much weight" a LITTLE too much to heart.

v. Richer or poorer?

Tacky question.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Getting all my big projects done. There are still no new bookshelves, storage shelves, pantry shelves built in my house, and I still haven't finished the wedding gift I started working on last spring. Oops!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

.....um..... eating pizza?

20. How did you spend Christmas?

(Edited because the original question was to be answered before Christmas.) We were home!!! Just our little family, nice and quiet, just the way I like it.

21. How many one-night stands?

I hate this question. Did this meme originally come from Myspace?

22. What was your favorite TV program

That changes constantly, but the top runners are Big Bang Theory, Robot Chicken and World's Dumbest. I'm also working my way through the seasons of King of Queens.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Another stupid question. I don't hate people.

24. What was the best book you read?

Does it count if I'm not quite done reading it yet? I'm rereading Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. I love that book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Probably Shine Down. I swear the lead singer of that group and my husband are kindred souls. Almost all his songs match with Surfer Pirate's life.

26. What did you want and get?
Snow! Finally! We've been seriously lacking snow this year, and we finally got dumped on last night.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
No clue.

28. What did you do on your birthday?
That was a really hard day this past year. There was supper at a nice restaurant, but other than that, the day kind of sucked.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Yay! My gray pants fit! I'm so glad I didn't get rid of them!

30. What kept you sane?

I have two main things that keep me sane - peace and quiet and time with Surfer Pirate. As long as I get those two things on a regular basis, I'm good. (Same answer as last year because it's still true.) Although snuggling with my kids is a good sanity saver as well.

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Chelsea Handler. She never fails to make me laugh. And Beavis and Butthead!! THEY'RE BACK!!

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Politics - Blech

33. Who did you miss?

Same as last year. Always my sister. It kills me how much I miss her.

34. Who was the best new person you met?

My new BFF and sister!

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
How to make a really good cherry limeade.

So there ya go. 2011 in a nutshell. Bring on 2012! I'm ready!

The Ol' Fallback

2011-12-28T12:45:00.003-06:00

Since my sister passed away, I've sort of adopted a few sisters. They're my sisters because I love them and we all watch out for each other. They're also my sisters because their families are insane and my mom is the greatest mom on the planet - so everyone wants to be her daughter. My "sisters" are B, J and my newest one AB!!

Anyway, I was talking to J last night asking her for suggestions for my blog. I've been having some pretty major writer's block lately and needed ideas for fun things to talk about.

Then this morning, I was reading my (real) sister's blog and was inspired by a meme she did back in May of 2005. Since I love meme's, I figured this would be a good way to get back on the blogging horse. Here it is:

FINISH THE SENTENCES...

1) My uncle once: got his foot stepped on by a bear when he was camping.
2) Never in my life: have I smoked a cigarette. Although strangely enough I craved them in college when I was stressed.
3) When I was five: I met my "sister" B! (Love you!!)
4) High School was: crazy and fun and entertaining, and I'm sure glad I don't have to do it again.
5) I will never forget: "Gimmie a 'poon right now please! NICELY!" (family joke)
6) I once met: Chad Brock - former professional wrestler, turned country singer, turned disc jockey, turned potential politician. My ex and I saw him in concert in a small club in Salt Lake City. He spent a good part of the night checking me out - much to my ex's annoyance.
7) There's this girl I know who: has been married 3 times, engaged to at least 3 other guys (that she didn't marry), had 4 kids (that I know of) with 3 different guys (only 1 that was actually her husband), all before she was 35 years old. And she once tried to strike up a conversation with Surfer Pirate in order to talk to me. I ignored her because I don't want to get sucked into her weird life again.
8) Once, at a bar: I found out how small the world really is when I got to hear about the Karma Bus coming after a guy who was my bully in the 8th grade.
9) By noon I'm usually: starting to wake up - even though I've been out of bed for hours. Oddly, I used to be a morning person!
10) Last night: I talked to my "sister" J! (Love you too!)
11)If I only had: a bathroom on the main floor of my house. Oh, and a garage... and a wood shop... and a greenhouse.
12)Next time I go to church: I hope the roads will be clear (it's a long drive)
13)Amy Winehouse*: isn't talented enough to be in the 27 Club.
15)When I turn my head left, I see: my daughter reading a book and using the dog as a footstool.
16)When I turn my head right, I see: Christmas stockings.
17)You know I'm lying when: I blush and look away. I hate lying.
18)Right now I'd rather be**: taking a bath. Or a nap.
19)If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Much more eloquent that I am now. (I like my sister's answer. I'm keeping that one.)
20)By this time next year: I'll be very busy.
21)A better name for me would be: QUEEN
22)I have a hard time understanding: why they had to mess with Geometry by adding Algebra to it. Geometry was the only math in high school that I could really understand!
23)If I ever go back to school I'll: focus entirely on classes I want to take instead of getting stuck in classes I feel like I have to take.
24)You know I like you if: I blather on to you about my whole life. I talk too much.
25)If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: God. Unless I win a Grammy. Then in all likelihood I'll thank my Dad first. (Also keeping my sister's answer here.)
26)Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Would be fun to have dinner with. (Gotta keep this one of hers as well.)
27)Take my advice, never: marry a guy with commitment issues.
28)My ideal breakfast is: Stella's Surprise at Stella's Restaurant in Billings, MT. (Minus the onions.)
29)A song I love, but do not have is: Erotic City - the George Clinton version. Verizon doesn't have it in their song list. :( I want it on my phone.
30)If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you go to Softies for yummy ice cream. Get a toasted coconut dipped cone for me, k?
31)Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: would make for a very weird salad.
32)Why won't anyone: design a pretty digital watch? I might still wear a watch if I could find one.
33)If you spend the night at my house: don't mess with the ghosts, and they won't bother you at all.
35)The world could do without: most of the politicians
36)I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat meatloaf.
37)My favorite blonde is: a toss-up between my husband and my son.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: rocks.
39) If I do anything well, it's: make steak! I used to not be able to make a steak to save my life, but I've recently mastered it.
40) And by the way: Listening to Erotic City right now. Thank you Youtube!

* Originally, that question was about Terri Schiavo - showing how old that meme is. Since it's not really current news, I figured I'd go with a memorable death from this year.

**There wasn't a question 18, so I made one up.

Smelly

2011-12-13T08:18:00.002-06:00

My waffle iron died a while back. It made me extra sad because it made heart-shaped waffles! They were fun and cute and made me smile. On Valentines Day, I liked to throw some strawberry flavoring and red food coloring in to make them extra special.

But when your waffle iron starts shooting flames out the back of it, it's time to throw it away (once it's no longer on fire, of course).

Money is tight around here, and a new waffle iron was just not in the budget. I had borrowed one (and kept it WAY too long! Oops!) but as often as we all like to have waffles around here, we really needed our own.

Then, I noticed that one of our local stores was changing out their small appliances, and their previous display model was on clearance. I mentioned it to Surfer Pirate, and I guess that idea stuck in his head because a couple weeks ago he declared "We need waffles! I'm going to go find out how much that display one is." He got a killer $10 deal, and brought it home.

We've been back in Waffle Heaven around here.

So Sunday morning, I made waffles. I made a big double batch of waffle batter, but I was too hungry to make the whole batch all at once. I made enough for everyone to each have some, and then I sat down to eat.

For the record, if you've never had peanut butter and maple syrup on a waffle, you need to try it. It's all kinds of awesome.

I finished my yummy waffle and went into the kitchen to rinse off my plate. There, I was hit by the most offensive smell! It was like messy diapers, moldy bread and rotten cream sauce all at the same time!

Gah! What is that???

Figuring there must have been something bad in the garbage, I took the garbage out.

There. That'll do it.

Too lazy to make more waffles right then, I took the measuring cup I'd been using as a scoop for the waffle mix and set it on a plate where it wouldn't get my counter dirty, until I could start dishes later. I covered the waffle mix and put it in the fridge. Then I went into the living room to join my family in watching some TV.

I returned to the kitchen later, and was met AGAIN by the horrid smell!!

Gah!! What IS that???

I started looking all around, trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. Nothing seemed amiss.

Back to the living room I went.

Again later, HORRIBLE SMELL slapped me in the face as soon as I walked in the kitchen!

GAH!!! What the h*ll is that????

Could it possibly be the scooper from the waffles??? There was a bread smell in the nastiness. I bent down to sniff it. Slight bread smell, maybe, but was there a rotten smell? Not sure. I ran it under hot water to clean it off and then went to the fridge to make sure nothing terrible had happened to my bowl of waffle mix and I just hadn't noticed (can't destroy my dreams of waffle goodness for later!) Nope. That's fine.

Huh. I don't get it. Another search of the kitchen came up with nothing odd.

By yesterday afternoon, either the smell had gone away, or my nose was just so offended by the nasty smell not going away that it decided to ignore it. Either way, I didn't notice the smell anymore.

So last night, Surfer Pirate requested baked potatoes with supper. I'm all for some tasty baked potatoes!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm..... buttery potato goodness....

I opened up the bag of potatoes on the counter and started selecting the best ones.

And then it hit me!

Nasty icky smelly disgusting knock you down the stairs and beat you senseless smelly smell!!

One mean little nasty rotten potato was hiding down in the bottom corner of the bag.

I threw out its offensive little self and scrubbed the heck out of all the other potatoes.

My kitchen is safe for noses once again!!

Go me!

2011-12-08T21:30:00.003-06:00

These two are such buddies they even sleep alike.

For 7 painful years, I worked retail. Back then, I always swore I would be done with my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. And I pretty much succeeded with that goal back then. But there is life after retail. Eventually, the madness didn't bother me anymore. I still don't shop Black Friday, but I don't worry too much about being done that early.

In fact, quite often, I do my "Santa shopping" a week or so before Christmas. Usually, the gifts will be purchased in an okay time frame, but I don't buy the stocking stuffers until the last minute. But today, not only did I get the Santa gifts, but I also got the stocking stuffers! The only thing missing is the oranges and nuts that go in there, but I'll get those later - so they're fresh.

Meanwhile, I'm still working on my dad's coat. Thankfully, he hasn't been booked up too much this year, so he doesn't need it right away. I should be able to finish it this weekend so I can get it mailed to him. I'm also in process with my bookshelf project. As I was sorting through the piles and piles of boxes of books in my basement, I came across my mom's and my old record albums. I was telling her about it, and we discussed getting a turntable that hooks into a USB port so I could start saving digital copies of all those records. She jumped right on that idea and bought one and had it sent to my house. It arrived today. So now I have that project to add to my list. Some of my other projects for when I have free time (Ha!) are as follows:

Previously mentioned dog coat

Pirate quilt I started 3 years ago

Wedding gift for my friend who got married last March. I'm hoping to get that done by at least their first wedding anniversary

Scan in the huge box worth of old pictures I have on loan from my dad

Shelf in Pirate Munchkin's room for her dolls

High shelf in Pirate Baby's room to run track for my mom's old model train

Rebuild the pantry shelves in my basement

Sort through all the boxes of random schtuff in my basement

Build storage shelves for all the schtuff I decide to keep

Build storage cabinets and bench in my mudroom

Curtains in almost every room in my house

Sew lots of fun new (vintage style) clothes for me

Whew. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Germans and Gingerbread

2011-12-02T20:47:00.004-06:00

This gorgeous gingerbread house is not the one I made. I found it here.

I was telling my mom this story tonight, and she suggested that I blog about it. So here you go.

Christmas of 2000 found me living in Utah. My oldest step-son had just come to live with us (14 at the time), and I had a very sweet and smart 2 and 1/2 year old German Shepherd.

I had decided I wanted to build a gingerbread house from scratch. I put a lot of time and effort into measuring and preparing to make sure it was just perfect. It baked perfectly - not a single crack. As soon as it was cool, I started assembling.

Once the frosting holding all the walls and roof together were set up, I started the fun part - decorating it. I had already chosen Andes mints for the roof. I loved the idea of the striped brown/green/brown look for the roof "shingles". I spent probably an hour getting all the mints on the roof. It looked gorgeous! I had to start getting ready for work, so I set the house in the middle of my dining room table with plans to finish decorating when I got home that night.

I was just getting out of the shower when I heard "Zeus* NO!" My heart dropped. I hurried out of the bathroom to find the gingerbread house in pieces on the floor with frosting everywhere. While I had been in the shower, my step-son had gone downstairs for something. The dog had taken his chance to go after the gingerbread house. I was horrified at all my work being destroyed, but not nearly as horrified as I was when I realized that half the roof as gone - including all that chocolate!

I was quite thankful that the other half of the roof was intact, and I quickly counted the remaining mints to see how much he had eaten.

THIRTY Andes Mints!

I called the vet, panic in my voice, while I said to the receptionist "I have a problem." She had already started chuckling a little as she said "Let me guess. Your dog ate chocolate."

The calm and humor in her voice put me a little at ease. It may not be as bad as I had thought.

What kind of dog is it?
German Shepherd

What does he weigh?
90 pounds

What did he eat?
30 Andes Mints

...I thought she was going to die laughing. She laughed so hard! I felt soooooooo much better.

So then she told me I needed to get some ipecac and hydrogen peroxide. I was supposed to take the biggest serving spoon I had and force a spoonful each of peroxide and ipecac down his throat. If he hadn't thrown up in 10 minutes, I was supposed to do it again!

So I hurried to the pharmacy and bought ipecac (I already had the peroxide), then I came home and gave my baby his medicine. I finished getting ready for work, and after 10 minutes, nothing had happened, so I dosed him again as instructed. I told my step-son to call me at work when Zeus had thrown up, and I left for work.
After a couple hours, I still hadn't heard anything, so I called the house.

Has he thrown up yet?
Nope. He just keeps belching!

That crazy Zeus never did throw up, just had the burps all day long. It's my own fault. He was my spoiled baby, and since he was little, I had always given him gingerbread cookies whenever I made them. He was also EXTREMELY smart, which came in handy when it came to training him, but not so handy when he wanted to do something he wasn't supposed to do. (The process of keeping him locked in his kennel when we were away from the house was insane because of his super intelligence. He was a Houdini Dog - and could get out of anything!)

I still gave him gingerbread cookies every year, but I haven't attempted making a gingerbread house since.

*His real name wasn't Zeus.

Today...

2011-11-26T11:44:00.003-06:00

Today, I learned that burnt coffee smells a lot like burnt hot dogs.

Today, I was reminded that a breastfed baby with a cold means boogers in places that you don't want to know about.

Today, I found a used band-aid on a string, inside my old diaper bag.

Today, I enjoyed momentary peace and quiet while everyone else was either asleep or out of the house.

Today, I cried over people who weren't with us this year for the holidays.

Today, I bought two gifts and spent a whopping 38 cents thanks to Swagbucks!

Today, I got an early present from my cute hubby - a TON of tools for the house in their own carrying case!!

Today, I listened to my daughter make up weird songs in her boredom.

Today, I finally caught up with all my blogs I read. Really - all of them!

Today, I put my wedding ring back on my finger after having to wear it on a chain since Wednesday. (I got into something, and have had some kind of chemical burn that itched when my ring touched it.)

Today, I laughed while the boogery baby sneezed on Surfer Pirate.

Today, I managed a blog post! Yay me!!

And the Funk Continues...

2011-11-22T09:58:00.006-06:00

First, you have to admire how adorable Pirate Baby is in his pirate jammies! The big update here is that he's growing! When these first arrived from Grandma a couple months ago, they were HUGE compared to him and I was starting to feel like he would never fit in them. But they are on, and they fit! He's 11 months old today (which reminds me, I have to take 11 month pictures today), and is just getting into a size 9 month clothes, but at least we're finally showing progress! He's starting to plump up again too, thank goodness.

I also included this picture to show my blog readers who don't know me IRL that I really DO have a pirate obsession. It isn't just a thing I do on my blog. There are little pirate details in a lot of parts of my life. My mom recently even bought me a pirate purse! I'm having so much fun carting that around now. Plus, for Pirate Baby's combination birthday/Christmas gift from her, he's getting a rocking pirate ship! (Think rocking horse, only this is a little wooden pirate ship with rockers under it.) I'll take pictures of it once it's here and assembled.

Life has continued to be a little crazy. Late last winter when we'd had so many hard things happening, I'd gotten on my knees and told the Lord that I couldn't take anymore. I was at my absolute limit, and I needed a break from stress in my life. He lovingly gave me many, many months of peace and relative calm. Then, a few months ago, I started noticing everyone around me was having difficult things happen to them all at once. It was like He was saying to me, "Okay, you've had some time, let's see how you deal with these issues. Then we'll get back to the crazy things that need to happen in your family!" (Not to downplay the difficulties of my family and friends' issues lately. They certainly were NOT about me!) Anyway, just as we were getting Pirate Baby's growth issues handled, Surfer Pirate's health issues took a forefront in our lives again.

He's okay. Let's start with that.

We've got some answers to something we've wondered about for several years now, and the good thing is now we know how to treat it.

He's got another health issue that also needs to be dealt with, but that's still in the "what do we do about this?" stage at the moment. It will also be handled and be okay. It's just been a little stressful.

That's why I've been so quiet.

Meanwhile, life continues as usual in our pirate household.

Pirate Munchkin continues to do beautifully in school and reads as many books as she can get her hands on. She's also showing even more signs of being my sister's little Mini Me. This child is obsessed with game shows! When she gets a chance to pick whatever she wants to watch, I'm only subjected to kid shows about half the time now. (Seriously? Who writes that drivel?? Even the adults over-act on those shows!) When she's not watching Nick or the Disney Channel, she's got Game Show Network on! It's been pretty fun to watch some of the OLD shows on there. Family Feud from the very beginning, those old panel-type games that always had all the celebrities on them in the 60's and 70's, and some of the ones I remember watching back in the 80's when we only had two (and then three) channels in our home town. She and I play along and enjoy it when we would have won prizes if we'd been on the show.

