It's Stupid Criminal Day!!!

First of all, I need to explain the loss of my beloved stupid criminal stories lately. Quite simply, my local paper changed their website layout. Whatever company is doing their layout now for some odd reason doesn't have access to those fun kinds of stories. I have searched high and low for another source for my criminal stories, without much luck.

Then, last week, I was looking for an obituary in the Salt Lake Tribune, and TA-DA!! On the bottom of the page, I discovered odd news stories, care of The Associated Press. So, now that I have a source again, dumb criminal stories may continue!! And now that I've credited my source, I will quit taking out the locations and other identifying information.

I have a friend who has a "Wordless Wednesday" on her blog. On that day a week, she just posts pictures. I may have to declare one day a week just for dumb criminal stories. Maybe I'll call it Stupid Criminal Saturday. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that.

Meanwhile, on with the show:

Man fleeing Ohio police jumps fence -- into prison

The Associated Press

Updated: 03/30/2010 08:15:48 AM MDT

CLEVELAND » Police say a motorist fleeing officers in Cleveland abandoned his car and jumped a fence -- landing in what turned out to be a prison yard.

Garfield Heights police say the chase started in that suburb early Monday over a traffic violation and reached speeds of 90 mph.

Police say that after a race through several communities, the driver and a passenger bolted from the car and headed for a fence.

They apparently did not realize it was on the outside the state women's prison in Cleveland.

They were arrested along with two other passengers who also tried to flee.

Oh How I Love This Man!

Spring Break has begun. Now, don't get me wrong - I love being a mom. I love Pirate Munchkin with all my heart. She is EXTREMELY bright, but that comes with it's own batch of challenges. She asks questions all. the. time. She constantly wants to know why I'm doing what I'm doing, how I'm doing it. And she especially wants to know what's going to happen next - every minute of every day. In the morning, she wants to know exactly when we're going to have lunch, and what we're going to have, and how long after that we're going to play Electronic Battleship, and then what, and then what, and then what (I think you get the picture).

Needless to say, sometimes Mom needs a break. And with Spring Break being here, and her being home (and somewhat bored) all day, Mom REALLY needs a break at the end of the day.

So, yesterday, I took that break. Pirate Dragon needed crickets (otherwise known as "Crickies" at our house), and I wanted to just go buy them alone. I wanted to go drool over puppies, talk to the parrot, and pet the sweet little Easter bunnies by myself at the pet store. It was heaven. Just some time alone to do what I wanted to do.

And then I came home.

Where I discovered that while I was gone, Pirate Surfer had spent the time with our little girl telling her all about our first date. He told her the details of the first moment he saw me, how we made dinner together, sharing our first kiss, etc. It was so sweet to hear his side of the story coming from her little mouth! I could see my little girl - all starry-eyed - dreaming of her future Prince Charming. And I love that, with his one-on-one time with her, he didn't tell her about surfing or riding dirt bikes or working on cars, he told her our sweet, romantic story. Just one more reason why I love him so much!

So, I thought I would share our story.

I have said it before that I love the internet. And here is one more reason why the internet is so dear to my heart: We met on Myspace. We lived in completely different areas of the city. We worked in completely different areas of the city, with completely different days off. We had completely different interests and completely different lives. There is absolutely no way on earth we would have met in person. But thanks to the internet, we met. Somehow, he stumbled across my profile and sent me a friend request. I was very reluctant to agree to it. First of all, he was blonde and blue eyed. I liked dark-haired, dark-eyed men. His profile had some... questionable nature on it, and lots of thrash metal music. I could tell by his pictures that he had lived a rough life. I wasn't very interested. But, I have learned in life that you really can't judge a book by it's cover, and there are all kinds of interesting people in the world. You just have to give them a chance.

So, I told him he would have to talk me into it.

He could have decided I wasn't worth the effort. If I didn't want to accept his friend request, oh well. But he didn't do that. Instead, we started sending messages back and forth. Very quickly, he had me laughing. I decided I needed to keep this guy around. Eventually, messages led to phone calls. And all of them had the same result - he always made me laugh. After a couple of weeks of this, we decided we needed to meet in person. We made plans one Friday to go out the following weekend. Then, on Saturday, we were talking - and laughing, of course - and we decided neither of us wanted to wait another week. I asked him how he was with cooking steaks. Great. I told him I had a freezer full of steak, but I was no good at cooking them (which is very true). If he would come over and cook the steaks, I would make potatoes and things to go with them.

He called me on the way to my house - needing help to find the way. Once he was less than a block from my house, I went to meet him outside. When he first saw me, he knew I was the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Thankfully, he didn't say that at the time because he would have scared me off. What he did say was "You're much prettier than your pictures." (Awww!) He was taller than I imagined, and definitely cuter than his pictures, too.

We started cooking together. He made me laugh some more. And eventually, I decided to test out his previous brag that he was a good kisser. Yep. :) He is. We spent the evening together, talking and laughing.

The next day, he told me he was done looking. He just wanted to be with me.

