Late Nights and Sorrow

At the risk of feeling like my heart is breaking, I realize that if I am going to be myself on this blog, there is more to address than just the fun things.

I am the mother of an angel baby.

Far too many years of trying to conceive a child in my first marriage. Then, two and a half very short months into my wonderful marriage with Surfer Pirate, the most amazing news!! We were pregnant. I was so blissfully happy I could hardly stand myself. Surfer Pirate would kiss my belly and talk to the baby every single day.

Then, at 6 short weeks, we went in for an ultrasound. We were so excited! Our first chance to see our little baby. And the worst possible news. They couldn't find the baby. Two radiologists later, ultrasound both externally and internally. Nothing. My doctor had to be called into the office. Ironically, she was attending the funeral of a tiny little baby who had died of SIDS. She tried to give me hope while still preparing me for the impending miscarriage. I researched anything on the internet that would give me hope. I actually found an entire website dedicated to the subject of women who had been misdiagnosed with miscarriage and went on to have completely healthy babies. I knew it was probably the worst thing I could be doing with myself, but I had to have hope. I couldn't sit there and just wait with my devistated, broken heart. Seven days after that horrible ultrasound appointment, the miscarriage started.

So that was it. Essentially a decade of waiting and trying to get pregnant - gone in what felt like an instant.

And I was healing. I was doing better. I've even been seriously considering being done with my counselor visits. But I could never have prepared myself for this week.

The due date would have been this upcoming Friday.

I'm a mess.

Tonight, Surfer Pirate and I had a much-needed childless night. Pirate Munchkin is off with her dad. We were just hanging out and watching movies - a miracle in and of itself - getting Surfer Pirate to sit through ONE movie is tough enough, but I actually got TWO out of him!!! 2nd movie over, smoke break for him, bathroom break for me.

I didn't hear him come back in the house. I didn't hear him switch the TV over to satellite mode. All I heard was a baby crying. Loudly. It sounded like there was a baby crying on my front porch. I was completely frozen. Then, I heard one of his favorite shows on TV. The crying baby was on TV and he had just changed the channel. I stayed in the bathroom and sobbed for what must have been about 10 minutes. When I was eventually able to tell him what had just happened to me - why his wife who had been happy and laughing just 15 minutes earlier was now a blubbering mess, I said to him "That should have been our baby." He's so good to just hold me when I'm like that.

How am I going to get through this next week?

Name Explanations

In coming up with my pirate blog world, I will admit that my original names for the people and dogs in the household were not very creative. Surfer Pirate, Pirate Munchkin, and the dogs Pirate Dog, Pirate Puppy and Pirate Wench Puppy. I'm actually a little embarrassed at how simple the names are. I had to come up with names quickly since I was doing postings about them.

However, when it came to the cats, I was able to put a little more thought into it since they weren't immediately giving me post inspirations. I'm quite proud of what I've come up with, but they must seem a little strange. I feel the need to explain them:

Old Captain Paulsgrave - the blog name of my 12 year old Siamese mix cat. A wise old cat with a long, colorful history. I named him after Paulsgrave Williams who apparently became a pirate at the ripe old age of 38 - midlife crisis, perhaps? He was a silversmith (or goldsmith from one report) who left his wife, children and job to form a partnership with Samuel Bellamy. They started out as treasure hunters, but turned to piracy in the ultimate get-rich-quick-scheme.

Calico Jackia - the blog name for my 9 year old calico cat. She's a very loving and affectionate cat, although quite skittish. She's named for the pirate John Rackham - known as "Calico Jack" because he wore clothing made of calico fabric (what we Americans call muslin). Calico Jack was famous for coming up with the design for the popular Jolly Roger flag, and he is also known for having employed the famous female pirates Mary Read and Anne Bonny.

Black Beardette - a young, feisty black cat who loves to fight with the other cats. She was obviously named after Blackbeard the Pirate. Blackbeard (Edward Teach or Thatch depending on which history you are reading) was the iconic pirate. Fearless and bloodthirsty, he struck terror into the hearts of all who were unfortunate to be plundered by him and his crew.

So, there they are. Eventually, I may find more creative names for the rest of the pirate family.

Smart Camel

Pigskin-picking camel snubs Eagles because of Vick

The Associated Press

LACEY TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Philadelphia Eagles fans thirsty for predictions on whether their team will win or lose each week won't get them from a New Jersey pigskin-prognosticating camel. Princess, the star of Popcorn Park Zoo, won't predict the results of any Eagles games this season to protest the signing of quarterback Michael Vick. Vick spent 18 months in prison for organizing a dogfighting ring.