Snow has returned to Northern Middle of Nowhere North Dakota. Which means the farming season is done again, and we have our husband/father back! He had asked for an X-Box for his birthday/Christmas gift to help him get through the long winter. I asked for a new cordless drill so I can get started on all the building projects I want to do around our house. He has a really hard time waiting to give me gifts, so he'd already declared he was going to be giving me my drill early this year, and wouldn't it be nice if he could have his gift early too? (Not even slightly subtle! LOL) My drill was supposed to be here yesterday, so I'd already planned on him getting to open his present then. The drill was delayed a couple weeks - it's supposed to arrive on his birthday. I didn't think it was fair for me to get my gift early when he wouldn't get his until his birthday, so I let him go ahead and open it last night. He spent most of the evening playing and figuring out all the ins and outs of this new video game system. (I'm excited that I should be able to use it to watch live-streaming Netflix movies!)

And now, as previously promised, Halloween costume pictures!

The finished Indian Princess costume!

She was THRILLED with how it turned out, and thankfully, it wasn't too cold this year, so she didn't have to wear a coat over it.

A close-up of the jewels.

It's interesting to me how much she looks like my cousin Wendy in this picture.

I do not know how the women manage to get those necklace things that hang over the forehead to stay in place! I tried using bobby pins in her hair to hold down the chain, but it still moved around a lot. Maybe they use the same kind of glue they use on the bindi (the face jewels).

Pirate Baby still fit into his snow suit that was too big on him last winter (he's since outgrown it!), so he was a teddy bear this year. Although we kept joking he was Big Scary Bear - GRRR!

I do have a better picture of him in it, but he's sitting on Surfer Pirate's lap, and I don't feel like editing pictures right now, so this is the best you get today.

Alright. I have to get back to work. My dad is part of a Victorian Christmas Caroling group, and I've promised him a new coat for his costume. I'm using this pattern, and I'm making it from a light brown/tan sort of suit fabric. I think it's going to be very nice. I made a GORGEOUS vest for him a couple years ago for a different music thing, and he wears it for the Victorian stuff now. I'll have to post a picture of it on here one of these days because I'm really proud of how it turned out. It's probably my 2nd favorite piece of clothing I've ever made (the 1st being a Southern Belle gown - complete with hoop skirt) The vest was from that same pattern, but we altered it. He wanted the collar to come down lower and we made it double-breasted. It's beautiful, and I'm super proud of it.

So off to the sewing machine! When I finish his coat, I have to make a coat for Miss Dampier. Her short fir is NOT good for our winters. I never thought I would be one of those people who would put clothing on my dogs, but I can't let her freeze. After that I get to start on my new clothes! First up? Navy pinstriped pants from this pattern!

STILL Missing in Action

2011-10-17T14:02:00.003-05:00

It's been a pretty tough time at our house.

All 4 cute little baby teeth are in, and the cold is gone, but all is still not well with Pirate Baby.

He hasn't grown since he was 6 months old. For a while, he just didn't gain weight. But then he started losing it. The nurse practitioner we see here in town thought he might have a really serious disease and did some testing. Thankfully, the tests came out negative, but we still didn't have answers. We were referred to a pediatrician 2 hours away, and went to see her on Thursday.

Thankfully, the answer is pretty simple.

Pirate Baby is a breast-fed baby, and it looks like I'm just not producing enough milk. We figured out a plan of attack, and hopefully we'll see him start plumping up again very soon.

The best part about this doctor is she suggested herbal supplements instead of prescriptions. This is a doctor after my own heart!

The long and short of it is I have been very stressed and worried about Pirate Baby for more than two months now. It's exhausting! Because of it, I haven't felt like being very chatty - here on my blog or in real life. I'm hoping to be back to myself soon. I have a couple of fun ideas for entries, but I just haven't been able to get the enthusiasm to write them.

A few things that I should mention:

1. Today is Pirate Surfer's and my 3rd Wedding Anniversary! No exciting concerts this year. We're just going to have a quiet night at home as a family. After this last harvest season, the idea of all of us home for a meal and a movie together sounds like complete luxury!

2. Aside from the issue of his growth, Pirate Baby has been progressing beautifully with his physical developments. He's right on track for a baby his age (not even counting in that he was a preemie!) He's a very fast crawler. Surfer Pirate was stunned to discover how fast he is! One night after Pirate Baby managed to crawl into the dining room before Surfer Pirate noticed, he joked that we could put him at the end of our driveway, and by the next morning he would be in Montana! He can also pull himself up to standing, wave bye-bye, walk with assistance, and he REALLY wants to climb on things (although thankfully, he hasn't figured that one out yet!)

3. Pirate Munchkin and my mom and I have all had a great time figuring out her Halloween costume. We got a catalog from this company in the mail several months ago and have been drooling over their beautiful costumes. I really fell in love with this one because Pirate Munchkin comes from Aztec ancestors. But her favorite was this Indian Princess costume. It's a gorgeous costume, but much too expensive. So I've been looking at how to make one for her. I told my mom about my search, and in true Grandma-loves-to-spoil-her-grandkids fashion, she bought all the fabric and supplies I needed to make one. It's almost finished! I still need to sew the hem on her pants and do some embellishments on the neckline and it will be complete! Pirate Munchkin was very excited to get up this morning and see it was almost done. I can't wait for her to try it all on. I'll try to post pictures here, although it may not be until Halloween when she's got her hair done and all the jewelry (including gems on her forehead!)

4. I'm in process of changing over my "look". I've always leaned towards a more classic look rather than following trends, but I've decided that I'm not happy with anything I'm finding in stores right now. Instead, I'm going to go back to the Old Hollywood kind of look. The styles from the 40's, 50's and early 60's were so feminine and classic. The few places where you can buy that style of clothes are very expensive. Thankfully, the pattern companies recognize the need for that kind of style and those patterns are available again. I'm not done buying patterns, but I've already got quite a collection! I can't wait to get started! My sewing machine is going to be VERY busy over the next few months!

Anyway, that's the update on our household. Hopefully, I'll be more of myself and can get back to regular postings soon.

Missing In Action

2011-10-02T22:51:00.003-05:00

I've been neglecting you, my dear readers. I'm very sorry. I have had my hands very, very full lately.

You see, Pirate Baby has had 4 teeth come in during a time span of 4 weeks. When that 4th tooth had just barely broken the surface, he also got a nasty little cold. He's been one miserable little boy.

One unhappy baby.

There's something about a child's scream that gets into your spine and turns it into mush.* I'm so exhausted lately from all the crying and screaming out of this (normally) cute little guy. I'm lucky I manage to get real clothes on during the day, let alone get anything done in my house and... I don't know... get a shower?

*Somewhere, there is a quote about that kind of thing. I swear it's from Bill Cosby Himself, but I can find it. If you know which quote I'm talking about, please find it for me. I'm losing my mind trying to figure it out. K'thanx.

I have managed some major accomplishments during that time (mopped my kitchen floor, and have baby-proofed my living room for our new crawler!), but not much else. We won't discuss the condition of my dining room or the looming pile of laundry in my bedroom. I'm afraid the dirty clothes are going to attack Surfer Pirate some morning when he's passing by them in the dark!

{alarm goes off}

groan

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle

{LEAP!}

AAAAGH!!

{muffled sounds}

...urp...

*sorry. Like I said. I'm tired.

Anyway, so you'll have to bear (bare? Don't know which one is correct right now) with me if I'm sort of quiet these days. I'm fine, just a little worn out. Processing thoughts isn't really my best thing right now.

Truth in Advertising

2011-09-19T10:07:00.011-05:00

First, and most important, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!

In honor of today, Pirate Baby and I are wearing pirate-themed clothing. As you can see, he's passed out from the excitement of it all.

I also thought it would be a great day to talk about my newest purchase!
If you've paid any attention to my blog, you've probably noticed my cute little avatar up here. I found that picture a couple years ago when looking for different pictures to use here. She's cute and spunky, but she isn't me. She's just a model for a costume company. But I fell in love with the hat and swore I would have it one day.

A couple weeks ago, the price was right, so I bought it!

I tried to get an artistic picture of me in the hat - showing off my new hair color, but avoiding my face. (I don't want my face on my blog for obvious privacy issues.) It wasn't working. I couldn't get a decent shot.

Plan B was to get Major Stede to model it for me. I thought it would be funny, but he wasn't having it. He ran away from me like I was trying to spray paint him pink or something!

Plan C was Pirate Baby:

Hey, this thing doesn't fit. You're going to have to hold it up for me, Mom.

Ooh! Pretty ribbon to yank on!

Sideways is a little weird.

Help!

Okay, I think I've got it now.

Yep. I'm cool!

So there ya go. While you may not be able to see what I look like in the hat, rest assured that I do indeed own it and will be wearing it from time to time. (When I'm not hiding it from Brave Bonny. She thinks it looks like a great place for a nap!)

That Magical Pixie Dust

2011-09-16T23:24:00.006-05:00

Gorgeous Image from Here

My sister and I always had different taste in men. She favored blondes while I preferred dark hair, and we even differed in our taste in facial structure. Many times, she would be drooling over some guy, and I would NOT be able to see what she found so attractive. I'm sure she felt the same way about my taste, but we were pretty careful not to insult each others' preferences.

So when Ice Ice Baby popped up on the charts in 1990, I can't say I was terribly surprised to see that my sister was in love with this guy:

Blast From the Past found Here

...and I did NOT understand the attraction.

At all.

Years passed.

Surfer Pirate and I met online and got to know each other that way for a few weeks. (Good ol' Myspace. We used to joke that we should do Myspace ads similar to the EHarmony ads.) Then we had our first real date, and something just clicked between us. I had sworn after my divorce that I would never date anyone exclusively again until I had an engagement ring on my finger. But just 2 days after that first date, I was done seeing other people. I sent my sister a picture of my new boyfriend. Her response?

"You do realize you're dating Vanilla Ice, right?"

It made me laugh, but I do have to admit, I was slightly insulted by that comment. Vanilla Ice was certainly not someone I had found any sort of attraction to in the past.

But I just chalked it up as a compliment - which coming from her, that WAS a compliment - and moved on.

Then one day this past year, I was channel surfing, and I saw that there was a show on called The Vanilla Ice Project. I was curious, so I switched over to that channel.

...and whatdaya know??

She was right!

I married Vanilla Ice!!

Somewhere along the line, the odd looking, really weird-haired guy from the early 90's had turned into this complete hunk!

Yumminess found Here

The resemblance between them is uncanny! They could be brothers! If you were to take Surfer Pirate and his brother* and combine their two faces, you would have Vanilla Ice.

*Surfer Pirate's brother. I don't know if Vanilla Ice even HAS a brother.

I suddenly had a new appreciation for this guy that my sister had liked for so long. (Even when he was getting lots of bad press and had become somewhat of a joke, she still always loved him.)

But tonight, that appreciation grew.

Turns out, in Kent, England, Vanilla Ice is playing a PIRATE!!!

For More Info, go Here

That makes me so insanely happy I can hardly stand myself!

Who wants to buy me tickets to go to England to see this in person??

You Get What You Pay For

2011-09-12T11:05:00.004-05:00

Subtitle: An Ode to Clairol's Nice 'N Easy

I discovered my beloved haircolor brand when I was 14. Like many teenage girls, I found fault with a part of my body and wished I could change it. In my case, it was my hair.

I'm convinced my hair is mildly schizophrenic. When I was a baby, it was red, then it went blonde, then dishwater blonde (such a lovely name - gag) with some brown, then eventually a much darker brown - about a shade lighter than Pirate Munchkin's. I can probably blame the light to dark phenomenon on my father's genes. The men in their family start out platinum blonde, then go dark brown around the time they hit puberty. (Which is why Pirate Baby could eventually become a brunette.) My sister used to claim that she had found every color of the rainbow in my hair, sometimes pointing out a blue or green hair.

Anyway, when I was 14, my mother agreed to let me change my hair color. I wanted a true blonde. We selected a pretty blonde shade of Clairol's Nice 'N Easy haircolor and went to work on my hair.

It came out red.

I decided I liked it, and stayed a redhead for years.

My ex, among many of his other weird issues, didn't approve of me coloring my hair. But after we split up, I went right back to playing with my haircolor. Aside from the occasional professional jobs, I've usually done it myself - with my beloved Nice 'N Easy.

With the help of some friends, I've managed to find some places to get free coupons and free samples of products. It's become a game to me to see what stuff I can get to show up in my mailbox that I didn't pay for. So when I saw an offer for free haircolor, I jumped at the chance.

We're limited to a lot up here in Northern Middle of Nowhere, North Dakota, so my little local store doesn't even carry this particular type of haircolor. And even though this particular style of haircolor has lots of color options, I didn't have a lot of choice for colors where I COULD find the style. I usually go with a lighter brownish red, a little darker than strawberry blonde. I couldn't find anything in that color range, but I did find a darker brownish red that looked good. So I used my free coupon and took it home.

I decided I would make a spa day of it, in celebration of school starting up again. I did a pedicure and did my hair that day. My toes looked gorgeous, but my hair...

Let me just say, you get what you pay for.

First of all, my hair is long - about halfway down my back. I usually have more than enough color in the bottle to completely cover my hair, plus a little extra. In the case of this new stuff, I had just finished covering my scalp when I realized I didn't have any color left in the bottle! I was not about to leave the house with half-finished hair. Plus, even if I could make do temporarily, I would have to drive another hour away to pick up a second box. On top of those issues, Pirate Baby was crying and needed me NOW! I did my best to lather all the color in and went to soothe my little boy.

Nice 'N Easy has you leave the color on for 25 minutes. I was happy to see this new one was only 10 minutes. When the timer went off, I jumped in the shower to rinse it out. You're supposed to rinse your hair until the water is clear. But the water never did run clear!!! I probably could have stood in the shower for an hour, and it STILL wouldn't have gotten all the extra color out. I blow-dried my hair like I always do, so I could see how the color turned out, and...

I had leopard spots.

The old color and new color were drastically different, and the new color had not covered all my hair. I had patches of light brownish red mixed in with this rather odd red. (Surfer Pirate referred to the new color as Gothic Red - meaning it looked like the kind of red a girl who wore gothic clothing would dye her hair.)

I called my mom for advice (she's been coloring her hair for decades), and she suggested washing it right away with dish soap to strip the color out, and conditioning the heck out of it. I followed her advice. The dish soap did nothing. For the last 3 weeks, I've kept it pulled back or braided to try to hide how weird it looked. It faded a little, and the patches weren't quite so obvious.

Meanwhile, it took a week before my rinse water ever ran clear. My towel has reddish colored stains on it, and even my beloved Ikea chair has red streaks on it from where my hair dripped on it. (Hopefully they'll come out next time I throw the cover in the wash.)

And then yesterday, standing in the sunlight streaming in my bathroom window, I noticed my hair had taken on a rather PINK hue.

Um... yeah.

Not happening.

This morning, as soon as Pirate Baby went down for his morning nap, I fixed my hair. It's now a very pretty darker brown with some red highlights in it. I love it. I can't stop looking at it.

As far as the free stuff is concerned, I was sure it would be fine. It wasn't like I was trying some weird brand I'd never heard of. It was just another style made by Clairol. I won't use the name because I won't have it linked to my blog and I refuse to come across as endorsing it. But I will say that my Instincts tell me that someone thought if they put the word Natural on the box that people would think it was good for their hair.

By the way, I am not being paid to endorse Clairol's Nice 'N Easy. But if Clairol WANTED to pay me or send me free boxes of the stuff, I would love them even more than I already do!

The Teenage Me Should Be In Prison

2011-09-11T16:19:00.005-05:00

So maybe I'm not feeling all that patriotic today. It's been 10 years since the attack on the World Trade Towers, and that's all anyone can talk about. Pirate Munchkin and I had a long talk about it yesterday, and I was sad and emotional. But today? I just can't deal with it. There are just too many horrible things going on around me lately with my friends and loved ones, and I just can't deal with a tragedy that happened a decade ago. A family member of mine is being admitted to the hospital today for some scary reasons, a dear friend's son is in the hospital after a football injury, another friend just found out some devastating and horrifying news about one of his family members, and I've got another friend who's dealing with court proceedings over something that shouldn't even be in court. Life is not fair. On one hand, I'm really glad that none of the drama is going on with my own household (can't take anymore of that), but on the other hand, I have so many people I'm worried about. So many people in my thoughts and prayers right now.

So I'm taking a break from the sad to talk about something kind of funny.

I graduated from high school seven{ahem}teen{cough, cough} years ago, and when I was in school, things were different. Things that were considered no big deal back then would get a kid in serious trouble now.

1. Nowadays, I would be labeled as someone with Columbine-like pre-attack behavior.

In junior high, after a little ongoing battle with a group of kids at school who were bullying me, I had written my frustrations down on a sheet of paper at home. I was so amazed with myself at my cleverness at how it was written that I brought it to school to show to a friend. On this piece of paper, a couple of specific names were mentioned, along with a specific threats that I wanted to make to them. The piece of paper accidentally fell out of my bag and, to my horror, was found by a friend of one of the people I mentioned. Next thing I knew, I had a war on my hands. This group of other kids made the whole rest of that year a living hell.

In high school, I carried a knife everywhere I went. It was a fishing knife that my mother had found in the seat of a used car she bought. It had a very pretty pearl handle and a blade that was about 5 inches long. I sharpened it all. the. time. (It was so sharp that one time some friends and I were out for the weekend and their mother had packed them an extra large deli-style sandwich. She hadn't cut the sandwich into individual portions, and had forgotten to pack a knife for them to use. I let them borrow my knife, and it sliced cleanly through that sandwich like it was warm butter. We're talking thick French bread, several layers of deli meat, plus lettuce and tomato! We were all a little stunned.) I really wasn't sure if I could ever use the knife on someone if I was attacked, but it made me feel a little safer in an unsure world.

