New Kitten Has a Pirate Name!

After research and thought, I have settled on Captain Kitty as the name for our new pirate kitten.

He is named after Captain William Kidd, another famous pirate in history. He sailed the seas as a pirateer for England. He turned to piracy after a killing one of his crew members in a dispute. He captured one of the largest pirate treasures in history. I chose this name for our new kitten because he can quickly go from being calm and loving to attacking and biting (mostly me).

A tribute to Calico Jackia

The ex and I had been trying for a year and a half to have a baby with no luck. I was sitting in the living room watching tv, and he hadn't come home yet from work. He was over a half hour late, and I couldn't imagine why he wasn't home. Finally, I heard him come in the back door. I looked up, as he peeked his head around the doorway from the kitchen, and realized that he wasn't alone! There was another much smaller head also peeking around the doorway! It was a tiny calico kitten! He thought I would like to have a new fur-baby to take my mind off my human baby disappointments.

Within an hour in her new home, she was already nuzzling me and giving me little affectionate head-butts and purring like crazy! I have never seen a kitten warm up that fast to a new home!

When she was a baby, she had really bad earmites. Multiple trips to the vet and multiple medications did nothing to clear them up. One day, I noticed they were getting better! I couldn't figure out for the life of me why her ears were healing when all the medications hadn't done a thing. And then I caught our 120 pound German Shepherd gently holding her down with his paw while he stuck his great big tongue into her tiny little ears! He licked those nasty mites away! She was forever loyal to a dog who was more than ten times bigger than she was.

She loved her family. Sleeping on the bed with us was one of her greatest joys in life, and if a hand happened to be sticking out of the covers, it was immediately subjected to self-petting attempts! She was also madly in love with one of our male Siamese-mix kitties. She was always snuggling with him and following him around. But she also made herself a little mama to our other Siamese-mix (Old Captain Paulsgrave). She would bathe him and snuggle with him on ocassion as well.

But Jackia was a jealous girl. We had taken in a stray dog for a while who was a pug/chihuahua mix. Being a small dog, I allowed her to be on the furniture. Jackia wasn't having it! She would not share her mama's lap for anything! She declared war on the little dog! Eventually, the stray had to find another home due to other circumstances, and our little calico queen felt as if she had won the war - scaring off the obnoxious dog!

Her biggest fear in life? Strangers!! If someone visiting our home was lucky enough to get a glimpse of her, it was usually just a quick flash of orange and she raced through the house to hide! My dad stayed with us for a week at one point and only saw her once the entire time. She walked into a doorway, saw him sitting on the couch, looked at him with a "where did YOU come from?" look and then promptly ran back out! My aunt and uncle visited with their children, and I actually managed to get her to appear for my aunt and female cousin. They had to sit very quietly in my bedroom with the door closed while I coaxed her out from under her hiding spot under the dresser. She even allowed them to pet her briefly until sounds in the hallway made her nervous and she hid again. Surfer Pirate's greatest accomplishment when we were dating was the day he finally won her over and she would let him pet her and hold her. She loved him dearly after that.

When she was about 4 years old, she developed some kind of allergy that affected her ears. She would hide under the bed and scratch her ears until they bled. Again, medication did nothing to ease her suffering. The decision was made that she would have to be declawed to keep her from causing more harm to herself. Unfortunately, she couldn't be declawed while her ears were bleeding or infected. That meant she had to wear one of those big cone things around her neck. She was constantly trying to get her "lampshade" off. She would be almost healed, and then she would manage to remove it again. I would find her under the bed bleeding again. She had to wear the cone for almost 2 months going through this routine over and over! Eventually, she was finally healed enough and we were able to get her claws removed. Her ears never noticeably gave her problems after that.

When Black Beardette joined the family, Calico Jackia found herself having to battle for her position as queen of the house again. She was not only fighting with Black Beardette, but with any of the other furry creatures that got in her way of destroying her new nemesis. We have a strict rule in the family that pets who can't get along with other pets can't continue to be a part of the crew. So sadly Calico Jackia would have to go. I passed her on to one of those groups who find new ships for pirate pets who are lacking a crew. I don't know what happened to her, but I like to think that she found herself a nice family and is living out the rest of her days being spoiled and loved.

Pirate Family Remodel

We've had some major changes to our little pirate family of cats.

Calico Jackia decided she was done sharing Kitty Queendom with Black Beardette. The war was on! Battles ensued every day. The girl kitties had to be separated to keep them from flogging each other. But it was a miserable existance. The tough decision was made to find Calico Jackia a new ship. It was hard because she was a part of the crew for so long.