The 2,600-pound camel went 17-4 last year and correctly picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl.

The zoo's manager places a graham cracker in each hand, and writes the name of a competing team on each hand. Whichever hand Princess eats from is her "pick."

Meanwhile, a suburban Philadelphia animal welfare group, Main Line Animal Rescue, announced that it plans to donate dog food for every time Vick is tackled.

Can I just say that this article makes me really, really happy?? I love that not only will this sweet camel not pick any Eagles games because of Michael Vick, but Main Line Animal Rescue is going to donate dog food every time he's tackled?? That's wonderful!! I'm personally stunned that the NFL is even allowing him to play! I hope all the opposing teams beat the living crap out of him this year!!

People who do dog fighting have got to be one of the lowest life forms on earth! I have no tolerance for people who harm animals for the sake of making money. These horrible people have been the main issue in villainizing pit bulls. At the risk of losing a little anonymity on my blog, I feel the need to say that Pirate Wench Puppy is a pit bull. She is the sweetest and most gentle dog I've ever met. We like to say that she's our vicious little ball of love and kisses. I've also fostered a pit who was also just a sweet, gentle and loving dog. For anyone who is afraid of pits because of the reputation caused by a few horrible, evil people - don't be. Pits are loyal, loving, gentle creatures, and like any other animal, they only become dangerous when trained or forced into it. Have you hugged your pit bull today? I have! :)

I love this guy!

One of the major disadvantages of living in Montana is the lack of great restaurants like Jack in the Box.

Now, I had eaten at Jack in the Box on occasion when my ex-husband and I would travel. We regularly stayed at the Motel 6 in Idaho Falls, and the Jack in the Box was right across the parking lot. I'd had just some regular burger and fries kind of things, and I'd even had a pretty tasty breakfast sandwich and smoothie one time. Good stuff, but didn't seem very special to me.

And then I married a Californian...

Surfer Pirate had learned YEARS earlier the joys of Jack in the Box - especially during late nights. We were on vacation in Washington and we stopped to visit Jack. On his suggestion, I tried the tacos, and because I'm me, I had to try the eggrolls. (A little confession here. I am an eggroll addict. I've tried them just about everywhere I can. Most Chinese restaurants I've been to have fairly decent ones - as long as they're freshly cooked, something that doesn't always happen when you're at a buffet place. My favorite ones until now are made by a local family. They used to have a restaurant so you could buy them any day, but now they mostly just opperate out of the trailers you see at fairs and festivals. I have to keep my eyes open for them and buy them any chance I get. I have now discovered that Jack in the Box eggrolls are a VERY close second to the wonderful locally made ones.) We also had to try the terijaki bowl. Any given bite of these three menu items are just a little bit of heaven!

So, being stuck in Montana, Jack in the Box is just a distant dream. We had to take a quick over-night trip to Idaho this weekend, and one of the highlights of our trip was getting my Jack in the Box fix! Of course I had to have my three favorites. I gorged myself on their crispy, flavorful tacos, the amazing teriyaki bowl, and of course my favorite - the eggrolls. I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, but happy as can be!

Someone, oh someone please??? Open a Jack in the Box in my city! I will be your customer for life!!


I also have to pay tribute to the joy that is the Cherry Limeade at Sonic. Again, something we don't have here - although they've opened one in Great Falls and we keep hearing rumors of one opening here soon. The 44 oz Cherry Limeade was a refreshing addition to my wonderful Jack in the Box meal, and I did make sure we made a special trip to Sonic first to make sure I got that fix as well! :)

Yay for Duct Tape!!!

I'm having a bad day, so I think it's a good day for a stupid criminal story:

US judge orders defendant's mouth sealed with duct tape to silence outbursts in court

A judge unhappy with repeated interruptions from a robbery suspect ordered a deputy to put duct tape over the defendant's mouth.

(City) Municipal Court (Judge's Name) says the taping last Thursday was the best way to restore order at a hearing for 51-year-old (Stupid Criminal) of (city), The (newspaper name) reported.

(Stupid Criminal) complained that his court-appointed attorney wasn't prepared and angered the judge with interruptions. After a warning, the judge told the bailiff to tape (Stupid Criminal)'s mouth shut.

When the tape was removed, the defendant said the judge wasn't being respectful. The judge ended the hearing and sent the case to a grand jury.