In schools now, any weapon - even a tiny little pocketknife - would be confiscated, and you could even face possible expulsion. Combine the fact that I carried a weapon in school AND had made previous threats on other kids, and I would have probably had the FBI down my throat. The (1st) irony of this, of course, is that I've never been in a physical fight with anyone! I've never punched anyone (well, technically. I've punched Surfer Pirate when we've been playing around), and I've certainly never used a weapon on anyone! I never even fired a gun until I was in my 30's!* The 2nd irony of these stories is that at least two of the boys involved in my junior high incident have previously been, or are currently in prison.

2. I was also a stalker.

I've always been "boy crazy". The first crush I remember was when I was 6 years old, and was in love with a 15 year old. From then on, there was always some boy I was pining over. I had connections at my high school who could get me addresses, phone numbers and school schedules of whoever my latest crush was. I would walk past houses, visit jobs (luckily for me, most teenagers have jobs with easy public access - like fast food and pizza places), and arrange my routine in the hallways between classes in ways that would put me in the path of my latest dream man. I even once managed to get the address to a high school out of state where I guy I liked transferred after moving away (and no, he didn't move to avoid me. I wasn't THAT crazy).

*Picture Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles mooning over Jake Ryan. Good examples in this clip at moments 0:44, and 1:05. For the record, I did have some younger annoying short guy bugging me on a regular basis as well!
In my defense, I wasn't the only one. I remember an incident of a friend of mine who would regularly stand outside his ex-girlfriend's house at night waiting for a glimpse of her. He was heartbroken when she broke up with him and was having a hard time letting go.

Nowadays, that behavior is called Stalking, and people go to jail for that kind of thing. In my case, I was actually quite shy (something that people who knew me in later years would never believe!) I never had the nerve to go up and just talk to some guy I liked, so instead, I would just open up the opportunity for THEM to talk to ME. If I was in the hall where they were, or passing by their house, maybe they would come up to me and confess their undying affection for me.

...never happened. But I girl can dream, right?

So there you go. My confession of being a hardened criminal.

*I have since fired many different kinds of guns, including an AK-47! Let me tell you, there's nothing that releases tension when you're having an extremely bad day than shooting a semi-automatic AK-47!

Funniness As Distraction

2011-09-06T13:57:00.003-05:00

This kick-ass picture came from here. The picture is titled "Booty Call". How funny is that??

I just got some potentially bad news from a friend of mine. I can't deal with it right now, so I thought it would be a good time for a funny story.

As I mentioned recently, internet dating can introduce you to some interesting characters. (Wow, that was a lot of 'i' words for one sentence!) This seems like a good time to tell about one of the other more unusual ones from that time in my life.

As I mentioned before, I was on a church-based dating site. One night, I was browsing around the site searching for Mr Right when I had an instant message pop up - from a woman. Uh......

This person kept saying things like I looked like a very nice person and I was pretty, etc. Disturbing to say the least. After some probing questions, the person on the other end of the conversation explained that he was not a woman. His sister had let him log in on her account to check out the site in order for him to decide if he wanted to join. (That would have been helpful information BEFORE commenting that I was pretty, don't ya think??)

I can't for the life of me remember his name right now, so I'll just call him "David".

David had apparently found what he was looking for in me because he never did join the site. He was odd, but didn't seem dangerous, so I allowed him to contact me via email. We sent emails back and forth, and sometimes we would chat via instant message. He told me he lived in Ghana. Odd, but... okay. He claimed to work for a company that had offices in the US, so that explained why his written English was almost perfect. He sent me pictures of himself. Some of them were from the 90's, so that was strange. Eventually, he asked for my phone number.

*By this point, I definitely found the whole thing a little fishy. The claim of being from Ghana always made me think of those scams where you're supposed to send money to some Nigerian prince. The first time he called me, the claim of being from Africa was pretty much verified. His accent was extremely thick, and I had a difficult time understanding him.

I kept waiting for the bomb to drop. Somewhere along the line, he was going to ask me for money.

After a while, he dropped the L word on me. I almost laughed myself silly on the other side of my computer screen. Here it comes, I thought! The money question. Is he going to ask me to pay for a trip to come see me? Is his sister trapped somewhere, needing the funds to get home? What's the game here?

Nothing. Still no catch to this odd game. This little "romance" wasn't costing me anything more than my regular monthly internet and cell phone bills. I was driving myself a little crazy trying to figure out where all this was going to go.

Then one day, he announced he was coming to the US for business! He was going to be working in Alaska, and he was hoping to be able to try to fly in to Montana to see me. He even called me from Alaska one day. It was a different phone than I was used to, and when I asked him about it, he said it was his boss' cell phone. (He had told me earlier that his boss was from back east somewhere - I forget.)

But when I did a reverse phone number search online, the number was a land line in Georgia.

He never did come see me, and the next time I talked to him, he'd gone back to Ghana. He was sorry he hadn't been able to squeeze a trip to Montana in before he had to go back. This went on for months. Nothing. No asking for money. No other scam of any kind. I knew he was full of crap, but what KIND of crap??

Eventually, Surfer Pirate and I started seeing each other exclusively, and I told David that I didn't want him to contact me anymore.

I still have no idea what that was all about.

Horrible

2011-09-06T08:24:00.002-05:00

I'm not including a picture with this posting because the subject is too sad to include one. This is a news article from this past Sunday:

Newborn fatally mauled by family dog near Houston

HOUSTON (AP) — A two-week-old Houston-area boy has died after being mauled by the family dog.

The incident happened Saturday night as the baby sat in an infant carrier on the floor of a room in the family house. Harris County sheriff's spokesman Thomas Gilliland says the dog, a Labrador mix, began sniffing the child and attacked him before the parents could pull it away.

The child was airlifted to Memorial Hermann Hospital, where he died early Sunday. Animal control officers have taken custody of the dog for quarantine.

This is horribly tragic for those parents. I'm sure they never thought there was any danger in leaving their baby in his car seat near their dog. My heart just breaks for them.

This is why you can't leave your babies (and small children) unattended with dogs around - NO MATTER WHAT BREED THEY ARE.

The common thought in our society is that the only dogs who would do such a horrible thing are pit bulls, rottweilers, dobermans, etc. The big scary guard dog types. But Rover, the sweet lab? He'd never hurt a fly! Labradors are the most popular dog breed because they're always so gentle and good with children. They would never hurt a child!

Not true.

This story proves that.

Unfortunately, these kinds of stories don't get noticed as much in the news. This article was just a little minor side note I noticed while reading a much bigger story. If the dog had been a pit bull, it would have been front page news. ANY dog can attack. ANY breed can snap under the right circumstances.

Miss Dampier is a pit bull. Major Stede is part rottweiler. They're both very sweet, gentle, protective dogs. I know my dogs love my kids, and I don't think they would ever intentionally hurt them.

But I never leave them alone with my baby. And I teach my daughter how to behave around animals so she doesn't upset them or scare them - which could cause them to snap at her.

Breed means nothing.

Never leave your babies alone with a dog.

A Boy and His Dog

2011-09-05T00:01:00.010-05:00

Major Stede is a serious Mama's Boy. I chose him over his siblings because he had the coolest spotty tongue. Pirate Surfer wanted me to build a bond with him, so I was completely in charge of his training from the day we brought him home. And it worked. This dog is completely devoted to me, and I'm pretty darn attached to him as well.

So it worried me when I got pregnant. Would Major Stede be jealous of the baby? I wasn't too worried about Miss Dampier. She's always been very maternal, and even started snuggling with my belly long before I was even showing! Major Stede never seemed to notice that my belly had even grown. I was just his mama, that was all that mattered.

When we got home from the hospital, I left the baby safely in his car seat in the mudroom while I went to greet my sweet dogs. As expected, they bounced and jumped and wiggled and made all kinds of happy noises, thrilled that we were home. Once I felt like they had gotten their greetings in, I went to get Pirate Baby. I put his car seat on the table (safely out of doggy reach) and unbuckled him. I cradled him in my arms and turned around.

What I saw behind me completely stunned me.

My two crazy dogs who had been bouncing all over the house just seconds before were COMPLETELY STILL. They were both sitting obediently behind me, staring in awe at the tiny person in my arms. They knew this was a time to be quiet and gentle. I let them briefly sniff the baby, telling them that he's part of the family.

From then on, they have been super protective of him, and always gentle.

Major Stede and Pirate Baby have a very close bond.

While Miss Dampier will give kisses and wuvvins if Pirate Baby is in my arms, Major Stede will play with him and love on him every chance he gets. It's a constant thing around here.

July 25, 2011

Doggy ears are fun to yank on

Must eat doggy!

Doggy loves his baby

August 5, 2011

Baby makes a good pillow

His mouth smells good, too.

It's ok, kid. I don't mind if you pull my ears.

Wuvvins

I so love my two little boys!

Sugar and Spice and Everything...Not So... Smart

2011-09-04T11:52:00.003-05:00

This cute little goat came from here.

I'm reluctant to title this as a Stupid Criminal article because I'm not quick to call children stupid. I save that for adults who should know better. Maybe that's why I never sat down and did this entry yesterday - being my usual Stupid Criminal Saturday.

So maybe we should call this one Not So Smart Sunday.

Anyway, this story was brought to my attention by my friend J. It comes from our neighbors in Minnesota.

2 Minnesota girls in pajamas take stolen goat for walk

MANKATO, Minn. — Mankato police probably never expected to get a call like this.

The 911 caller said two young girls, dressed in their pajamas, were out for a walk with a goat about 11:30 p.m. Saturday. The girls told the responding officer that the goat lived in their bedroom closet and that they regularly took it out for late-night walks.

The officer walked the girls and goat home to talk to the parents. The girls, both under the age of 10, had been at a birthday party at the Sibley Park Zoo earlier that day and had come up with a plan to take one of the goats home. The Free Press (http://bit.ly/qB0qd4) says police don't know how the girls managed to free the goat.

I absolutely love that they told the police the goat lives in their closet!! That's just awesome. Stealing a goat is wrong, but you've got to love the creativity of these two little girls!

Death By Cat

2011-09-02T16:41:00.004-05:00

You'd never know to look at him, but this little guy is a cold blooded killer!

Pirate Baby was sitting on my lap, playing his favorite game of Let's Push Buttons On Mommy's Computer. To distract him, I let him have my water bottle.

Yes, I know it's not politically correct to reuse this type of water bottle, and I don't care. Find me a reusable water bottle with this kind of top on it, and I'll happily use it. Until then, I will continue to use this kind. I drove all the way to Montana to get this particular kind, thank you very much!

He was happily playing with the bottle, trying to drink out of it, and enjoying the sound of the water sloshing around inside it.

Meanwhile, Captain Kitty was contentedly asleep near my feet.
I have to describe this step by step to get the full effect:

1. Pirate Baby bounces the water bottle too hard, dropping it. This may or may not have been on purpose. It could have been an accident, but then again, he was pretty mad at me that I wouldn't let him push buttons on the computer. Payback? Who knows?

2. Water bottle falls off my lap, hitting the floor, inches from sleeping Captain Kitty.

3. Captain Kitty freaks out from the attack from the sky and goes flying to a safer location.

4. Captain Kitty's claws are in full attack mode, ready to kill whatever fell from the sky.

5. As Captain Kitty flees the danger zone, he has to pass by my foot. Previously mentioned claws tear their way across the top of my foot.

6. I say OW!

7. I look down to survey the damage.

8. Blood oozes out of my foot.

I'm scarred for life. The kid tried to frame the cat for my murder.

Excuse Me While I Step Up on My Soapbox

2011-09-02T03:09:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, a little "game" will pop up on facebook. They're supposed to be fun and sort of secretive - confusing people in the name of "awareness."

They're always for Breast Cancer Awareness.

There's a new one going around now. You're supposed to imply that you're pregnant and say what you're craving.

My blogging friend posted something tonight about how this new game needs to stop because it hurts those of us who have gone through (or are still going through) infertility and baby losses. I posted what she said because it fit me as well.

I have 3 issues with this particular game.

1. Awareness?? Really?? You would pretty much have to have been living under a rock for the last 15 years or so to not be aware of breast cancer. Everywhere you go, you can find something pink that is either for awareness or support of breast cancer research. There are marathons everywhere for breast cancer awareness and a celebration for the survivors of this disease. Yes, I agree that it's a horrible, horrible disease. Cancer is really scary, and I hate it more than I can ever express. But is there really anyone out there who isn't aware of breast cancer?

2. Why does is always have to be about breast cancer? Yes, it is far too common of a disease. Men and women both are stricken with it, and it's awful. But it's very commonness is central to the fact that the survival rate for breast cancer is now more than 80%. If you're diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctors KNOW what to do to treat it. The procedures have been tested and tried over and over again. Isn't it time we start spreading awareness and focusing on research for other cancers? My sister died at 35 years old from non-smoker lung cancer. The survival rate for that is ZERO percent. ZERO. As in, if you get non-smoker lung cancer, you're going to die. Period. Where are the yellow ribbons for Lung Cancer Awareness? I've yet to see yellow kitchen appliances in stores, or marathons where everyone wears yellow.

3. This new game wants you to imply that you're pregnant and having cravings. Unless you have been through it, you have NO IDEA how painful it is to watch everyone else around you get pregnant when you're dealing with infertility or have lost a baby. It's hard enough to deal with all the real pregnancies that happen all around you, don't make it worse for someone who is suffering by pretending you're pregnant. It's not funny to those of us who've been there.

When you jump into a game in a public forum, please be sensitive to those around you. Some of them may seem completely innocent, but tears are being shed that people aren't aware of.

And please forgive me for my soapbox this very, very early morning. Pirate Baby woke me up at 1:00 this morning and wouldn't go back to sleep for almost 2 hours. And now my brain is having a hard time shutting off.

Cameras

2011-08-31T11:59:00.002-05:00

When I first heard they were putting cameras in cell phones, I thought it sounded like a neat idea, but figured I'd never really use it. The first phone I had that had a camera was not impressive. I much preferred my digital.

Time passes. Technology improves.

*Mike Birbiglia, one of my favorite comedians talks about cameras. Here's a clip of it, including some jokes about rap. There are a few naughty words, but they've been bleeped out.

This morning, I needed to run some errands. When I pulled into my driveway, I caught a glimpse of this monarch butterfly through my neighbors' fence. The digital camera was in the house, but as always, I had my phone.

I had to reach way over the fence to get this shot, but I caught the butterfly right as he turned towards me. I was like he said "Oh no. Get this side. This is my good side."

I sat and watched him (I'm assuming. It may very well have been a girl butterfly) for a while, and then he flew away. But instead of just going somewhere else, he flew around me several times, coming within a foot of my face at one point.

Beautiful little show-off.

Just for fun, here's another funny bit by Mike Birbiglia.

The Wacky World of Internet Dating

2011-08-30T22:27:00.002-05:00

First of all, I should announce that Pirate Baby got his first tooth last Wednesday!! It's still not all the way out, and the poor guy has been extra miserable today. Which means his mama has had an extra rough day as well. I'm enjoying the calm peacefulness that I've finally got in my house today. I'll be glad when that tooth makes it's full appearance (and when our Hylands Teething Tablets get here!)

So while we're on the subject of things that bite...

Internet Dating!!

*I'm only sort of kidding. It was too good of a segue to pass up!

One of the blogs I read all the time was talking about internet dating today. It reminded me of a story I've been meaning to tell on here for a while.

When I found myself newly single in 2007, I decided I would give internet dating a shot. My sister had met her husband online. My mom and step-dad had found each other again online. I figured I had a pretty good chance with the internet.

I had a very specific idea in mind of what kind of man I was looking for, so I signed up on a church based dating site. I was nervous when I set up my profile. I tried to be as honest as I could without revealing too much information (I was fairly internet phobic back then). I finished, clicked done, and tried to be patient.

I started getting responses quite quickly.

Each one seemed to be a little more odd than the one before.

What I came to discover was that apparently the guys who have been shot down by everyone else stalk the "New Members" listings, in search of new blood. They're like very creepy little sharks.

But they also make for fun story material.

Before I get to my favorite story from that batch of men, I'll throw in another doozy. Dave* was a 49 year old, twice-divorced father of 2. I informed him right away that nothing would be happening with us because he was much too old for me. (The age range I had entered was 31-41. I was not about to get involved with someone 8 years past that range!) But he was sort of entertaining, and I didn't have much else going on at that moment, so I stuck around to talk to him online. He told me that he was looking for a young bride because he wanted more children. He was an odd duck.

But now we're up to my favorite story. After a week or so of being bombarded by strange long-term members (creepy little sharks), I got a message from a guy named Jeff*. His profile listed him as being new like me. He hadn't posted a picture yet, and he wasn't quite done entering information, but I saw he had listed that he was going to culinary school. I always thought that seemed like a fun thing to do, so I was curious. We ended up instant messaging, and he seemed like a nice enough guy. Eventually, we got into the discussion about his culinary school. I asked him what his focus was - what type of cooking he wanted to do (French, Mexican, pastry, etc) - trying to get an idea of what he wanted to do with himself after he finished school. I was expecting to hear something like he wanted to become the head chef at a 5-star gourmet restaurant. Or maybe a cruise ship chef. Heck, even short-order cook in some little cafe. So how does Jeff answer the question?

"I like meatloaf."

--

--

My mind was reeling...

Uhhhhhh....

WHAT?

Did you... did you really just answer a... a question about your schooling... did you really just tell me... the answer to why you're paying tuition someplace... to learn how to be a chef... is that you LIKE MEATLOAF??

