Mushrooms

My yard had a lot of shrubs and trees in it when the last owners bought it. They went through a lot of work taking those out and putting in beautiful grass.

With all the rain we've had lately, it's pretty obvious where all the old plants used to be.

Mushrooms are a symptom of an underlying issue. When you have mushrooms in your lawn, it usually means there are old roots, tree stumps, etc. under your lawn that are rotting away. Mushrooms are ugly, but they are beneficial. They feed off that rotting material, breaking it down - helping the decomposition.

You can look at those mushrooms and see ugliness. Or, you can choose to see them for their good.

Very much like life.

We all have our underlying issues - those tough things we've been through in life that can rot away at us.

My parents split up when I was 6 years old. My dad has a lot off issues that have affected my life. I dated a couple of abusive guys in my younger years. My first marriage was far from happy. I went through 8 1/2 years of infertility, lost my sweet foster-baby, finally got pregnant 2 months after marrying Surfer Pirate, just to lose the baby at 7 weeks. And on top of all that, I lost my beloved only sibling and my wonderful step-father when they were much too young.

When we grieve and have sorrow, it shows. Crying causes your face to be red and puffy. Your eyes can have bags under them. Smiles are hard to come by. Your shoulders droop. A lot of times you'll choose to wear baggy, comfortable clothes rather than looking stylish. You might walk a little slower. Like mushrooms growing in a lawn, these are all signs of what lingers under the surface.

But grieving is a good thing. Tears are cleansing. If we allow ourselves to deal with the pains in our lives, we can progress past them. Sorrow is a natural part of life. People will do things that hurt us. Loved ones die. But through these experiences, we can learn how to enjoy the good things we have in life. We can cling tighter to the people who are important to us. We can have empathy for others when they grieve the things in their lives.

Our sorrows and struggles actually make us better people. Through our sorrows, we can have even better lives.

We also have to learn that it takes time. I know that it will take many years for the mushrooms in my yard to get through all those old roots and things under my lawn. When challenges come into my life, I know it will take time to get through them. Do I still mourn my sister? Of course. Do I still have problems stemming from a difficult first marriage? Absolutely. Do I still even sometimes deal with issues I have that started when I was 6 and my parents split up? Sometimes, I do.

But I choose to let those things make me a better person. I have more love in my heart for others. I value the blessings I have in my life. I take the hard things that have happened to me and learn from them.

And I know that some days, it's okay to let the mushrooms show.

A Match Made In... uh... SOMEwhere.

I have a warped sense of humor.

I'm not afraid to admit it.

And I find really random weird things in the middle of the night.

I'm especially loopy in the middle of the night. Which means funny things are THAT much funnier.

About a year ago I think, I came across a very weird collection of videos that made me laugh until I cried. They're completely warped. Periodically, I've re-watched them, and I laugh just as hard every time.

I didn't mention them to Surfer Pirate because I was just sure he would think they were dumb.

I had been watching them again a few days ago, and I made some reference to it to him. I finally showed him the video, and I was stunned when he laughed just as hard as I do to them!

I should have known.

He's warped and twisted just like me.

We're so meant to be together.


In case you want to see what I'm talking about, here it is. (I'm simplifying things by using the clip that's all four parts combined in one.)

Delayed Monday

In my attempts to try to blog more often, I'm trying to work on my daily theme idea. I've done a couple Flashback Fridays, and of course, the well-loved Stupid Criminal Saturday. This week, I was going to introduce Movie Monday, but my mom is here and we were too busy shopping and spending time together during the day to get to it. Then, Surfer Pirate and I took advantage of the free babysitting to actually GO to a movie last night! (Fast Five. We both loved it, and realized we haven't actually been to a movie together since the LAST of the Fast and Furious movies was in theaters!)

So here's the post I would have done yesterday if I'd had time. Pardon me if it seems a bit scattered, I'm not all that focused today.


First of all, I have to start by addressing B Movies. Somehow, watching them became sort of the "thing" my sister and I would do. It began with watching USA Up All Night when we were in junior high and high school. Every weekend, we would stay up late and watch horribly bad movies. The only one I remember is still a classic in my head (and is currently on my Netflix list). Hello MaryLou: Prom Night 2. It was so bad it was funny! We giggled our way through the whole thing.

Somewhere in there, we also discovered Mad Movies. These were done by a small group of people who would take old movies, rearrange the movie clips, and then do voice-overs, completely changing the story. They were hysterical! Our very favorite was the Shirley Temple version of The Little Princess. In the process of getting my ideas together for this blog post, I actually found it on Youtube! Here's Part 1 and Part 2.

And then, we definitely can't forget Mystery Science Theater 3000!! (aka: MST3K) They would take horrible old movies and watch them with you, making all the fun snarky comments that you always want to make during crazy movies. My favorite was when they would throw in clips from old 50's hygiene filmstrips. Here's a good one.