Months passed, and Black Beardette had a chance to sneak out of the house and get a taste of the outside world. That was it. She was hooked. She decided to break consort and find her own way in the world. When the pirate dogs were let out, she escaped and never looked back.

With Christmas coming and Pirate Munchkin doing so well in Kindergarten, we decided to get her a new cat. So, our family got a new baby. The new as-yet-un-pirate-named kitten has been a great addition to our family. He thinks I'm his own personal chew toy, but will go limp and sleepy as soon as Pirate Munchkin picks him up.

My New Love

It all started in high school.

I was pretty much a girly-girl growing up. I didn't really climb a tree until I was 13. I didn't make mudpies. Then, my sophomore year of high school, I had Coach Alberta for PE. Mr. Alberta was one of our football coaches, and he decided that we would do football in our PE class. I will love him forever for that! He split us up into regular teams for our "season" and for some reason favored the team I was on. He taught us illegal plays and made sure all the girls got the chance to be quarterback.

Because of dear Coach Alberta, I came to love football.

I had always liked going to football games. My older sister was a band geek, and I loved going to the high school games with her as she played in the marching band. But the Friday night football games were just a social situation. I went to see my friends, flirt with the boys, etc. But once I had some understanding of the game, I would sit and acually watch. In college, I never missed a home game. Superbowl Sunday is practically a national holiday!

After college, I decided that I needed to have an NFL team to regularly follow. (My dear, sweet college team who shall remain nameless will probably forever have a fairly pathetic team, so I needed to have SOME chance to root for a team doing well!) But how do you decide? I respected the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, but didn't feel much loyalty to either of them. I hated the Denver Broncos, Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers for reasons I won't get into here. Then, I got married. My (now ex-)husband's team was the Kansas City Chiefs. Not a team known for being big contenders for the Superbowl, but if I chose them, that would eliminate any family competition. I took a couple years to decide. Thanks to Coach Dick Vermeil, Priest Holmes, Dante Hall and Tony Gonzalez, the team was doing very well. My decision was made. I was a loyal Chiefs fan.

Then Coach Vermeil retired.

And then Priest Holmes got hurt.

And then Dante Hall got traded to the Rams.

And then I got a divorce.

And this past year, Tony Gonzalez went to the Falcons.

Did I really want to keep Kansas City as my team? But again, I found myself in the position of how do I pick a new team?

The first key was Tony Gonzalez. How can you not love a football player who spikes the ball over the goalpost when he makes a touchdown?? Plus, he's just a great player. And, to top it off, he and I were born on the exact same day - not just sharing a birthday, but born on the same day in the same year! Somewhere, it was also sitting in the back of my head that my sister's team had been the Falcons, but I couldn't remember for sure. And then I remembered the whole Michael Vick dog fighting fiasco. I remembered my sister saying how embarassed she was that he had played for her team. A quick internet search later, sure enough, Michael Vick was playing for the Falcons at the time. And not only that, but when he got out of jail, he tried to go back to the Falcons. They would not let him play!! SOLD!! The Atlanta Falcons are officially my new NFL team.

Was that a long enough description for you? I rarely do things the easy way. :)

A Little Vacation...

...from the blog. Not from life unfortunately. I wish I could say I've been someplace beautiful like that. But no.

Life has been very crazy and fairly rough over the last few months. My creative writing juices were completely lacking, and I've neglected my blog. But the holiday season is just about over, and things are getting back to a (somewhat) more normal routine. Very soon I will be updating on all the Pirate Family changes, and I'm even going to be starting another blog! Stay tuned...

Late Nights and Sorrow

At the risk of feeling like my heart is breaking, I realize that if I am going to be myself on this blog, there is more to address than just the fun things.

I am the mother of an angel baby.

Far too many years of trying to conceive a child in my first marriage. Then, two and a half very short months into my wonderful marriage with Surfer Pirate, the most amazing news!! We were pregnant. I was so blissfully happy I could hardly stand myself. Surfer Pirate would kiss my belly and talk to the baby every single day.

Then, at 6 short weeks, we went in for an ultrasound. We were so excited! Our first chance to see our little baby. And the worst possible news. They couldn't find the baby. Two radiologists later, ultrasound both externally and internally. Nothing. My doctor had to be called into the office. Ironically, she was attending the funeral of a tiny little baby who had died of SIDS. She tried to give me hope while still preparing me for the impending miscarriage. I researched anything on the internet that would give me hope. I actually found an entire website dedicated to the subject of women who had been misdiagnosed with miscarriage and went on to have completely healthy babies. I knew it was probably the worst thing I could be doing with myself, but I had to have hope. I couldn't sit there and just wait with my devistated, broken heart. Seven days after that horrible ultrasound appointment, the miscarriage started.