I decided that any sort of romantic relationship with Jeff was not possible. He just didn't seem all that bright to me after such a ridiculous answer. On top of that, I hate meatloaf. (Both the food and the "musician".)

I was so stunned by this guy that I had to tell my friend about him. We decided that he had big dreams of opening a restaurant that serves only different varieties of meatloaf. He's going to become famous for his meatloaf.

We started referring to him as Jeff the Famous Meatloaf Chef.

And I ignored further messages from him.

Eventually, I noticed he'd put up a profile picture. Jeff weighed somewhere around 400 pounds. Guess he really DID love meatloaf!

I never did find romance on that site, although I did make some friends. When my contract time ended, I decided not to renew my membership. I wanted to take a break from finding Mr Right and just focus on Mr Right Now. I opened a Myspace profile, and that's where I met Surfer Pirate.

Guess online dating was still the right way to go for me.

*Names changed to protect the crazy.

8 Months!

2011-08-24T17:12:00.013-05:00

What's that in your hand, Mom?

It looks really interesting.

Can I see it??

His ear isn't very tasty.

Getting kind of bored with this guy.

That looks like more fun over there.

But I'll give you one good shot first.

And now I'm OUTTA here!!

This looks like fun.

What else can I get into?

I finally just gave up and switched to video mode to catch all the action. Enjoy!

Something Fun

2011-08-24T16:18:00.014-05:00

One of the very few pictures of Pirate Baby taken at the hospital. So much of the five days we were there was a complete blur. I believe he was about 3 days old when I took this one. He was very jaundiced, so that lovely blue glow is called a Bili Blanket.
(And please admire my lovely purple pants.)

A friend (she knows who she is) suggested taking Pirate Baby's pictures with the same stuffed animal every month to track how much he's grown. It's great advice that I've followed, but I wish I'd had the sense to take his picture with it as soon as we got home from the hospital. Oh well. Live and learn, right?

*I bought the rhino Pirate Baby poses with when I was in college. I adore him, and I always swore that I would give him to my first baby. When Pirate Munchkin came along, the rhino was buried in a box in my basement, and she already had so many toys that I decided I'd wait for my first-BORN baby instead. So Pirate Baby is the owner of my beloved Rodney.

One Month
You can see he's still quite jaundiced.

Two Months
A little more alert, and actually fitting into his clothes!

Three Months
Just hanging out while wondering what his weird mother is doing.

Four Months
While doing this photo shoot (my, how fancy!), he discovered his feet for the first time.

Five Months
I forgot to take the five month pictures at the time, so when I remembered to get them done, he was almost 5 1/2 months. Oops.

Six Months
Mommy's Little Pirate

Seven Months
Daddy's Little Surfer

Each month, it takes longer and longer to get through these photo sessions because he's getting so active. This month, he was so busy that I had to switch the camera to video mode. The whole series of pictures is really fun, so I'll put those in a separate posting.

What Is Love?

2011-08-22T00:07:00.003-05:00

A rare glimpse of the sometimes mythical Surfer Pirate foot!

As soon as the title of this entry popped into my head, I got this stuck in there as well.

Miss Dampier is a daddy's girl, through and through. She gets really needy when we're gone for a while - but especially when her daddy is gone. When we went to Montana, she was apparently afraid that we would never come back because she's hardly let her daddy out of her sight since then.

I think this year's harvest season is going to be hard on her.

Adventures of Brave Bonny, Part 2

2011-08-20T21:55:00.003-05:00

We were thrilled to discover that it's only $6 more to add the football package to our cable. Last year, we got to see not quite half the Green Bay games for Surfer Pirate. I only got to see maybe 2 of my Falcons games. But this year? It's Football City around here!!

Brave Bonny has gotten caught up in the excitement of the start of football season.

She's decided she wants a career in the NFL.

She wants to be a wide receiver because she is fast and can jump. I have to disagree. I have yet to see her catch any of the flies that manage to sneak into my house. But that's her dream, what can I say?

Here we see her resting after a hard practice. (She uses the football pillow because she can cheat and sink her claws in it, but don't tell her I said so.) She's also stolen my favorite chair. She already thinks she's the star.

The One Where I Either Creep Everyone Out or Convince Them I'm Insane

2011-08-17T00:06:00.004-05:00

I never used to believe in ghosts.

All that changed one summer when I was in high school.

I won't get into the story right now because it gets me all spookified and nervous, and I don't like to talk about it in my home, especially at night.

But the point is, I have no doubt that ghosts are real.

As the years have passed, I've come to accept it as just a fact, and can recognize that not all ghosts are bad. I think a lot of them just (for one reason or another) enjoy being around the living.

So when we bought our 107 year old house last summer, I didn't bat an eye when the previous owners told us about our ghost. She's non-threatening and doesn't bother me in the least. Surfer Pirate has the ability to see things like that, and has communicated with her from time to time. There was even an interesting detail about our neighbors that she told us last summer that my neighbor unknowingly verified for me recently. It was actually quite entertaining.

But I've had to accept over the last few weeks that she's not the only extra "being" in our house. There is at least one more, and I seem to be the only one who it wants to know about it being here. I've seen it twice out of the corner of my eye. And I've been hearing strange things.

Voices. Lots of times. More times that I can keep track of, I've been walking up the stairs, convinced that Surfer Pirate has the TV on in the bedroom. But when I get to the top of the stairs, it's obvious he's sound asleep and everything is silent. And again today, I came in the back door after letting the dogs out and thought I heard the TV on in the living room. But when I walked from the kitchen to the dining room, I noticed the living room was silent and Pirate Munchkin was upstairs playing in her room.

So, someone is definitely talking in my house. It's creepy and interesting and kind of entertaining at the same time.

Stinky feet couches, stained carpets, and now ghosts. Don't everyone come rush to visit me all at once, ya hear?

Permission

2011-08-15T06:49:00.003-05:00

The sexiness that is this picture found here.

Dear Fellow Mommy Blogger,

I've been reading your blog for well over a year now. Your blog is beautiful and thoughtful, and usually quite fun. I have enjoyed watching your kids grow and hearing what they're doing. A while back, life threw you a curveball and...

Okay, wait. Just made a baseball reference. I hate baseball, so that can't happen. How about this instead: life tackled you like Clay Matthews from the Green Bay Packers * (yeah, I like that better) and instead of laying there on the field, injured, waiting for the coaches and trainers to come scoop you off the field, you got up and kept playing the game of life. I commend you for that. You've really made a name for yourself in the blog world. You've been interviewed countless times and have been asked to speak at different conventions all around the country. And advertisers love your blog.

And you blog daily. I admire that. I've made that a goal to try to do that. But if I were to blog every day right now, it would become a boring list of my daily accomplishments (or non-accomplishments some days). "Hey! I did 5 loads of laundry today!" or "We went to the store and bought groceries today! Woo hoo!" And no one wants to hear what tedious things I did from day to day. I know it can be done. It is possible to post something everyday and have it be something people actually want to read. But for now, I just blog when I have something to say. Sometimes, that's a few times a week. Sometimes, I'll go weeks without saying anything.

But I've noticed in the last little while that your life has become a little too.... well, perfect. You have a wonderful life: great husband, great kids, you live in a beautiful place. I'm happy for you, really, I am. But my life isn't always great. While we're both moms of young children, I can't relate to you anymore. My life has flaws that you don't seem to even have a concept of.

And the ads. I have no problem with side banner ads. I used to have them. They disappeared with one of my background changes, and I've been debating whether or not to put them back on. As long as they're not flashy and annoying, I can peacefully ignore the banner ads. But you've been putting advertisements in your postings. You have great taste. The things you show in your blog are lovely things. I wouldn't mind shopping at some of those places. But having to see those things on so many of your postings just reminds me of how I don't have the money for that kind of stuff right now.

I have a long list of blogs that I read, and I try to check in with them every day. Lately, I've noticed that checking in with your blog has become a chore. Your postings are long (can't complain too much about that, I write pretty long posts myself). If I can't get to my favorite blogs every day, I have a hard time catching up with you.

I'm giving myself permission to walk away.

It's nothing personal. I still think you're great. I wish you well in your life and your endeavors. But I'm done. When I finish with this entry, I'll remove myself as a follower of your blog and delete you from my bookmarks.

You have so many readers, you won't even know I'm gone.

*I really wanted to make that reference to my Atlanta Falcons and my beloved Tony Gonzalez, but it just wasn't going to work for my analogy. Feel free to go here to see the yumminess that is Tony Gonzalez.

Stupid Criminal Saturday, August 13th Edition

2011-08-13T11:44:00.003-05:00

I have no idea what is going on in this picture, and it has nothing to do with the story I'm about to share with you, but it's too full of awesome not to use.

On to today's Stupid Criminal Saturday Story:

2 Colo. officers get desk duty after wild ride

DENVER—Two Colorado police officers traveling to represent their department at another lawman's funeral are on desk duty after authorities say they took an alcohol-fueled ride through Wyoming with their emergency lights flashing and a beer cooler in the back seat.

Aurora officers Bradley B. Bickett and Gerald Kirby, each with more than 30 years on the force, are accused of speeding past traffic with their emergency lights on and tossing trash from a window on their way to the South Dakota funeral of a fallen police officer.

Their squad car was pulled over Wednesday after a volunteer firefighter spotted the car driving erratically on a state highway outside Torrington, Wyo., about 50 miles northeast of Cheyenne. Bickett was charged with driving while impaired, careless driving and speeding, while Kirby was charged with littering.

"The acts of the officers who were en route to represent the department at a funeral are embarrassing to us as an organization," said Bob Friel, spokesman for the police department in the Denver suburb of Aurora.

Friel said Bickett and Kirby received permission to travel to Rapid City, S.D., to represent their department at a funeral for one of two officers killed in a shootout earlier this month. Bickett knew an officer in the department, Friel said.

Goshen County Sheriff's Capt. Bryan Morehouse told Denver's KUSA-TV he smelled alcohol and found beer in a cooler inside the car when he stopped them.

Goshen County Sheriff Donald J. Murphy said Friday that Bickett's blood alcohol level tested at 0.08 percent, the level at which he said a driver is presumed to be under the influence. Another test determined his level was 0.077 percent, Murphy said.

Bickett's speech was described as "slurred" in a booking report posted on the Goshen County Sheriff's Department website. He was released on an own recognizance bond early Thursday.

Two Aurora police officers went to Wyoming to pick up Bickett and Kirby. They were placed on desk duty pending an internal investigation, Friel said.

Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates personally apologized to Murphy, Friel said. Oates also spoke to the 600-member department about what happened, Friel said.

Murphy said Friday he's received some complaints from officers in other departments about the arrests. But he insisted his deputies had no choice.

"My guys felt really bad and embarrassed that they were doing field sobriety on officers from another agency, but at the same time they did what they were supposed to do," Murphy said.

"We had a complaint, we stopped a vehicle, we investigated, and we acted from there. So I think that my officers did exactly what they were supposed to do, and commend them for having the nerve for doing what they did," Murphy said.

In Rapid City, Heupel said Police Chief Steven Allender was aware of the arrests but that department had no comment.

The funeral for the fallen officer, Nick Armstrong, 27, was held Thursday. Armstrong and Officer J. Ryan McCandless were killed in an Aug. 2 shootout that erupted while they were trying to question four men walking with an open alcohol container, said Rapid City police spokeswoman Tarah Heupel. A third officer, Tim Doyle, was hospitalized with multiple gunshot wounds.

The suspected gunman, 22-year-old Daniel Tiger, was shot and killed in the confrontation.

Wow. Just wow.

First of all, my heart goes out to the families of the fallen officers. I couldn't even imagine how difficult it would be to be married to a police officer or a soldier. I would worry every single day.

I don't know whether to laugh or be extremely angry about this one. Not only were 30 year veterans of law enforcement drinking and driving, they were doing it on their way to the funeral of a fellow officer. AND they were behaving in this manner in a patrol car. Just blows my mind.

Adventures of Brave Bonny, Part 1

2011-08-12T11:41:00.002-05:00

Ball of Cat rests after a tiring morning of killing flies.

Bodies of All Types

2011-08-11T13:46:00.009-05:00

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a picture of a girl and a truck together where she's not dressed skanky or a Size 2?
Thanks to this site for the cute picture!

We're a truck family. I'm only 5'5", and I get claustrophobic in traffic, so I prefer a truck because I can see over other vehicles. It's also just the kind of girl I am. I like tools and know how to use 'em!

My very first "car" was a 1981 Chevy Blazer. I loved that truck more than life itself. It was two-tone blue with one primered fender when I bought it, and my birthday gift to myself that year was to have it painted. When the ex and I lived in Salt Lake, the engine blew. He talked me into selling it rather than repairing it, and I always regretted that decision.

I swore one day, I would have the money to buy another one, and I would even have it painted the same color.

Mine looked like this, only not that tall, and it was blue.

Years passed, and while the ex drove our beautiful pickup every day, I was continually talked into buying cars. (I think it always bothered him that I was the kind of girl who was into trucks. He wanted a more submissive, little sedan kind of girl.) We replaced my blazer with a 1988 Acura Legend. I do have to admit I did kind of enjoy driving that car. It had a sunroof and was a little sporty, but it still had that awful problem of giving me serious claustrophobia (especially on Salt Lake freeways!).

Mine looked just like this one

We sold that one before moving back to Montana. There, I had the joy of being pushed into buying a 1989 Dodge Caravan. Not only was it a mini-van (something I swore I would NEVER drive), but it was the color of dirt. It also had an annoying engine problem that would cause it to completely overheat when sitting at an idle.

Ain't it a pretty site?? (Excuse me while I go throw up.)

When we tired of that one's issues, this time he talked me into a 90's model (totally forget what year it was) Dodge Stratus. Or as I called it, the Dodge Stratus POS Lemon. It was evil, and no mechanic could ever figure out what was wrong with it. I hated that car after about the first week.

You'd never know evil lurked beneath such a mild exterior.

*None of the above images are pictures of my actual cars. I got them off the internet. I refused to take pictures of those ugly things.

So when Surfer Pirate and I first started dating, I had just traded in the Lemon for a 2002 Chevy Silverado. I was in heaven having a truck again! Surfer Pirate's Mitsubishi Montero had just died, and he enjoyed driving my truck as much as I did.

Shortly after we got married, I was driving to work one morning, and was stunned to find a Blazer on the side of the road that was almost the same color as my old one! And better yet, it had a For Sale sign in the window!!! We really did need a second vehicle, and this one was a dream come true! We borrowed the money from my parents, and bought it. As soon as it was safely home in my own driveway, I actually hugged it. (Not kidding, I really did.) It was like I finally got my old friend back - only this time, it was even better because it was a little newer and had a big beefy grill on the front.

So now the battle was on to decide who got to drive which vehicle.

Originally, Surfer Pirate wanted the blazer, and he set about covering it with window stickers of things he liked. But then he would decide he wanted the pickup, and covered THOSE windows. I finally got fed up, and told him he needed to pick one and stick with it. I loved both trucks and didn't care which one he wanted to be "his", but I needed to have one that was mine to do with as I pleased.

He settled on the pickup, and I happily went out and took all the stickers off the blazer that I didn't like.

This is one of the ones I kept:

I debated about it at first. It seems like the kind of thing that would be on a man's truck, not a woman's. But I realized that I related to her. She's a tough girl with attitude (the little designs on the "fishnet" are actually dirtbikes). And she's curvy like me. So she stays.

Now...

the whole first part of this entry was not what I originally intended to write.

This entry is actually about self-image, and I was using the girl on my blazer as an example. The rest of it just sort of a tangent.

Welcome to the weird way my mind works.

Anyway.

I haven't been very happy with how I look lately. I think I mentioned before that I'd put on a lot of weight during my first marriage because I was so unhappy. I lost a bunch after the ex left, but I put it all back on with the stresses that life threw at me over the last few years. Then, I got pregnant with Pirate Baby. Morning sickness took some of the weight off, so by the time it was all said and done, I'd only gained 12 pounds in my pregnancy. Which I promptly took back off.

Until I realized last month that I'd put 5 more pounds back on.

I noticed I'd gone back to my bad habit of giving in to all my sugar cravings late at night. I wasn't exercising, and I was eating WAY too much during the day. Something had to change NOW.

The other really important thing about this is that I have a daughter. Pirate Munchkin is 7, and pays attention to everything. I don't want her to hear me say "I'm on a diet because I'm too fat." Instead, I've been telling her that mom needs to be healthier. She's picked up some terms from other girls that I'm not happy about. The child told me one day that she doesn't like how fat her legs are. I told her that her legs are just right for her age, that she's healthy and pretty. Seven is FAR too young to have bad body images, and I am not going to add to what she's already having to hear other girls say at school. (For the record, she is tall and thin - not even what could be termed as chubby.)

*Edited to add: I don't think anyone has been calling Pirate Munchkin fat. I think she's been hearing other girls say that about themselves, and she's repeating what she's hearing.

I'm not a dieter. Every time I've been on a diet in my life, I put the weight right back on as soon as I went off it. So I knew that wasn't the answer for me. But I knew better than to do what I was doing. I cut back on portion sizes, tried to make better snack choices, and the biggest key was figuring out WHY I crave so much junk food late at night (I'll spare you the drama, but I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner). I'm not eliminating anything from my diet. If I want ice cream, I have it - just a (much) smaller portion than I was having before. If I want cookies, I let myself have a couple - I just don't let myself have 10 or 26. And I started making exercise a regular part of my day. I try to walk every morning, and then I try to do another form of exercise sometime during the day. (My favorites are yoga and bellydancing.)