The day after that, the girl who swore she wouldn't date anyone exclusively until she had a diamond on her finger decided to officially just be his girlfriend. I even cancelled dates I already had set up with other guys!

Less than 2 weeks later, he let it slip on the phone that he loved me.

A few days after that, he told me we needed to talk. We were both feeling like our lives were too different, and we would never work out. We both went into the conversation expecting to break up and go our separate ways. It really surprised me when I started to cry. I just couldn't let go. Not yet. I will always remember the way he held me while I cried. I could actually FEEL the relief oozing from him - knowing that he didn't have to let me go either.

Next thing I knew, I was in love with him too.

7 months, my sister's death and his broken back later, we were married in a small ceremony in our living room.

And I get to have this cute guy make me laugh for the rest of my life. I'm so lucky!

My Favorite Season!

Spring has arrived!!!

I have always loved spring. The sights, the sounds, the smells, all of it!!

It's been a tough year, and the dreary gray days of winter have been especially hard. But I can already tell such a difference in myself now that the sun has come back!

Last year, keeping up with my yard was really difficult. And then, we got two rowdy puppies! Needless to say, my back yard is, well, trashed. They trampled my herb garden broke some fencing, chewed up everything in sight, and made the grass in some areas completely disappear. It's going to take a LOT of work to get it back, but I have such a beautiful picture in my mind of how it's going to look when it's finished.

So my project for this past week was to rake all the dead grass, leaves, droppings and random unrecognizable bits of former chew toys off the lawn. I got about 2/3 of it done so far, and today, I even managed to get it watered. I'm quite proud of myself. I even had the incentive to start a compost pile! (I'm sure my garden will thank me for that later!) This year, my vegetable garden will return in full form - I'm even going to try some vegetables I've never grown before! The herb garden will be brought back to it's previous glory. Eventually, the lush, green grass will be back (although parts of the yard may need to be reseeded with super, resilient grass seed) over the majority of the yard. And within the next couple of years, I will have a large perennial flower bed, with a new patio space between it and the vegetable garden - complete with comfy Adirondack chairs. I am going to build a wooden arbor with planting boxes to mark the entry to the veggie garden, and we'll plant some fruit trees. It's going to be a beautiful little haven back there! I will share pictures as the project moves along.

It will also help neighborhood morale since I live next door to an apartment building. The upstairs neighbors have had to deal with a less-than-inviting view over the last year. :)

Tomorrow, I get to rest from my landscape projects since we're supposed to get rain most of the day. Dare I hope for a thunderstorm? Be still my little heart!!

Get back in your box already!

It needs to be said. I hate John Mayer.

I hate his voice, I hate his song lyrics, I hate his attitude, I even hate his stupid tattoos!

His voice? Whiny, breathy, and I can't understand a stinkin word he says! I've hated him since the very first time I heard "Your Body is a Wonderland." Sounded like he was saying "your body is a wawalah." Excuse me, what?? There is a whole forum (*note: some of the links in this blog entry have language not suitable for children) that fully describes what I think of his voice. Especially the part about something being in his mouth while he sings.

His song lyrics? Come Back to Bed? Nothing like repeating one line 13 times and another line 8 times in a single song! Did you just run out of lyrics and figured that was good enough? Daughters, No Such Thing, Back To You, Edge of Desire and of course, Your Body is a Wonderland (along with many others) all have one main theme. That theme is "if I can pass myself off as sensitive and wounded, every woman in the world will want me." Yeah, not this woman, dude. The very funny comedian Mike Birgihlia does a great joke that sums up John Mayer's songs in my mind.

His attitude? This covers that pretty well. I would like to think this is one of those cases where the interview was skewed to boost readership, but there are enough cases out there of him acting this way. His recent Playboy interview and later apology for it just adds to the fun. Here is a fun discussion of his behavior.

And his tattoos? Don't get me wrong, I really like tattoos. Surfer Pirate has A LOT of them. But this? On John Mayer??? Mr. Sensitive himself?? Tattoos hurt. While many people will say they're addictive and once you have one, you want more. Okay, I can understand that. But if I were truly to believe that this guy is as sensitive as his song lyrics claim, all I can picture is him crying for his mommy the entire time. And trust me, that sleeve took HOURS. Just further adds to my feeling that the whole sensitive lyrics thing is just a scam.

My sister and I were once discussing him and how annoying he is and how I wish he would just go away. She had such a great way of phrasing things. She said "You know, he just won't stay in that box that I put him in." She WAS the Queen of Everything. She had the power!

All of that said, I do have to admit that he's a pretty talented guitar player. If he could play his guitar with duct tape over his mouth - so I don't have to hear his voice, and a paper bag over his head - so I don't have to see those bizarre faces he makes, I probably wouldn't mind him. But as it is, he can just climb back in his box and I'll just listen to Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Carlos Santana, Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top), Eddie Van Halen, Ottmar Liebert, Steve Vai, BB King, Henry Garza (Los Lonely Boys), Cliff Burton and Kirk Hammett (both of Metallica), and on and on and on and on...