So that was it. Essentially a decade of waiting and trying to get pregnant - gone in what felt like an instant.

And I was healing. I was doing better. I've even been seriously considering being done with my counselor visits. But I could never have prepared myself for this week.

The due date would have been this upcoming Friday.

I'm a mess.

Tonight, Surfer Pirate and I had a much-needed childless night. Pirate Munchkin is off with her dad. We were just hanging out and watching movies - a miracle in and of itself - getting Surfer Pirate to sit through ONE movie is tough enough, but I actually got TWO out of him!!! 2nd movie over, smoke break for him, bathroom break for me.

I didn't hear him come back in the house. I didn't hear him switch the TV over to satellite mode. All I heard was a baby crying. Loudly. It sounded like there was a baby crying on my front porch. I was completely frozen. Then, I heard one of his favorite shows on TV. The crying baby was on TV and he had just changed the channel. I stayed in the bathroom and sobbed for what must have been about 10 minutes. When I was eventually able to tell him what had just happened to me - why his wife who had been happy and laughing just 15 minutes earlier was now a blubbering mess, I said to him "That should have been our baby." He's so good to just hold me when I'm like that.

How am I going to get through this next week?

Name Explanations

In coming up with my pirate blog world, I will admit that my original names for the people and dogs in the household were not very creative. Surfer Pirate, Pirate Munchkin, and the dogs Pirate Dog, Pirate Puppy and Pirate Wench Puppy. I'm actually a little embarrassed at how simple the names are. I had to come up with names quickly since I was doing postings about them.

However, when it came to the cats, I was able to put a little more thought into it since they weren't immediately giving me post inspirations. I'm quite proud of what I've come up with, but they must seem a little strange. I feel the need to explain them:

Old Captain Paulsgrave - the blog name of my 12 year old Siamese mix cat. A wise old cat with a long, colorful history. I named him after Paulsgrave Williams who apparently became a pirate at the ripe old age of 38 - midlife crisis, perhaps? He was a silversmith (or goldsmith from one report) who left his wife, children and job to form a partnership with Samuel Bellamy. They started out as treasure hunters, but turned to piracy in the ultimate get-rich-quick-scheme.

Calico Jackia - the blog name for my 9 year old calico cat. She's a very loving and affectionate cat, although quite skittish. She's named for the pirate John Rackham - known as "Calico Jack" because he wore clothing made of calico fabric (what we Americans call muslin). Calico Jack was famous for coming up with the design for the popular Jolly Roger flag, and he is also known for having employed the famous female pirates Mary Read and Anne Bonny.

Black Beardette - a young, feisty black cat who loves to fight with the other cats. She was obviously named after Blackbeard the Pirate. Blackbeard (Edward Teach or Thatch depending on which history you are reading) was the iconic pirate. Fearless and bloodthirsty, he struck terror into the hearts of all who were unfortunate to be plundered by him and his crew.

So, there they are. Eventually, I may find more creative names for the rest of the pirate family.

Smart Camel

Pigskin-picking camel snubs Eagles because of Vick

The Associated Press

LACEY TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Philadelphia Eagles fans thirsty for predictions on whether their team will win or lose each week won't get them from a New Jersey pigskin-prognosticating camel. Princess, the star of Popcorn Park Zoo, won't predict the results of any Eagles games this season to protest the signing of quarterback Michael Vick. Vick spent 18 months in prison for organizing a dogfighting ring.

The 2,600-pound camel went 17-4 last year and correctly picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl.

The zoo's manager places a graham cracker in each hand, and writes the name of a competing team on each hand. Whichever hand Princess eats from is her "pick."

Meanwhile, a suburban Philadelphia animal welfare group, Main Line Animal Rescue, announced that it plans to donate dog food for every time Vick is tackled.

Can I just say that this article makes me really, really happy?? I love that not only will this sweet camel not pick any Eagles games because of Michael Vick, but Main Line Animal Rescue is going to donate dog food every time he's tackled?? That's wonderful!! I'm personally stunned that the NFL is even allowing him to play! I hope all the opposing teams beat the living crap out of him this year!!