I started actively working on getting healthier exactly one month ago, and in that time, I've taken off 2 pounds and 3 1/2 inches! I've given up my old goal, realizing it's really not necessary or realistic. (I used to always aim for the size I was when I got married for the first time back in 1997. But I've realized that my waist, while super-tiny back then, was disproportionate to the rest of my body. I've upped my original goal by about 10 pounds.) It's going to take a lot of time to get where I want to be, but that's okay. It basically took me 6 years to put it all on in the first place, I'm okay with it taking a year or two to get back there.

Now if you'll excuse me, there is a serious issue at my house. We don't have any cookies.

Most of them will go in the freezer for another time, but I will have some today.

Blankets

2011-08-09T10:14:00.003-05:00

My sister always had a ton of blankets on her bed - even in the summer. I thought she was crazy. How could she stand all that heat? Turns out she liked all the weight of those blankets.

I still thought it was odd, but it made a little more sense after that.

I was treated to her special way of working with blankets a couple of times.

When I was 7, I broke my arm on the playground at school. I basically knocked my rotator cuff loose. It was extremely painful. Pair that with the fact that I was wearing a shirt that had to go on and off OVER MY HEAD. When I complained to my teacher that my arm hurt, she took me into the bathroom to look at it - requiring the shirt to come off. And then of course, go back on. Then I went to my after-school babysitter's where she did the same thing.

I don't remember the logistics of it, but eventually, I ended up at home with my sister before my mom got home from work. After all the repeated abuse to my broken shoulder, I was pretty worn out. My sweet sister proceeded to build me a virtual THRONE of blankets and pillows in our living room chair. It was especially comfy, and I felt like a princess.

(Mom got home, took me to the doctor & all was well after that, but it's not really part of my story here.)

Another time, I was really sick. She pushed our two matching chairs and footstool together so they made one long lounge chair. (We were constantly moving furniture around the living room to build forts and etc. Thanks Mom, for letting us destroy the living room on a regular basis! It was great fun!) She then piled it with blankets and pillows and had me climb into it. She handed me the remote control and let me watch whatever I wanted. I don't think I've ever been more comfortable.

While I don't think I could sleep with all that weight on me year-round, I definitely appreciated how she could make me feel better.

Last night, Pirate Baby slept in a romper that can best be described as a hooded sweatshirt with legs. I didn't think it would get cold enough to worry about his feet, but I was wrong. While his body was nice and warm when he woke up, his little toes were like popcicles! I wrapped a blanket around his little feet while he ate, but they were still cold when he was done. I laid him on the floor with his blanket and some toys and went to get myself some breakfast.

I came back in the living room to find Pirate Munchkin had wrapped him up nice and snug in HER blanket as well.

(Her blanket is the pink one with the stars on it, obviously. His blanket that's being used today is red on one side and has PIRATES on the other side - because my friend J. is AWESOME.)

I just find it so amazing how much my sweet little girl is so much like my dear sister.

What I Did This Summer

2011-08-03T15:50:00.014-05:00

Image found here.

I never actually had a teacher give me that assignment, and I think I always wanted to. My summers as a kid were spent running around Jackson Hole, WY with my cousins. We had hidden forts in the bushes, snuck peas and raspberries out of my grandmother's garden, jumped on the neighbors' trampoline, went shopping, rode the Alpine Slide and went to the shootout. (I seriously need to write a post just about summers in Jackson.) I always knew the other kids would be jealous.

As an adult, summers aren't nearly as fun. For a stay-at-home-mom, summers are often a countdown to the day school starts up again. So when I got a chance to take a trip back to Montana to show off Pirate Baby - getting out of my routine, I jumped at it.

**Someone please remind me to try to cram that much stuff into a single weekend again! That was INSANE! I spent so much time trying to make sure I saw everyone, that I didn't even get to go to Sonic. {big tear} I drove past it, but didn't have time (or room in my stomach since we'd just eaten) to stop and enjoy my giganto cherry limeade. Oh well, next time.

But it WAS wonderful to see everyone. I only regret that I ran around so much I didn't take many pictures.

I did get some shots of the bigger highlights.

First of all, this is how my kids spent much of the weekend:

Eventually, the trip out there started to weigh heavily on the youngest member of our family. (The rest of us felt it as well, but as a baby, you get the benefit of being able to scream and cry whenever you feel like it.) In order to distract him, we introduced him to his first taste of licorice:

Hmmmm... this is interesting

Some time was spent screaming at the licorice and thrashing it around. Gotta teach that candy who's in charge!

Tasty!

This is good stuff, Mom!

Sticky baby!

The main point of the trip was to introduce my dad to his new grandson.

Grandpa has lots of hair to pull!

Grandpa trying to hold onto both grandkids at once. Not an easy task, trust me!

It was nice to see everyone. I've missed my friends and family there. I do NOT however miss the air pollution, noise, crazy rude drivers and over-crowding. I missed my quiet little town, people who aren't in a hurry to get everywhere, and my beautiful star-filled sky. I especially missed my animal babies, who were just as happy to see us as we were to see them.

As you can see, life has returned to normal around here:

Notice the new (non-fur-covered, non-stinky-feet-smelling) couch.
Also notice that Major Stede is on the FLOOR, not the couch.
(Brave Bonny, however, is another story.)

It's good to be home.

*Yes, my living room walls ARE orange, why do you ask?

Swoon

2011-08-02T20:35:00.003-05:00

This picture is complete awesomeness of a swooning woman, but the picture is from a website talking about the non-funny subject of panic attacks. That bums me out a little.

I have a new man in my life.

Don't tell Surfer Pirate.

It's quite the love affair.

He's even a Sugar Daddy! He's a physician!

My new love?

His name is Rug Doctor.

When I was a little girl, my mother bought a Kirby vacuum. Kirby's are NOT cheap, but they seriously last forever. I think my mom's is somewhere around 30 years old and still going strong.

It came with all kinds of really cool attachments.

Including carpet shampooing stuff.

I have ONE memory of mom breaking out that bad boy to shampoo our carpet. I remember foam. Lots and lots of foam. You know in cartoons and movies when someone puts too much soap in the washing machine and the entire house fills up with bubbles? That's pretty much how I remember it. It seemed like it took FOREVER for the carpet to dry enough for us to walk on it. I thought I would never be able to get off my bed.

It was kind of cool.

It was also traumatizing.

Time passed.

When I had my first house, I ripped most of the carpet out to expose the hardwood floors. The remaining carpet could have seriously benefited from being cleaned.

But I was cheap.

And I was intimidated. Carpet shampooing involved massive amounts of bubbles and insane drying time, remember?

(Geez your memory is bad!)

I will never understand people who have white carpet installed in their houses. Almost as bad as white is beige carpet. My house has beige carpet that is basically a small-weave berber.

Beige carpet + lots of animals + kids + husband who is both a mechanic AND a farmer + North Dakota's famous black mud = really dirty carpet.

I have to admit the biggest stain on the carpet was my fault. Surfer Pirate had fixed himself a big cup of coffee, and he'd left it in the kitchen. I decided I would be a nice wife and bring it to him where he was sitting at the dining room table. Except I didn't quite clear one of the chairs, crashing the very full cup into it. The full cup dumped all over him and his clean uniform (minutes before he had to leave for work - he had to go change), all over the dining room table, and all over the floor. We're talking a big blob of a stain about 3 feet long and 18 inches wide.

Yeah. When I make a mess, I REALLY make a mess.

So to shorten a seriously long story a little, we decided to rent a Rug Doctor today and I went to work cleaning our carpet. I was surprised at how easy it was to use, and really impressed at how well it worked.

My carpet looks almost brand-new!

I'm in love.

I think my affair with the good doctor is going to become a regular thing.

Getting There

2011-07-25T14:58:00.003-05:00

He is still rolling to get places, but I noticed today that he's getting ready to crawl! It's not going to be too much longer. Thank goodness for baby gates and outlet covers!

*While yes, I AM actually a fan of the Pina Colada song, I wasn't actually listening to the song per se. We had the movie Grown Ups on in the background.

I have so much to do before we leave to go visit everyone in Montana soon. All of the trips we have taken in the last year have been emergency situations. Coming home to a dirty house drives me INSANE, but I didn't really have a chance to get everything the way I wanted in my house before leaving. So this time, I want to have the house nice and clean before we go - much more relaxing to come home to a nice house after a trip.

And then there's all the laundry. It might be nice to have clean clothes for our trip. I think the people around us might appreciate us a little more if we DON'T smell like gym socks.

And then there's the extra fun situation on our bed. I noticed the sheets were starting to show signs of wear. I kept meaning to go find the other set we have, but never did feel like rummaging around in my very packed basement.* My mom got us a nice set of white sheets, but I didn't want them to get dingy. But then, this morning, when the blankets were thrown back, Surfer Pirate's side of the bed has a HUGE hole, about 2 feet long. Okay fine. Time to change out all the bedding. And I guess I'm going with the white sheets because I'm still not willing to go dig in my basement.

*Beware buying a house with a lot of storage space. It becomes WAY too easy to fill it all up. Then, when you move to a smaller (although much more charming) house, you have to do some major purging. But even then, quite often, it isn't ENOUGH. So you still have a TON of crap in your basement that you still have to sort through and decide what stays and what goes. I've been procrastinating that part. Today is exactly one year after moving to Northern Middle of Nowhere, ND, and I don't think I've even dealt with 10% of the boxes down there.

I'm looking forward to this trip a lot. My dad gets to meet his grandson for the first time! Many of my friends have had babies since I've been gone, and I can't wait to see them. My cousin and his adorable wife just bought a house. We're talking about possibly going to the drive-in movie theater when we're there, and my home town has a SONIC!!!! CHERRY LIMEADE, HERE I COME!! Plus it will be nice to get away for a little bit.

There is one really interesting thing I have noticed. In the three (horrible) years that I lived in Utah, I went home to Montana every chance I got. And every single time, having to go back to Utah killed me. I didn't like living there, and I really missed my beautiful home state. When I moved back there 10 years ago, I vowed to never leave Montana again. But life changes, things happen, and we ended up taking this opportunity to move to ND.

And you know what??

I LOVE it here!

This trip to Montana will be just that - a nice trip. I'll be more than happy to come home when our vacation time is up.

Home to my beautiful North Dakota with the fields of wheat, soybeans, corn, sunflowers, and the stunning bright yellow of blooming canola. Home to my beautiful Victorian house. Home to my small town where two different people remembered my name today without me even telling them.

Home.

I See You!!

2011-07-23T17:25:00.002-05:00

I can't give credit to the website for this great picture because the website comes up "Forbidden." Somehow, that just seems really appropriate to this picture. LOL

A couple weeks ago, I set a Stat Counter on my blog so I can see how many people are reading my ramblings. It also has fun information like how long they were on my page, where they are, etc. I'm far behind in getting to this, I think most bloggers have had this kind of thing for years. I just haven't gotten around to it.

I get a LOT of hits for my pictures. (Guess that means I should probably figure out how to watermark my personal photos.) But I also get some really fun keyword searches. Here are some of the more interesting ones:

awesome gator pictures

scooby doo villains

pitbull tattoos gangsta

And then of course, there are pirate-related photo searches.

I have people finding my blog from literally all over the world! It's fascinating stuff. I also know that when I link to my blog from facebook, I get some pretty impressive spikes of people who have opened the link.

I KNOW I have more readers than I used to have. I just spoke to someone today who has been reading it. (You know who you are!)

I SEE YOU!

So here's my assignment to you, my dear readers. I want to know who's reading my blog and what you think of it. What do you like? What don't you like? Come out of Lurkdom and tell me who you are.

Stupid Criminal Saturday, July 23rd Edition

2011-07-23T11:50:00.005-05:00

I love when my Stupid Criminal stories come from my very own local news! It makes it SO much more convenient.

Today's story comes from our not-so-distant neighbors in Moorhead, Minnesota. If you go here, you can even see the video from the news.

Naked stranger arrested in Moorhead

As a recent retiree, Bruce Larkin usually sleeps in and peacefully wakes up. But not this morning.

Bruce Larkin, homeowner, says, "Usually she doesn't scream, so my thoughts went, "boom, boom!" I mean, it was quick."

His wife, Maxine, was taking their dogs out when she discovered wet socks and underwear on her front steps. She then found a large puddle of what she believes to be urine. She wondered what was going on and then found the naked truth...

Bruce Larkin says, "Then for some odd reason went to the garage, opened the door and here's this stark ass naked man."

Bruce went around last night and made sure the doors were locked, but there was one he forgot.

Bruce Larkin says, "I usually lock the garage door, but for what odd reason, I didn't think of it."

An intruder came in the back door, and even though the he was just sleeping on the floor, police say the Larkins are lucky.

Tory Jacobson, Moorhead Police, says, "People that leave their doors unlocked and allow for people to gain entries. Certainly scary. Something of concern."

It's a scary situation, and Bruce says his wife is still shaken up. But Bruce just thinks its funny that the incident's only casualty was frozen food.

Bruce Lark in says, "The only thing is the wife's favorite chicken alfredo pizza corner, that's the one he had on the inside steps."

Even with the humor, Bruce says he'll never forget to lock his doors.

I think I'd mostly be upset about the loss of my pizza. Because Pizza Corner? That's some darn good pizza!

* If I'd thought about it when I was out and about this morning, I would have stopped at the store to take a picture of one of their pizzas. Since I didn't, you'll just have to settle for their logo.

Like Mother Like Son

2011-07-18T14:50:00.005-05:00

I was drinking a Dr Pepper when Pirate Baby was on my lap. He looked at the bottle, opened his mouth and said "Aaah!" I gave it to him to see what he would do, and he promptly put it in his mouth.

When I took it away to finish it, he screamed.

This was right after I finished it and gave it back to him.

The child is addicted to DP, just like his mom.

Lazy Poo Day

2011-07-18T10:04:00.004-05:00

No real picture for this post today, so please enjoy this lovely picture of a brooding Jack Sparrow that I got here.

I got up this morning and took a walk. I'm trying to make that a daily thing. I'm also trying to get in the habit of exercising in the morning after I get home from my walk, but some different circumstances threw off my routine today. I'm sitting in my comfy chair reading blogs with a baby on my lap who is apparently not feeling very well. He's doing his "I'm sleepy" behavior, but he won't go to sleep. Not sure what his deal is.

Meanwhile, I have a big project I need to do today. I'm not looking forward to it, so I haven't started it yet. The last few days have been hot and super humid. I don't think I've ever been so sticky in my life, and it's zapped all my energy. "You should drink more water," would be good advice. Except as I learned LAST summer, they treat our water here once a year. Normally, we have pretty tasty water, and I drink a lot of it. But whatever they treat this stuff with is beyond nasty. I can't stand the stuff. And that's how my water tastes right now. Ick.

So here I've sit in my sticky hot house (and no J, I don't want to hear how cold your toes are right now. You and your central air can go jump in a lake!) wishing I had something more fun to do.

So I think I'll tell you the story of how I almost married a Hoarder.

The year I graduated from high school, scholarships were hard to come by. A friend of mine was one of our valedictorians, and she didn't even get one. Looking back, I realize I might have had more of a chance if I'd actually applied for more of them, but I think I was pretty much waiting for the Scholarship Fairy to leave a little gift under my pillow while I slept.

I only mention this because I think if I'd had financial abilities to finish school, this situation probably wouldn't have happened. 1. I would have known that I had many years to get through, so I might not have tried to squeeze so much out of my first year in school. 2. I might have put more effort into making friendships on campus if I knew I was going to have all these people to lean on through the years. 3. I wouldn't have seen "marrying a state resident" as an opportunity to finish school.

As it was, I knew going into it that I probably wouldn't be able to afford more than a year of college.

And I loved college.

Add to all that the fact that I've always been very focused on having a family (In the last 17 years, I've spent 10 of those in my first marriage, almost 3 since marrying Surfer Pirate, and been engaged twice to guys I didn't marry. What's that tell you?), and had no problem with getting married young.

Spring Quarter had either just started or was about to start (back then, my school was on a quarterly system rather than doing semesters), and I was having to face the fact that I was almost done with what college I could afford. I wanted to continue, but didn't know how or when that could happen.

As much as I loved school, I was homesick. All of my roommates (6 of us in an apartment-style dorm) were within just a few short hours of home and could take off for the weekend if they wanted to. I was 9 hours away with no car.

As I said before, I really didn't spend enough time making friends, so I was really lonely. I didn't have much for female friends to confide in, and males (either of the friend or boyfriend variety) weren't happening, despite my (sometimes quite pathetic) efforts.

All of those details = Recipe For Disaster

I was at a school dance. Dances meant guys, and I was all for that idea. I had my eye on this really cute guy with light brown hair down to his shoulders, and was trying to figure out how to get his attention. I was interrupted by a rather nerdy-looking skinny guy. He struck up a conversation with me, and I halfheartedly answered his questions while keeping one eye on my Target. Eventually, Mr Personality * asked if he could take me out some time and could he get my phone number. I gave it to him, hoping that now he would leave me alone and I could get back to trying to break the heart of the guy across the room.

*Seriously. Go look at that link. I swear the guy in that video HAD to have been modeled after him.

Never did get that cute guy's attention.

Meanwhile, Mr Personality called me right away. Free dinner? Sure. I'm in.

BIG mistake. Big. Huge.

From there, I'm not really sure what happened. I found myself in a serious relationship with this guy. As far as his good points: he drove a pretty nice car, owned his own house, had a good job, was taking college classes in computers, liked to garden, and had beautiful rosebushes. (I was a horticulture major. Those last two points meant a TON to me.) And he had state citizenship - meaning if we married, I would instantly qualify for in-state tuition, and I could continue going to school.

His bad points?