People who do dog fighting have got to be one of the lowest life forms on earth! I have no tolerance for people who harm animals for the sake of making money. These horrible people have been the main issue in villainizing pit bulls. At the risk of losing a little anonymity on my blog, I feel the need to say that Pirate Wench Puppy is a pit bull. She is the sweetest and most gentle dog I've ever met. We like to say that she's our vicious little ball of love and kisses. I've also fostered a pit who was also just a sweet, gentle and loving dog. For anyone who is afraid of pits because of the reputation caused by a few horrible, evil people - don't be. Pits are loyal, loving, gentle creatures, and like any other animal, they only become dangerous when trained or forced into it. Have you hugged your pit bull today? I have! :)

I love this guy!

One of the major disadvantages of living in Montana is the lack of great restaurants like Jack in the Box.

Now, I had eaten at Jack in the Box on occasion when my ex-husband and I would travel. We regularly stayed at the Motel 6 in Idaho Falls, and the Jack in the Box was right across the parking lot. I'd had just some regular burger and fries kind of things, and I'd even had a pretty tasty breakfast sandwich and smoothie one time. Good stuff, but didn't seem very special to me.

And then I married a Californian...

Surfer Pirate had learned YEARS earlier the joys of Jack in the Box - especially during late nights. We were on vacation in Washington and we stopped to visit Jack. On his suggestion, I tried the tacos, and because I'm me, I had to try the eggrolls. (A little confession here. I am an eggroll addict. I've tried them just about everywhere I can. Most Chinese restaurants I've been to have fairly decent ones - as long as they're freshly cooked, something that doesn't always happen when you're at a buffet place. My favorite ones until now are made by a local family. They used to have a restaurant so you could buy them any day, but now they mostly just opperate out of the trailers you see at fairs and festivals. I have to keep my eyes open for them and buy them any chance I get. I have now discovered that Jack in the Box eggrolls are a VERY close second to the wonderful locally made ones.) We also had to try the terijaki bowl. Any given bite of these three menu items are just a little bit of heaven!

So, being stuck in Montana, Jack in the Box is just a distant dream. We had to take a quick over-night trip to Idaho this weekend, and one of the highlights of our trip was getting my Jack in the Box fix! Of course I had to have my three favorites. I gorged myself on their crispy, flavorful tacos, the amazing teriyaki bowl, and of course my favorite - the eggrolls. I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, but happy as can be!

Someone, oh someone please??? Open a Jack in the Box in my city! I will be your customer for life!!


I also have to pay tribute to the joy that is the Cherry Limeade at Sonic. Again, something we don't have here - although they've opened one in Great Falls and we keep hearing rumors of one opening here soon. The 44 oz Cherry Limeade was a refreshing addition to my wonderful Jack in the Box meal, and I did make sure we made a special trip to Sonic first to make sure I got that fix as well! :)

Yay for Duct Tape!!!

I'm having a bad day, so I think it's a good day for a stupid criminal story:

US judge orders defendant's mouth sealed with duct tape to silence outbursts in court

A judge unhappy with repeated interruptions from a robbery suspect ordered a deputy to put duct tape over the defendant's mouth.

(City) Municipal Court (Judge's Name) says the taping last Thursday was the best way to restore order at a hearing for 51-year-old (Stupid Criminal) of (city), The (newspaper name) reported.

(Stupid Criminal) complained that his court-appointed attorney wasn't prepared and angered the judge with interruptions. After a warning, the judge told the bailiff to tape (Stupid Criminal)'s mouth shut.

When the tape was removed, the defendant said the judge wasn't being respectful. The judge ended the hearing and sent the case to a grand jury.

Too Tired to Care

Just one of those weeks. Too much going on, so I'm drained.

Pirate Munchkin started kindergarten this week. There were two classes, and of course we ended up with the teacher with the really long last name. Oh well, she's nice, and I think she'll be a good teacher. Munchkin is coming home with great stories about all the things she's learning. She's already made some new friends. Next week's challenge? HOT LUNCH!

Surfer Pirate may be getting a raise!!! We hope to hear about it within the next few days, but it looks pretty promising. That will make life a lot easier around here. And they'll finally be paying him what he deserves.

Meanwhile, I'm officially looking for work. I got a referral for a job with an RV company, and I'm pretty hopeful about that one. Supposedly, they're pretty flexible about hours, and I'm even thinking of looking into telecommuting with them. That way, I could work there while Pirate Munchkin is in school, and work at home the rest of the day. But considering I haven't even had an interview yet, I'm sort of jumping the gun. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

For those who haven't yet discovered the joys of Facebook, I have to put my little plug in for it. I've been on there for about a year and a half now, and the thing I have discovered is that finding long-lost friends is like Christmas!! My senior year of high school, I was going through a pretty tough time. I had two main friends who got me through it. They were my strength and kept me sane. I lost contact with both of them due to my first marriage. (The ex was very jealous, and both of these friends are male.) I had hoped to see these guys at our 10 year reunion, but no such luck. I managed to track down one of them a couple of years ago through one of his relatives, and I've enjoyed having him back in my life. But I've still had kind of a hole in my life from my other missing friend. Last week, I saw that I had a friend request on Facebook. There he was!!! I was so excited I was practically bouncing! I was stunned to find out he's been back in town for a couple of years, and acutally lives pretty close to me!!! We were able to get together and do some catching up. I'm just so thrilled to have these two great friends back in my life. Isn't the internet great?

Pirate Family Drama

I did not sleep well last night. Pirate animals of all shapes and sizes were making noise, making messes, licking, etc. to the point that I couldn't stay asleep for more than 10-20 minutes at a time. I eventually moved out to the pirate couch and ended up with a sleep mask AND earplugs! It was bad. Around 5:30 or so, I finally slept deeper, only to be awake again at 7, and 8. After the 8:00 period of crabby wakefulness, I slept pretty well until 10:30.

Anyway, what woke me at 8 was Pirate Munchkin playing in her room. Apparently she had Black Beardette (our youngest pirate cat) in the room with her because all I could hear was giggling. The giggling continued until I heard an "Ouch". Then more giggling. I figured things were fine and went back to sleep.

When I finally got up, I was faced with a very sad and sullen 5 year old. Very seriously, she said to me "Mom. I have something to tell you. Black Beardette hurt my feelings. She broke my heart and my spirit." Of course, this must be taken very seriously! When asked what happened, Pirate Munchkin told me that she didn't pick up the cat or anything! Black Beardette came up to her and scratched her on her face ALL ON HER OWN!! Pirate Munchkin got a hug and a kiss, and Black Beardette got a mild lecture on being nice.

Pirate Munchkin has been told repeatedly not not pick up Black Beardette. She's the only cat that isn't declawed, and she still has sharp little kitten claws. Pirate Munchkin loves the cat more than just about anything. She got the lovely trait (from her mother, I had the same problem as a kid) of loving animals to the point of torture. Needless to say, when Black Beardette gets picked up and she doesn't want to be, she responds with her claws. Telling Pirate Munchkin to quit picking her up doesn't seem to work, so I just let natural consequences take place. I have a feeling that's what happened this morning. And because of the giggles that followed the ouch, I feel pretty safe that Pirate Munchkin's heart and spirit are just fine! :)

My Pirate Heros!!

I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me! The geniuses who came up with International Talk Like a Pirate Day have written a new book! I cannot wait to read it!! Check out their website here.

And don't forget, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19th!

Puppy Love

It just has to be said. Pirate Puppy purrs when he gets snuggles. At first, we thought he was growling, but he doesn't show his teeth. When you get really close to him, and give him hugs and kisses, he lets out this low growl sound. Very weird.

I haven't decided on Pirate names for the other pets yet, but the dogs are Pirate Dog, Pirate Puppy, and Pirate Wench Puppy. Pirate Dog is 6 or 7, we're not sure. He was a pound rescue dog. Pirate Puppy is MY baby, and while he's only 6 months old, he now weighs over 60 pounds! And he's not done yet. We estimate he'll be around 160-180 by the time he's done! Pirate Wench Puppy is my husband's dream dog. She's 9 months old and is madly in love with her human daddy. She even sleeps between us on our bed!

Big Changes

Lately, I've discovered many long, lost friends through the power of the internet. I have found that my friends who have blogs are the ones that I feel like I've been able to catch up with the most. So, for my friends who would like to catch up with my family - as well as new friends who are just getting to know me, I'm going to give up some anonymity and make this blog out to be about my real life.

I also have learned how precious these blogs can be considering I recently lost my dear sister to cancer. Her blog is a great comfort to me as I go back and re-read her entries.

Don't get me wrong. Any weird news articles and dumb criminal stories will continue. They are some of my favorite humor afterall! And pirates continue to be a great source of entertainment for me. They will live on forever!

Anyway, so I'm in my early 30's. A newlywed of 10 months, and blissfully happy about that! My husband is a California surfer who has been transplanted far from his beautiful ocean to the land-locked state of Montana. I have a precious 5 year old daughter through my first marriage, and a very special little step-daughter. We have our own household zoo that despite our efforts to maintain a control on the amount of animals in the house, it keeps growing. Mostly because my husband and I are both fierce animal lovers, and our home just isn't complete without them. I'm sure our little furry (and non-furry) babies will be great sources of entertainment as I write this blog.

So drop anchor me hearties, and I shall summon the cabin boy and we will splice the membraine together!