He was 12 years older than me. He was 30 when we started dating, but turned 31 shortly afterwards (I found out later my roommates called him Mr. 31 Flavors). He was NOT sexy -not even a little bit. Super-skinny, bad hair, and he had the lips of an 80 year old man. (He also dressed like an old man.) He had a weird way of "gardening". I swear he must have stood on one side of his garden and literally just thrown the seeds anywhere. There was no organization to it at all - random vegetables coming up everywhere. I helped him weed it one day and must have pulled up half his celery plants before I realized they were something he actually wanted in there. And those college classes he was taking? Turns out he was a career college student - had been in college non-stop for 10 years! He was also doing some sort of investment stuff that had to have been illegal based on his secrecy about it.

But he had two REALLY bad points.

He was a Hoarder. Back then, the term for it was Pack Rat. His house was FULL of piles of newspaper, gutted televisions and microwaves, bicycles, and TWO dressers full of those little tiny LED lights that they put in alarm clocks. There was stuff EVERYWHERE! He said everything was some project he was working on. Even without the classes and a full-time job, he wouldn't have been able to complete all of his "projects" in 60 years!

The second really bad point is what eventually ended the relationship. Once he'd brainwashed me into believing I was supposed to marry him, he started in with the emotional and verbal abuse. I was fat (I had a 22 inch waist at the time). I was worthless. He acknowledged that he wasn't a Great Catch, but I would never be able to get anyone better than him, so I may as well just stay with him. He convinced me that he'd been abused as a child (I don't buy it. His family was great), and he tried to get me to figure out who had abused ME. He said "abused people are always attracted to each other." (So THAT'S why he liked me, not because I was cute!) He tried to use my having been picked on in junior high as "proof" that I was a constant victim. (Seriously, who WASN'T picked on in junior high? Kids are horrible to each other at that age!)

And I bought into that crap.

This is what happens with you're lonely and desperate.

We had been eating a lot of salads made from all his fresh garden veggies. I hate radishes. Absolutely hate them. He was growing 3 or 4 different varieties of them, and always insisted in putting them in our salads. He got really mad if I would pick them out. Rather than fight with him, I would make sure I mixed them in with a bunch of other vegetables to mask their flavor a little. One day, I suddenly had this image of myself teaching my children how to do the same thing so they wouldn't upset their father. I realized I would be living in a world where it would be the kids and me against him - not a team. I didn't want to do that. I was willing to put up with being treated like crap, but I wasn't about to let that happen to my future children.

So I broke up with him.

Whew!

I've learned from that experience that when my body won't get warm no matter what I do, and I can't stop shivering, something is VERY WRONG. I ALWAYS shivered when he was around.

About a year later, I found out from my former roommates that Mr Personality had gotten himself into some trouble. Apparently, he had been charged with voyeurism. Some woman who lived a few blocks away from him had discovered a little electronic devise attached to her house. It was some sort of light sensor, and when the light would be turned on in her bedroom, an alarm would go off in his house. That would tell him it was time to go stand outside her house and watch her get undressed. It wasn't hard to track down who put the devise on her house - he'd carved his name on one of the pieces inside of it.

Dodged a bullet there, didn't I?

Live and Learn

2011-07-15T16:24:00.012-05:00

Once upon a time, I had a nice, big, overstuffed couch. Here it is back in better days in my old living room. (Man, that room looks HUGE now compared to my little 1903 sized rooms!) I got it used, paid $50 for it. It was the best couch. Soft and comfy, long, the perfect couch to stretch out and take a nap on.

I loved it.

But then I got this adorable little guy:
Look at that face! Doesn't that make you just want to snuggle and pet him and give him widdle kisses and wuvins and...

ahem.

Excuse me.

Anyway, in the process of bonding with him, I didn't see anything wrong with letting him hang out with me on the couch.

And then we got another puppy. She got the same treatment.

But then they took hanging out on the couch with us as permission to be on the couch ALL DAY LONG.

Laying on the couch turned to wrestling on the couch. Because that's what puppies do with each other - they play and wrestle.

After a while, my couch started to look like this:

See how shredded the upholstery is there?

It was also covered in fur, and no amount of vacuuming would fix that.

And it smelled like stinky feet.

Yeah.

Definitely the kind of place I want to have guests. Blech.

So the time came to accept the fact that the old couch had to go. We played around with the option of buying a new couch, but we're not quite ready to shell out that kind of money on furniture right now - especially since we have a very old fridge that "pees".

(Really makes you want to come hang out at my house, doesn't it? I know. But seriously, the rest of my house is really quite nice.)

But it turned out part of our surrogate family had a couch they wanted to get rid of. I have no problem with used. Like I said, my wonderful old couch was also a used couch.

In order to bring in the new couch, obviously, the old one had to move out. Last night, Surfer Pirate and I were supposed to move it. But he was exhausted from an especially trying day.

Never one to back down from a challenge, I told Surfer Pirate that if he would take the front door off the hinges, I would figure out how to get the couch out of the house on my own.

Did I mention this thing is 7 feet long?

So one person + big monster couch + doorways made in 1903 = not happening.

I thought to myself "If it weren't for the big backrest on this thing, it would work just fine.

And it's going to be burned out on the farm anyway."

So I got my hammer.

I started by prying off the upholstery from the back. Then I went after the upholstery on the backrest.

Peeled that all off to get to the inner framework, and started pounding out all the wood that held the back of the couch together.

No problem getting the thing out the door now!

Once I got it out the door, I gave it one good FLIP off the front porch:

*Notice only two of the feet have been removed. That's because the screws that held the other two feet on were completely stripped.

And there it lies in it's saddened state. It was a good couch.

But this is what happens to couches in my family when they make me mad.

Let that be a lesson with all other couches! Do NOT mess with me! I WILL find a way to move you!

It is also a lesson to me:

No more dogs allowed on the furniture.

Poo on Casio

2011-07-10T12:41:00.003-05:00

Surfer Pirate his hard on his phones. Being a mechanic, he's constantly climbing under vehicles and crawling around on the floor. His work is messy and fairly dangerous - especially for small electronic parts encased in plastic. He has to have a phone that stands up to that kind of environment.

He's recently replaced his "normal person" phone for a Casio Boulder. He's had a similar phone before, with good results. So when he found this one online for super-cheap (thank you ebay!) he snatched it up. (Good thing, because yesterday when checking again, they've tripled in price on there!)

But there's a problem.

As mentioned on several occasions, we live in Northern Middle of Nowhere, ND. We're not exactly discussed on most weather maps. We also sort of have our own little weather pocket here. Big nasty storms hit all around us, but miss us on a regular basis. We also get storms that no one around us gets. So watching the weather reports on the news or online usually will cover areas around us, but not actually our area. Since Surfer Pirate is not only a mechanic, but also a farmer, weather is a big deal. We've found that there is an application you can get on your cell phone that is fairly accurate for us here.

Except his new phone can't get it.

Apparently Casio failed to renew their application contract (or something to that effect).

So they suck.

I have a feeling I'm going to get lots of phone calls and text messages to check the weather for him.

Stupid Criminals and Gators

2011-07-09T10:23:00.002-05:00

It's another gator-related Stupid Criminal Saturday! This one comes from AOL.

Intoxicated Men Take Dead Alligator Off-roading

HOWELL, Mich. -- Authorities say three intoxicated men stole a 14-foot flattened and preserved alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and took it off-roading.

The Livingston County Daily Press & Argus reports that 55-year-old Douglas Ward of Linden, 60-year-old Roy Griffith of Linden and 53-year-old John Sanborn of Harrison are charged with breaking and entering.

The charges stem from a June 25 theft from a barn in Hartland Township, about 40 miles northwest of Detroit. Sheriff Bob Bezotte says the alligator's owner found tire tracks near his barn and followed them to a party in Deerfield Township where the men were driving their vehicles around in the mud.

The men are due in Livingston County District Court

Did you catch that? These three middle-aged men were charged with breaking and entering. That means they had to break in somewhere to get this alligator. Did they just randomly break into a house and find it, or did they already know it was there, having seen it before? Did the gator belong to a buddy and someone had the bright idea "That gator looks bored. We should take him off-roading!" Or did they decide he needed to be freed and taken to his natural habitat? So many questions, not enough answers.

Flashback Friday, July 8th Edition

2011-07-08T14:29:00.004-05:00

When I was a teenager in need of some cash to buy the important things of life (aka cheap sunglasses from Spencer's and snacks from the vending machines at school), I set out to get me a real job. My mother's rule was I had to find work somewhere within walking distance from our house so she could actually drive her own car from time to time and not be called on as a taxi service. I found myself walking down what's lovingly known as Fast Food Row in my home town, filling out applications. Eventually, I received a call to come in for an interview at Arby's. For my interview, I donned A SUIT. (Nothing like a 16 year old girl wearing a suit to a job interview at a fast food restaurant. Talk about over-kill! For the record, it was a very pretty suit.) I worked at Arby's for basically three years (minus the 9 months that I was out of state going to college).

I have MANY good memories from working there that could serve as good options for Flashback Friday.

But today, I'm going to talk about Wes*

*Name changed to protect The Crazy

Wes was in interesting guy. He was 30 years old, still living home with his mother, working fast food. He had one VERY distinctive trait. The SMELL. Wes ALWAYS smelled bad. We're talking body odor that would kill an elephant. One of the night managers told me that Wes only showered when he was about to go fishing. The joke being that he had to shower so he wouldn't scare the fish away. Sadly, I did learn this was pretty much true. He showed up on his day off one time to buy lunch before going fishing. And he was clean. When he came back to work after his fishing trip, he then had the lovely addition of fish smell to go with his body odor. I will never understand how he was allowed to come to work like that. Think about that. Someone who smelled that bad was allowed to handle people's food.

Blech.

But, Wes in general was a very sweet guy. Soft spoken and kind. Funny. The big teddy bear kind of guy.

And he was in love with me.

At first, I didn't believe everyone when they told me that. And then I started noticing that he did pay more attention to me than anyone else at work. And his eyes would sort of light up when he talked to me. It was flattering and creepy all at the same time.

Any doubt that I may have had was settled on Valentine's Day my senior year of high school. I came to work where I was greeted by Wes. He looked extra shy when he handed me the bouquet of roses that he'd bought for me. I still remember that there were 6 of them, and they were dark red and almost completely open. The blossoms were HUGE! It was so very sweet of him, and I'm not the kind who can just say Thank You and be done with it when a guy gives you flowers - especially roses. So I hugged him. I will admit I had to hold my breath a little, and my co-workers gave me grief about it for weeks, but I don't regret it. I know that hug probably made his day as much as the roses made mine.

My favorite animal is the rhino, and Wes knew this. When I graduated from high school, he gave me another present - two little ceramic rhinos. They were smiley and adorable. He told me that he was just going to get one, but they seemed like they were friends and he couldn't break them up. I was glad to hug him for them as well. I called them the Laughing Rhinos and took them to college with me. I kept them at eye level on my bookshelf where I could see them smiling at me every day. I still have them, and I think of him fondly every time I look at them.

I ran into Wes one day a couple years ago. I had stopped to buy gas on my way home from work, and he was working behind the counter. It was shortly after my miscarriage, so I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. It took me a minute to recognize him because he'd grown his hair out and had a beard (think Bob Ross from the Joy of Painting). A quick glance at his name tag verified that I was right. I was happy to see he was wearing a wedding ring. I hope his wife appreciates what a sweet guy he is.

And I hope she's taught him about soap and deodorant.

4th of July

2011-07-07T18:38:00.002-05:00

I've got to say that I really enjoy the 4th of July falling on a Monday. So instead of one day, we got a full weekend. This picture was taken while we were waiting for the parade to start on Monday afternoon.

When I was growing up, we always spent the 4th at my grandparents' house in Jackson Hole, WY. There were 15 of us cousins, and usually we would all be there. There were tons of people to spend time with and lots of different things to do. The time as a family for the 4th of July was definitely a highlight of my childhood. I always hoped that my children would be able to have similar experiences when they were growing up.

I only had one other sibling (not my mom's fault. She wanted 12 kids!), and she passed away before having children. Her husband remarried and they have a baby just older than Pirate Baby, but they live halfway across the country. My in-laws? Well... let's just say there's not much contact there.

It made me really sad to think that my children were never going to have the benefit of having lots of cousins to run around with as they were growing up.

And then we moved to North Dakota.

I never expected to have a whole family come out of our move. Surfer Pirate just had a friend. A friend who liked and respected him enough to ask him to move out here to help with his family's farm. I never expected that his family would accept us and consider us an extension of their own family. But they did.

Saturday night, we all gathered together at the farm - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows (S'mores... mmmmmmm.....), went for a "hayride" (no hay) behind the tractor, there were 4-wheelers, and tons of fireworks.

It was everything I could have hoped for for my kids.

And they do this every summer.

And people wonder what would possess me to WANT to move to Northern Middle of Nowhere, ND.

Another One Because I Like Them

2011-07-02T10:19:00.003-05:00

Another picture of Pirate Baby because he's just too adorable.

I love me a good meme.

4 Things I Did 10 Years Ago (2001)
1. Moved the heck out of Utah before the insanity of the Winter Olympics
2. Became a Football Mom (gotta love being the mom of teenagers before I was 30!)
3. Moved into the Duplex From Hell, complete with slumlord-type landlord
4. Found out my (now ex-)husband was a big fat cheater (yeah, THAT was a fun weekend)

4 Things I Did 5 Years Ago (2006)
1. Officially adopted my beautiful little girl
2. Had the privilege of raising her gorgeous little sister for a while
3. Became a grandmother at age 30! (yikes!)
4. Dealt with more crap from my (now ex-)husband

* Obviously, those were unpleasant times in my life. Happily they're over, and the last 4 years have been great!

4 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Slept in on accident because the baby slept, and slept, and slept!
2. Made the doggies a bed on the floor out of blankets. (I'm in process of training them to stay off the old couch before we move the new one in - they've trashed the old one)
3. Made super yummy roast for supper
4. Made dough for my first batch of homemade donuts to be cooked this morning

4 Things I've Done/Am Doing Today
1. Made ultra super yummy donuts
2. Lots of laundry going on today
3. Hopefully making my new nursing bracelet if my number beads show up in today's mail
4. Joining the (surrogate) family for our big 4th of July celebration on the farm tonight

Movie Meme Day 30

2011-06-30T13:50:00.003-05:00

Your Favorite Movie (or in this case, MovieS) of All Time

Was there really any question?

Trapped

2011-06-30T13:35:00.003-05:00

Why yes, he DOES sleep with his eyes open a lot. Why do you ask?

This little guy has been having a tough time lately. Sleep is not something that's going very well for him. Last week, there were a couple of nights that he wouldn't sleep for more than a half hour unless he was in my arms. Surfer Pirate works FAR too many hours to have his sleep interrupted, so off to the guest room this tiny person and I went.

Thankfully, there were only a couple nights of that, but the nap issue has been a problem for a while now. His naps are so sporadic lately. Some days, he'll nap for HOURS, and nothing will bother him. But most days lately, I'm lucky if he'll be out for 5 minutes. It's frustrating, and it means that some days I get nothing done.

Today has been one of those days. So here it is, early afternoon, and he's FINALLY asleep. He's been fussy for a couple of hours. He had just eaten, so I know that wasn't the problem. He just refused to settle down, and everything made him mad. So I finally just laid him on his stomach on my lap with a spit-rag under him (I've been burned before, I've learned my lesson). I had the fan pointed at us so it's much cooler where we're sitting. Then I started rubbing his back gently. Eventually, his cries turned to whimpers, the whimpers to soft sighs, then quiet. And then he was out.

Whew!

But now I'm afraid if I move him off my lap and try to get something done, he'll wake up.

So here I sit.

Good thing I already got my house really clean yesterday because we had guests. It may be a while before I'm able to get anything else done today. There's laundry and some dishes to do, but they'll wait.

My baby is sleeping.

Peaceful

2011-06-30T00:38:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite memories from my childhood involved my dad, crickets and stars.

It was a nice cool summer night. I couldn't have been more than 5 years old. My dad was laying on one of those lounge chairs made out of woven plastic tubing (Hello 70's!) on our back patio. He put me on his lap, and I leaned back against him. It was dark, the crickets were chirping, and the sky was full of stars. I remember feeling so special, having that little moment with my dad, being outside late at night when I should have been in bed. It was one of those moments when you just feel like everything is right in the world.

As cities grow and more people move in, all the lights from all the houses and all the streetlights and all the yard lights block out so many of the stars. Through the years, I watched the stars fade over my house. It was sad. Whenever I would get the chance to be in a more rural area late at night, I would take advantage of the opportunity to see more stars.

(Here's a little bit of good information: if you want to really see stars, go to the mountains in Montana. They're so close you feel like you could almost touch them. While I really do love our new home here in North Dakota, I miss mountains.)

I've developed a new little habit around here. Late at night, when everyone is asleep and the house is quiet, I make a point of stepping outside for a minute to look at the north sky. I'm waiting for the Northern Lights. One day my patience will pay off and I'll see them.

Tonight, when I stood on my porch, I noticed something very pleasant. It was silent outside. All I could hear was the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and my neighbor's air conditioner. Not a car, not a single person's voice, nothing. Just peace and quiet. Before we moved, there was always sound. We lived next to an apartment building, and it seemed like someone always had a TV on. There were always cars within hearing distance. People would be talking or even yelling somewhere in the neighborhood. And let's not even get into the antics of my drug-dealing neighbor down the street and his customers. (Wow, listing all that now, it sounds like I lived in a ghetto! I promise, my neighborhood was generally very safe and calm. Just a busy street only blocks away from an even busier street. And the drug dealer didn't live in the neighborhood for long.) But here tonight, there was absolutely nothing - not even a truck on the highway.

Quiet

Peaceful

Calm

So then I looked up at the sky. Stunning. Stars everywhere! But there's a really bright street light on the corner, and it was messing with my view. So I went out to the lawn to lie down in the grass in the shadow of my lilac bush. The stars were beautiful! Just the way I remember them being that night I was on that lounge chair with my dad all those years ago. (I even think I may have been able to see the Milky Way, but all the bright street lights on my block made it hard to tell.) I felt like everything was right with the world all over again.

It was so perfect tonight. If it weren't for the mosquitoes, I would have just grabbed a blanket and a pillow and slept out there all night under the stars.

Is it too much to ask for a power outage in the neighborhood? Just for a couple of minutes so I could see if that really was the Milky Way I saw.

Movie Meme Day 29

2011-06-29T23:52:00.002-05:00

A Movie From Your Childhood

I have an odd attachment to the Dark Crystal. First off, it's a Jim Hensen movie, and as far as I'm concerned the man could do no wrong. Love him, love him, love him. No matter how long it's been since I've last seen it, I can always hear the low drone of the Mystics as they trudge along, and the high-pitched screeching of the Skeksis in all their vulture-like glory.

One day, I even want to get a little dog and name it after a character in the movie. It has to be a little dog, ferocious, with poofy hair. I'm thinking something like a Yorkie, but I'll keep the hair longer than people usually do with Yorkies. And I'm going to name it Fizzgig.

And if I find out anyone has stolen my dog idea, I'll have to hurt you.

Movie Meme Day 28

2011-06-28T22:57:00.001-05:00

Favorite Movie From Your Favorite Director

John Hughes was amazing. I think he's more well known for being a director, but he contributed much more as a writer. His movies were so real and so funny and even thought-provoking at times. Of the movies he's directed, Breakfast Club is definitely my favorite.

Having to pick from the long list of ones he wrote, now that's a tougher decision.

Movie Meme Day 27

2011-06-28T22:54:00.004-05:00

Oops. I missed another day.

A Movie That You Wish You'd Seen in Theaters

This is one of several classic movies I wish I could watch on the big screen. Can you imagine how beautiful all those colors would be in a theater? And think about how creepy the flying monkeys would be! (Although I have to admit, I always found the witches guards to be scarier.)

Movie Meme Day 26

2011-06-26T20:28:00.002-05:00

A Movie You Love That Everyone Else Hates

Napoleon Dynamite is one of those movies that basically people either love or hate. I'm in the first category. This movie is just plain silly and absurd, and that's what I love the most about it.

I think it helps that it was filmed in Preston, Idaho. I've actually been there. Let me tell ya. It's a hoppin' place!

Movie Meme Day 25

2011-06-26T20:20:00.002-05:00

I'm back! I obviously need to get back in my groove of blogging every day because I missed yesterday. So here is yesterday's post a day late:

The Most Hilarious Movie You've Ever Seen

This is one of those questions like the word "favorite". It's tough to have to decide on one. So I went with a movie that makes me giggle all the way through. Role Models. I will warn you that it's a little raunchy - in case you don't like that kind of humor. But if you don't mind that, I highly recommend watching this one.

Movie Meme Day 24

2011-06-16T14:31:00.004-05:00

That One Awesome Movie Idea That Hasn't Been Done Yet

I would like to see this movie done right.

You know, actually BASED on the book.

I really loved the book. I thought it was well-written, and the author worked really hard at making it mesh with Gone With the Wind. I enjoyed where she took it and how she made Scarlett mature.

This movie? The acting wasn't great, but what do you expect from a made-for-tv movie? The problem is out of nowhere, they have Scarlett framed for murder.

Uhhhhhhh... WHAT?????

Yeah, no. That never happened in the book.

So I would like to see this movie made with really good acting and actually following the book. It would be a really good movie.

Movie Meme Day 23

2011-06-16T14:28:00.003-05:00

Favorite Animation

It's tough having to decide which is my favorite - Beauty and the Beast or Cinderella. I love them both so dearly. This was sort of a coin toss.

Movie Meme Day 22

2011-06-16T14:13:00.002-05:00

Favorite Documentary

This movie is not for the weak of heart. You WILL sob your heart out. I can't describe why a lot of people might not want to watch without spoiling the story.

If you feel brave, this is completely worth the watch. But make sure you have a whole box of Kleenex with you.

Movie Meme Day 21

2011-06-16T14:07:00.004-05:00

Favorite Action Movie

Fast and Furious

The Fast and the Furious was great. I loved it. Then there were sequels. I liked them as well. But they were missing my favorite character - Dom.

So in this one, Dom is back. I think that's my favorite part - just that he's back. :)

Movie Meme Day 20

2011-06-16T14:02:00.003-05:00

Favorite Movie From Your Favorite Actor/Actress

Again, we're on that "favorite" thing. So I chose the actress I've loved for the longest time - Marilyn Monroe.

How to choose a favorite Marilyn movie?

I went with the one that was the most fun. Plus, my sister's favorite actress is in this one as well - Lauren Bacall.

Movie Meme Day 19

2011-06-16T13:52:00.002-05:00

Favorite Movie Based On a Book

I had seen this movie long before I even knew it was a book. It's a really interesting movie. Good acting, good storyline. I really liked it.

Then one day, I was roaming around the classics section of a bookstore, I discovered the book. I bought it, and was happy to see that the movie follows the book really well.

Movie Meme Day 18

2011-06-16T13:44:00.003-05:00

A Movie You Wish More People Would Have Seen

I love Nia Vardalos. She's just too funny.

Toni Collette is also really funny.

Here we have the two of them dressed like drag queens. Singing show tunes. While hiding from the mob.

How can this NOT be a great movie?

Seriously, you need to see this one.

Movie Meme Day 17

2011-06-16T13:31:00.002-05:00

A Movie That Disappointed You the Most

I love this book.

This movie was a depressing, horrible representation of a nightmare based on this book.

And I'll quit there before I rant too much.

Movie Meme Day 16

2011-06-16T13:18:00.002-05:00

A Movie That You Used to Love But Now Hate

When I was a kid, my dad used to record movies for us all the time off HBO. He recorded this one for us around the time that I was really into unicorns. I watched this movie over and over and over.

I can't say for sure that I hate this movie now - I haven't seen it since I was maybe 12 or so. But I seriously hate anime, so I'm assuming that it would drive me crazy now.

Changes Are In Order

2011-06-16T13:00:00.003-05:00

My cable box is annoying. It resets itself on a regular basis, the guide doesn't work right, and the dvr randomly deletes things or just records what it wants to.

We're tired of fighting with it. We had an issue this week that got us thinking that maybe it's just time to go with a different company now.

So we made the phone calls to make the changes, and the new company won't be out until next Friday to hook us up.

Which puts us in a tricky spot. We're not willing to pay both companies right now, so we will be without internet for about a week.

I may go through withdrawals.

So I'm going to do my movie posts through next Friday. Read one a day if you would like to pretend that I'm still here.

Try not to miss me too much. :)

Movie Meme Day 15

2011-06-15T14:15:00.003-05:00

A Character Who You Can Relate to the Most

After the ex left, I would swear my life had just walked straight out of this movie. I went through so many of the same things that Birdee did in the movie - except I didn't have to get in the car and drive halfway across the country to get home. I already WAS home - living in the house I'd grown up in. I just didn't have my mom there with me (wish I had). I even ended up dating a guy who I'd known since childhood - although I didn't end up with him.

I haven't found a movie role that really fits where my life is now. But I can definitely say there was a time in my life when I WAS Birdee Pruitt from Hope Floats.

Movie Meme Day 14

2011-06-14T10:09:00.002-05:00

A Movie That No One Would Expect You to Love

I'm not a very big fan of horror movies. There are some that I like, but for the most part, they're just not my thing.

The Saw movies are where I make an exception. While they are VERY gory and graphic, I appreciate the concept behind them. The victims are bad people. Their destruction is based on their own choices. It's all very psychological, and I like that.

Movie Meme Day 13

2011-06-13T22:35:00.004-05:00

A Movie That Is a Guilty Pleasure

FLASH!!! Ahh-ahhhhhh!!

Flash Gordon from 1980. It's totally cheesey and dated, but I've loved it since I was a little kid. I will ALWAYS love it.

The One Where I Ramble

2011-06-12T22:33:00.005-05:00

Surfer Pirate has requested that his picture not appear on this blog. This is a really cute picture of both of my guys, but all you get to see of Surfer Pirate is his thumb (with lots of black gunk on it - that's what mechanic thumbs look like) and his shoulder. Feel privileged.

It wasn't until I took this batch of pictures yesterday that I realized that Pirate Baby's eyes really are a combination of both of our eyes. Surfer Pirate's eyes are light blue. They're gorgeous. My eyes were light brown when I was little, and they slowly changed to green. Depending on my mood and the outfits I wear, they're either green or brown. Pirate Baby's eyes are a darker blue with flecks of brown in them.

First of all, Pirate Baby has outgrown his cradle (little tear), which means he's had to move into his own room so he can sleep in his crib. The little rockstar has transitioned beautifully, and even slept all the way through the first night! And now, he's even content to hang out in his crib and take naps in there during the day.

Second, I feel the need to announce that Spring Seeding is done on the farm!!! Yay!! That means I get to actually see my husband for more than five minutes at a time!

That's good because we've got some fun things planned for this summer.

Part of our surrogate family has reserved a campsite at a beautiful lake every weekend this summer, and we'll go out there with them at least one of those weekends. With our new (to us) boat. Yep. We have a boat. How do we have a boat? We traded for it. Surfer Pirate traded his dirtbike so we could have a boat. He rocks. But we already knew that. We need to make a trip to Montana so both of our dads can meet their new grandson. And we were just talking about taking a trip to Minneapolis for the sole purpose of eating at White Castle. 'Cause we're cool like that. But you knew that too.

Surfer Pirate and I had a conversation tonight that was a type we haven't had in a while. Finances. It's still stressful, but much better than we were dealing with a year ago. Based on how things are going, we should be all caught up on the major things by the end of August! And once harvest is here, we'll be able to start chipping away at the other things so we can build our credit back up. We still have a way to go, but this move has made a huge difference.

Pirate Munchkin has neighborhood playmates! Our neighbor across the street has a granddaughter who will be 7 in September and a grandson who is 4. They're staying with her for the next week, and we've already had some playtime. I'm sure there will be lots more during the rest of the week. When I was little, we had friends in my grandparent's neighborhood who we played with every summer. I'm glad Pirate Munchkin is going to get summer playmates as well. She also has swimming lessons starting on Monday.

I have flowers in my yard! I walked through the yard with the previous owner last week, and she was able to tell me what many of the plants are. I need to get out and take pictures to post here. I'll try to do that in the next day or two.

Movie Meme Day 12

2011-06-12T19:50:00.002-05:00

A Movie That You Hate

I generally can't stand Will Ferrell, but John C. Reilly is funny sometimes. I had heard this movie was hysterical, so I watched it with an open mind.

yeah

That's 98 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

According to imdb.com, this movie cost around $65 million to make. Seriously??? It takes that much money to make a movie about two idiot 40-something guys acting like 12 year olds??

Not funny.

Just stupid.

Movie Meme Day 11

2011-06-11T12:54:00.003-05:00

A Movie that Changed Your Mind About Something

This topic bugged me for days. I couldn't think of anything. I was trying to think of a movie that made me realize that some kind of social or moral belief of mine was wrong. I know there have been movies that made me change my mind about something poignant, but I couldn't think of any.

So I'm just going with a movie that changed my mind about an actor.

I used to hate Edward Norton. With a passion. Couldn't stand him - even when he dated Salma Hayek (who I ADORE). I didn't respect him as a person, so I couldn't respect him as an actor.

And then Surfer Pirate talked me into watching American History X.

And you know what?

Edward Norton is a REALLY good actor. And now I respect him (or, at least his acting).

Movie Meme Day 10

2011-06-11T12:47:00.002-05:00

Oops. I missed a day. Yesterday got away from me.

Day 10: Favorite Classic Movie

This one is a no-brainer. Gone With the Wind. No question. There are lots of classic movies that I adore, but none even come close to this one. I probably watched this movie 20 times when I was about 11. I pretty much have it memorized. I even have a Southern Belle gown that I made - complete with hoop skirt. It's a very Melanie Hamilton kind of dress, and I love it.

Movie Meme Day 9

2011-06-09T11:54:00.003-05:00

A Movie With the Best Soundtrack

Today, I am going to take the opportunity to vent about one of my major pet peeves. When I'm watching a movie and every stinkin' song in the movie makes me want to get up and dance in the aisles of the theater, I had better be able to march myself to my favorite music-buying-place-of-choice and pick up the soundtrack. How great is it to find the soundtrack on the shelves! Then, you turn the cd over and look at the song list. And instead of seeing the actual songs in the movie, you see nothing but original musical score.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!

In the case of The Ugly Truth, songs like Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold", "Everybody Got Their Something" by Nikka Costa, Flo Rida's "Right Round" and all the amazing Latin music that's in this movie are NOT on the soundtrack. Instead, the titles on the soundtrack are things like "Abby & Mike in L.A." and "Earpiece".

Okay, I understand that there are people who really appreciate musical scores. And that's great for them. But I think if they're going to release a soundtrack with just score on it, they should also release a separate soundtrack with all the actual songs featured in the movie.

So unless you want to build your own soundtrack from internet downloads (something I actually did with the movie Fools Rush In because it never had ANY soundtrack released), you'll just have to watch The Ugly Truth to get the fun stuff.

Be sure to wear your dancing shoes.

Movie Meme Day 8

2011-06-08T11:04:00.002-05:00

A Movie You've Seen Countless Times

XXX

...'cause... yeah...

Have you SEEN Vin Diesel in this movie???

And there's a gorgeous car.

(And yes, this movie is the reason why my dream car is a 1967 GTO.)

And it's a great action flick.

And Vin Diesel...

So... um... yeah... I've seen this movie A LOT.

Movie Meme Day 7

2011-06-07T22:58:00.002-05:00

The Most Surprising Plot Twist or Ending

Pretty much the whole time watching Seven Pounds, I was completely confused with what was going on. I could not for the life of me figure out what he was doing. And then the end came and HOLY CRAP!!! I sobbed. I blubbered. Then, I was haunted by it for weeks.

My library has this one. I considered picking it up today, but I just couldn't handle it right now. But I think I'll watch it again soon. It will be interesting to see what different things I see in it when I actually know how it's going to end.

Movie Meme Day 6

2011-06-06T11:15:00.002-05:00

Favorite Made for TV Movie

This one is EASY!! Hands down The Phantom of the Opera from 1990 with Teri Polo (Pam in the Meet the Parents movies). I LOVED this movie. My sister and I recorded it and watched it over and over and over. It's not the classic Andrew Lloyd Webber version, totally different music, and the opera they are performing in the movie is Faust. And thanks to this meme, it's now on my Amazon Wish List - imported from Korea. Thank you Koreans for putting it on DVD for me since my home-recorded VHS has long-since died.

Cheap Entertainment

2011-06-05T12:51:00.003-05:00

I'd swear I've already talked about this a little, but I can't find where. Forgive me if part of this sounds familiar.

There's been something funny floating around the internet the last few days. My facebook friends have possibly already seen it because I linked to it yesterday. First, pop over to this blog to see what I'm talking about.

I'll give you a minute.

{Jeopardy music plays in the background.}

Okay, are you back?

That's my kind of parent right there! Gotta love a man who goes through that much trouble just to embarrass the snot out of his teenager.

When I was in junior high, my dad was always willing to walk around the mall with us. I didn't understand until I found myself the step-mom to teenage boys during my first marriage.

Guess what?

Embarrassing your children is insanely FUN!!

Picture two teen boys, 15 and 17, stuck riding around in the boringly tan family minivan. It was the color of dirt. (For the record, I HATED that car. I got talked into buying it by the ex.) For once, I had given in and let them listen to their favorite radio station. Much to my surprise, the station started playing Sr Mix-a-Lot's song Baby Got Back. I will never forget the looks of horror on their faces when I proceeded to sing along. I knew Every. Single. Word. to that song, and even knew when the whip sounds happen. It still goes down in history as my favorite Child Embarrassment moments. (So far, I'm sure I'll find many more ways to scar my own children for life as the years go by.)

But the prize still goes to my best friend's mom for one extra memorable day in 8th grade. My mom was a teacher, and had to leave the house much sooner than I did in the mornings. Since my house was on the way to the junior high from B's house, her mom would pick me up on the way. At the time, she was driving what can only be described as The World's Ugliest Station Wagon. Not only was it a station wagon in a time when that was the uncoolest thing ever, but it had an exceptionally horrible body design. And it was the color of split pea soup. Keep in mind that 8th grade is one of the most uncomfortable age groups on the planet (my mom always referred to 8th grade students as "pukes"). B and I would do our best to hide so that we wouldn't be subject to the ridicule of having to arrive in that horrifying beast. On top of all that, one lovely morning, B and her mom picked me up and I discovered three additional terrifying details. #1, the entire back, plus all but enough room on the back seat for me was full of black garbage bags full of cans. #2, B's mom was wearing curlers. #3, she was also wearing pink plaid bell-bottom pants. Why oh why couldn't I be sick that day??? But then B would have had to deal with that nightmare by herself and I was not about to put her through that.

So yeah.

B's mom wins the prize for that one.

I'm still scarred.

Excuse me while I go hide in a dark corner with the shakes.

Movie Meme Day 5

2011-06-05T09:41:00.003-05:00

Favorite Love Story in a Movie

First of all, "favorite" is a word I don't care for much. When it comes to movies, books, foods, etc. I can't choose a favorite. There are just too many good ones. But I love that my movie collection is big enough I can just stand in front of my dvd shelf for inspiration for these daily topics.

So for a love story in a movie that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I choose Lettie and Orlando from Tortilla Soup. It's such a sweet story. He's the new baseball coach, she's a teacher. Her classroom window looks out over where he coaches. They've seen each other around, but they're both a little unsure how to get something going. So her students step in and make the move for them - leaving romantic poetry in her classroom, making it look like they're from him. Eventually the truth comes out, feelings are hurt, and it all works out in the end.

I also have another favorite romance in that movie, but you'll have to just watch the movie to figure out which one it is.

And just a little warning, this movie will make you VERY hungry!

Yay for Saturday!!

2011-06-04T15:16:00.002-05:00

Thanks to this website for the awesome gator pic.

This one is courtesy of my mom. She sent me this article and I had to save it to post today. :) The article came from here.

Cops in Independence shoot gator, find out it's lawn ornament

INDEPENDENCE, Mo. • Police responding to an alligator sighting in a suburban Kansas City pond took quick action to dispatch the big reptile.

It wasn't until after the second rifle shot bounced off the beast Sunday that the three Independence officers realized it was a concrete lawn ornament.

Independence police spokesman Tom Gentry says the department received a call from a man who said a gator had been spotted in the woods.

Gentry says the alligator was in the weeds near a tree by a pond and it looked real. An officer shot the gator twice in the head - per instructions from a conservation officer - before realizing it wasn't moving.

Gentry says the landowner told officers he put the fake gator there to keep children off his property.

Some crotchety old men sit on their front porch with rifles. Some apparently put fake alligators on their lawns. OK.

Movie Meme Day 4

2011-06-04T14:27:00.003-05:00

A Movie That Makes You Sad

The Pianist definitely fits that category. I have always been fascinated by World War II. I'm amazed by the way people mistreat each other. Here was an entire war based on the hatred that a few people in positions of power managed to heap on the heads of entire countries. It's a complete travesty, and I'm stunned that it managed to happen. In this movie, on top of all the horrible things he watches happening around him, he then ends up completely alone. He's hiding, afraid of death at every turn, and starving to death. At one point, he finds food, but it's in a can and there is no can opener. The desperation as he tries to figure out how to get the can open takes my breath away. The whole movie makes me very sad.

Movie Meme Day 3

2011-06-03T16:48:00.003-05:00

A Movie That Makes You Really Happy

Italian Job. I watch this movie every few months. Not only do we get the lovely eye-candy of Mark Wahlberg and Jason Statham, but there are fast cars, lots of action, and revenge on a particularly nasty villain. It's just plain fun.

Movie Meme Day 2

2011-06-02T13:43:00.005-05:00

Today's topic is: the most underrated movie.

When I was a kid, I really got into old, classic, black-and-white movies. I used to watch the classic movie channels all the time. One day, I stumbled on The Enchanted Cottage. Made in 1945, starring Robert Young and Dorothy McGuire. It's a wonderful movie about how love can make what is unattractive beautiful.

About Stinkin' Time!

2011-06-02T11:25:00.005-05:00

When the Octo-Mom fiasco hit the news, I had just had a miscarriage. The insanity of the whole situation was especially upsetting to me at the time. I saw her as being extremely selfish. I had already gone through a stage in my years of infertility where I felt like anyone having more than two kids had "filled their quota" and needed to give the rest of us a chance. (What can I say? I was a little insane during part of my infertility.)

Anyway, the point of my rambling is that I took the whole Octo-Mom thing VERY personally.

Not only was I mad at her, but I was mad at the crazy doctor who allowed her to even get into that situation.

Looks like he's finally gotten himself in trouble for it. (The article is really long, so I'll edit it down a little, and include my own comments throughout. The bold highlights were added by me. You can read the whole article here.)

LOS ANGELES — California medical officials revoked the license of the fertility doctor who helped "Octomom" Nadya Suleman become the mother of 14 children through repeated in vitro treatments, according to a decision made public Wednesday.

The Medical Board of California said it was necessary to revoke Dr. Michael Kamrava's license to protect the public. The revocation takes effect July 1.

The Beverly Hills fertility doctor has acknowledged implanting 12 embryos into Suleman prior to the pregnancy that produced her octuplets. It was six times the norm for a woman her age.

That was a mistake, according to the board.

Uhhhhh.... REALLY??

In practice, fertility doctors avoid mega-births, as high number multiple births are sometimes called, because the process can put the mother at risk for serious complications and death. Crowding in a mother's uterus could also result in premature birth, cerebral palsy, developmental delays or other health problems for the babies.

Did you catch that? Too many babies in the womb at a time can kill, or seriously injure mother and babies.

With a tearful apology, Kamrava testified at his hearing last year that he implanted Suleman with 12 embryos because she consented to undergoing fetal reduction if too many of the babies became viable.

Kamrava said that months passed after the treatment, and he never heard from her, despite efforts to contact her. He says he only heard from Suleman again after the babies were born.

The "tearful apology" really gets me here.

I've known quite a few women who've been through in-vitro, and I believe the standard is 2 embryos at a time, MAYBE three under special circumstances. He saw nothing wrong with implanting TWELVE embryos in a woman?? Let alone a single mom who already had six kids at home! How many did he think were going to work???

The state also found that Kamrava was negligent in the care of two other patients — a major factor in the decision to revoke his license.

Oh dear. Brace yourselves.

Kamrava was found to have implanted seven embryos in a 48-year-old patient, resulting in quadruplets. One fetus died before birth.

Kamrava said at his hearing that he recommended four embryos be implanted, but he implanted seven because the patient insisted.

So, what we're seeing here is either a guy who doesn't like to accept responsibility for his actions, or a big weenie who gets bullied into unethical behavior by his patients. Which do YOU think is more likely?

In another case, Kamrava went ahead with in vitro fertilization after tests detected atypical cells, which can indicate the presence of a tumor. The patient was later diagnosed with stage-three cancer and had to have her uterus and ovaries removed before undergoing chemotherapy.

I've had a pap smear come back with atypical cells before. It was taken VERY seriously because that can be a sign of cancer. While in my case, it was fine, in her case, it was severe! Instead of taking it as seriously as he should have, sending her to a specialist for further testing, he went ahead with the procedure anyway. And WHY didn't he send her to that specialist?

Kamrava said he should have referred her to a gynecological oncologist but simultaneous to her treatment, news broke about Suleman's octuplets and he became too distracted to follow up the patient's care.

Excuse me???

Okay, when my sister died and I was distracted by all of that, I forgot to pay some bills. But this guy, in the media spotlight over another of his stupid decisions, NEGLECTED to check on a patient over a life or death situation!! That's just a teeny tiny bit more important than forgetting to pay the electric bill, you know what I mean?

In February, a judge recommended the board put Kamrava on five years of probation, but the ultimate licensing decision belonged to the board. Citing negative publicity surrounding Suleman's case, the judge had said it was unlikely Kamrava would make similar mistakes again.

Seriously? I could see putting him on probation for having an unfortunate situation from implanting maybe 4 embryos. But we're talking about multiple times, with excessive numbers and complete lack of ethical behavior.

The board "adamantly" disagreed with that assessment, saying the doctor had already used bad press as an excuse for failing to care properly for the fertility patient who should have been referred to a cancer specialist.

"Accordingly, the board is not persuaded that relying on the public or the media to fulfill or supplement the board's public protection role is sound policy," the decision reads.

Good for them! Thank goodness they had the sense to revoke his license. It's just too bad it took them so long. How many women could he have harmed in the last couple years?

A Month of Movies

2011-06-01T11:13:00.006-05:00

In looking for different ideas for my Movie Monday posts, I came across a 30 Day Movie Meme that looked like fun. I've wanted to do a 30 day post project for a while. Since I love movies so much, I decided this was a good choice for me.

So Here's Day One:

The Best Movie You Saw During the Last Year

While I don't get to the theater very often anymore, I do watch a LOT of movies. So, there are a lot of really good choices for this answer. I had to ask myself what movie I REALLY enjoyed. I could think of some good dramas, some good romance movies, but none of those seemed to be the right fit. But then I thought of comedies. By far, the best comedy I saw in the last year was this one:
If you haven't seen it yet, you need to. It's hysterical.

Mushrooms

2011-05-31T10:31:00.003-05:00

My yard had a lot of shrubs and trees in it when the last owners bought it. They went through a lot of work taking those out and putting in beautiful grass.

With all the rain we've had lately, it's pretty obvious where all the old plants used to be.

Mushrooms are a symptom of an underlying issue. When you have mushrooms in your lawn, it usually means there are old roots, tree stumps, etc. under your lawn that are rotting away. Mushrooms are ugly, but they are beneficial. They feed off that rotting material, breaking it down - helping the decomposition.

You can look at those mushrooms and see ugliness. Or, you can choose to see them for their good.

Very much like life.

We all have our underlying issues - those tough things we've been through in life that can rot away at us.

My parents split up when I was 6 years old. My dad has a lot off issues that have affected my life. I dated a couple of abusive guys in my younger years. My first marriage was far from happy. I went through 8 1/2 years of infertility, lost my sweet foster-baby, finally got pregnant 2 months after marrying Surfer Pirate, just to lose the baby at 7 weeks. And on top of all that, I lost my beloved only sibling and my wonderful step-father when they were much too young.

When we grieve and have sorrow, it shows. Crying causes your face to be red and puffy. Your eyes can have bags under them. Smiles are hard to come by. Your shoulders droop. A lot of times you'll choose to wear baggy, comfortable clothes rather than looking stylish. You might walk a little slower. Like mushrooms growing in a lawn, these are all signs of what lingers under the surface.

But grieving is a good thing. Tears are cleansing. If we allow ourselves to deal with the pains in our lives, we can progress past them. Sorrow is a natural part of life. People will do things that hurt us. Loved ones die. But through these experiences, we can learn how to enjoy the good things we have in life. We can cling tighter to the people who are important to us. We can have empathy for others when they grieve the things in their lives.

Our sorrows and struggles actually make us better people. Through our sorrows, we can have even better lives.

We also have to learn that it takes time. I know that it will take many years for the mushrooms in my yard to get through all those old roots and things under my lawn. When challenges come into my life, I know it will take time to get through them. Do I still mourn my sister? Of course. Do I still have problems stemming from a difficult first marriage? Absolutely. Do I still even sometimes deal with issues I have that started when I was 6 and my parents split up? Sometimes, I do.

But I choose to let those things make me a better person. I have more love in my heart for others. I value the blessings I have in my life. I take the hard things that have happened to me and learn from them.

And I know that some days, it's okay to let the mushrooms show.

A Match Made In... uh... SOMEwhere.

2011-05-29T23:24:00.002-05:00

I have a warped sense of humor.

I'm not afraid to admit it.

And I find really random weird things in the middle of the night.

I'm especially loopy in the middle of the night. Which means funny things are THAT much funnier.

About a year ago I think, I came across a very weird collection of videos that made me laugh until I cried. They're completely warped. Periodically, I've re-watched them, and I laugh just as hard every time.

I didn't mention them to Surfer Pirate because I was just sure he would think they were dumb.

I had been watching them again a few days ago, and I made some reference to it to him. I finally showed him the video, and I was stunned when he laughed just as hard as I do to them!

I should have known.

He's warped and twisted just like me.

We're so meant to be together.

In case you want to see what I'm talking about, here it is. (I'm simplifying things by using the clip that's all four parts combined in one.)

Delayed Monday

2011-05-24T09:25:00.004-05:00

In my attempts to try to blog more often, I'm trying to work on my daily theme idea. I've done a couple Flashback Fridays, and of course, the well-loved Stupid Criminal Saturday. This week, I was going to introduce Movie Monday, but my mom is here and we were too busy shopping and spending time together during the day to get to it. Then, Surfer Pirate and I took advantage of the free babysitting to actually GO to a movie last night! (Fast Five. We both loved it, and realized we haven't actually been to a movie together since the LAST of the Fast and Furious movies was in theaters!)

So here's the post I would have done yesterday if I'd had time. Pardon me if it seems a bit scattered, I'm not all that focused today.

First of all, I have to start by addressing B Movies. Somehow, watching them became sort of the "thing" my sister and I would do. It began with watching USA Up All Night when we were in junior high and high school. Every weekend, we would stay up late and watch horribly bad movies. The only one I remember is still a classic in my head (and is currently on my Netflix list). Hello MaryLou: Prom Night 2. It was so bad it was funny! We giggled our way through the whole thing.

Somewhere in there, we also discovered Mad Movies. These were done by a small group of people who would take old movies, rearrange the movie clips, and then do voice-overs, completely changing the story. They were hysterical! Our very favorite was the Shirley Temple version of The Little Princess. In the process of getting my ideas together for this blog post, I actually found it on Youtube! Here's Part 1 and Part 2.

And then, we definitely can't forget Mystery Science Theater 3000!! (aka: MST3K) They would take horrible old movies and watch them with you, making all the fun snarky comments that you always want to make during crazy movies. My favorite was when they would throw in clips from old 50's hygiene filmstrips. Here's a good one.

I found a meme I want to do about movies:

Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times
Gone With the Wind. I think I saw it more than 10 times within just a couple of years when I was about 11 and 12. I LOVE that movie. When I was a girl, of course, I wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara. But as and adult, I'd much rather be Melanie Hamilton.

Name a film that you've seen multiple times in the theater
I think the only one I've seen in a theater more than once was ET. For whatever reason, my sister wasn't with us when my dad took me to see it the first time. She was upset that she'd missed it, so the next week, we went again.

Name an actor who would make you more inclined to see a film
Matt Damon, Vin Diesel, Robert DeNiro, Sandra Bullock

Name an actor who would make you less likely to see a film
Will Farrell, Tom Cruise, Molly Shannon

Name a film you can and do quote from
The Transformers movies. Surfer Pirate and I love them, and quote them to each other often, and I have a friend who he and I quote them to each other whenever one of us watches them. But I also commonly quote movies. My dad is a musician, and he has this thing where he can tie a song to almost any conversation. I do the same thing with movies.

Name a film musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I've seen this movie more times than I can count, and I practically have the whole MOVIE memorized. I've even seen it live in a theater. I was actually just singing the June Bride song to Pirate Munchkin last weekend.

Name a film that you would recommend everyone see
The Red Violin. That movie just speaks to my soul, and I think a lot of people don't even know about it. It's really good.

Ever walked out of a film?
Yep. The ex loved B Movie-type horror movies, and enjoyed taking the boys to them when they became teenagers. We saw a lot of good ones, but then we went to see House of 1000 Corpses. We only got through about 15 minutes of it when I insisted that we leave. Surfer Pirate actually really likes that movie, but he knows I will never, ever, ever watch it with him. Ick ick ick.

Name a film that made you cry in the theater
There's lots of them. The last one I saw in a theater (rather than at home) that made me cry was probably Enchanted. I took Pirate Munchkin to see it when I was recently divorced, and I cried at the happy ending - thinking about finding my own prince one day. (I found him!)

Popcorn?
Yes please. But no butter! I hate that nasty greasy crap. And no added salt either. Just give me a big bag of the plain ol' theater popcorn. Mmmmmmmmm...

How often do you go to the theater (as opposed to watching movies at home)
Not too often anymore. The ex and I used to go to the movies almost every Saturday, but Surfer Pirate isn't much for sitting in a theater. I have gone without him sometimes, but it's really tricky these days with a new baby. Our little town only has a one-screen theater, but it's super cheap, so I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot more movies once Pirate Baby is a little older.

What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Fast Five last night! Surfer Pirate didn't think he'd like it since The Rock was in it, but he was really surprised. He liked it a lot. I loved it - just like I knew I would.

What's your favorite/preferred genre of film?
Depends entirely on the movie. I'll watch just about anything.

What's the first film you remember seeing in the theater?
The Empire Strikes Back. My dad took us to see it at the drive-in. I remember sitting out the window of the car reading comic books on the roof before the movie started. I think I was 6.

What film do you wish you had never seen?
I've actually just seen two in the last couple weeks that I wish I could get those hours back from my life: Friends With Money and Where the Wild Things Are. Both were horribly depressing with hateful characters. The other one was The Exorsist. There are scenes in that movie that I will never be able to get out of my head.

What's the scariest film you've seen?
There have been quite a few good scary ones, so I'll just list the most recent. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I think because it's a Swedish film, you have to pay extra attention or you'll miss what's going on from the subtitles. Since I had to pay so much attention to it, I really got into it. There were several times during it that I was just sure someone was going to sneak up behind me and grab me!

If you could be any character portrayed in a movie, who would it be?
That's a tough one. The one that comes to mind right now is Jason Bourne in the Bourne Identity movies. He's not someone you want to mess with. And I really admire that even though he's been brainwashed to be a killer, his own sweet personality comes through when he loses his memory.

Total number of films you own on DVD and video
Oh my goodness! That would take a long time to count! I know last time I counted videos, I had about 180 of them, although some have come and gone since that time. My dvd collection is even bigger! So I would guess between 400-500 between DVD, VHS, and DVD's that I burned at home a few years ago.

Last film you bought
Both Alvin and the Chipmunks movies for Pirate Munchkin's birthday

Last film you watched
Fast Five

Five films that mean a lot to you
The Red Violin
The Diary of Anne Frank (1959 version)
Hope Floats
Fools Rush In
The Enchanted Cottage

My New Favorite

2011-05-22T23:36:00.002-05:00

I just love this picture.

Pirate Baby is starting to take a real interest in toys. It's really fun. He got this lamb from his grandma for Easter, and this is the first time he'd really played with it. I had it give him "kisses", which made him smile, then I put it in his lap and wrapped his arm around it. The lamb's nose was promptly pulled into Baby Pirate's mouth.

After holding it and gnawing on it for a minute, he looked up at me. I snapped the picture just in time.

The look on his face is so intense! It very clearly says "This is MY lamb!"

He's got quite the little attitude, doesn't he?