I found a meme I want to do about movies:

Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times
Gone With the Wind. I think I saw it more than 10 times within just a couple of years when I was about 11 and 12. I LOVE that movie. When I was a girl, of course, I wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara. But as and adult, I'd much rather be Melanie Hamilton.

Name a film that you've seen multiple times in the theater
I think the only one I've seen in a theater more than once was ET. For whatever reason, my sister wasn't with us when my dad took me to see it the first time. She was upset that she'd missed it, so the next week, we went again.

Name an actor who would make you more inclined to see a film
Matt Damon, Vin Diesel, Robert DeNiro, Sandra Bullock

Name an actor who would make you less likely to see a film
Will Farrell, Tom Cruise, Molly Shannon

Name a film you can and do quote from
The Transformers movies. Surfer Pirate and I love them, and quote them to each other often, and I have a friend who he and I quote them to each other whenever one of us watches them. But I also commonly quote movies. My dad is a musician, and he has this thing where he can tie a song to almost any conversation. I do the same thing with movies.

Name a film musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I've seen this movie more times than I can count, and I practically have the whole MOVIE memorized. I've even seen it live in a theater. I was actually just singing the June Bride song to Pirate Munchkin last weekend.

Name a film that you would recommend everyone see
The Red Violin. That movie just speaks to my soul, and I think a lot of people don't even know about it. It's really good.

Ever walked out of a film?
Yep. The ex loved B Movie-type horror movies, and enjoyed taking the boys to them when they became teenagers. We saw a lot of good ones, but then we went to see House of 1000 Corpses. We only got through about 15 minutes of it when I insisted that we leave. Surfer Pirate actually really likes that movie, but he knows I will never, ever, ever watch it with him. Ick ick ick.

Name a film that made you cry in the theater
There's lots of them. The last one I saw in a theater (rather than at home) that made me cry was probably Enchanted. I took Pirate Munchkin to see it when I was recently divorced, and I cried at the happy ending - thinking about finding my own prince one day. (I found him!)

Popcorn?
Yes please. But no butter! I hate that nasty greasy crap. And no added salt either. Just give me a big bag of the plain ol' theater popcorn. Mmmmmmmmm...

How often do you go to the theater (as opposed to watching movies at home)
Not too often anymore. The ex and I used to go to the movies almost every Saturday, but Surfer Pirate isn't much for sitting in a theater. I have gone without him sometimes, but it's really tricky these days with a new baby. Our little town only has a one-screen theater, but it's super cheap, so I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot more movies once Pirate Baby is a little older.

What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Fast Five last night! Surfer Pirate didn't think he'd like it since The Rock was in it, but he was really surprised. He liked it a lot. I loved it - just like I knew I would.

What's your favorite/preferred genre of film?
Depends entirely on the movie. I'll watch just about anything.

What's the first film you remember seeing in the theater?
The Empire Strikes Back. My dad took us to see it at the drive-in. I remember sitting out the window of the car reading comic books on the roof before the movie started. I think I was 6.

What film do you wish you had never seen?
I've actually just seen two in the last couple weeks that I wish I could get those hours back from my life: Friends With Money and Where the Wild Things Are. Both were horribly depressing with hateful characters. The other one was The Exorsist. There are scenes in that movie that I will never be able to get out of my head.

What's the scariest film you've seen?
There have been quite a few good scary ones, so I'll just list the most recent. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I think because it's a Swedish film, you have to pay extra attention or you'll miss what's going on from the subtitles. Since I had to pay so much attention to it, I really got into it. There were several times during it that I was just sure someone was going to sneak up behind me and grab me!

If you could be any character portrayed in a movie, who would it be?
That's a tough one. The one that comes to mind right now is Jason Bourne in the Bourne Identity movies. He's not someone you want to mess with. And I really admire that even though he's been brainwashed to be a killer, his own sweet personality comes through when he loses his memory.

Total number of films you own on DVD and video
Oh my goodness! That would take a long time to count! I know last time I counted videos, I had about 180 of them, although some have come and gone since that time. My dvd collection is even bigger! So I would guess between 400-500 between DVD, VHS, and DVD's that I burned at home a few years ago.

Last film you bought
Both Alvin and the Chipmunks movies for Pirate Munchkin's birthday

Last film you watched
Fast Five

Five films that mean a lot to you
The Red Violin
The Diary of Anne Frank (1959 version)
Hope Floats
Fools Rush In
The Enchanted Cottage

My New Favorite

I just love this picture.

Pirate Baby is starting to take a real interest in toys. It's really fun. He got this lamb from his grandma for Easter, and this is the first time he'd really played with it. I had it give him "kisses", which made him smile, then I put it in his lap and wrapped his arm around it. The lamb's nose was promptly pulled into Baby Pirate's mouth.

After holding it and gnawing on it for a minute, he looked up at me. I snapped the picture just in time.

The look on his face is so intense! It very clearly says "This is MY lamb!"

He's got quite the little attitude, doesn't he?

Babies!!!

Baby PLANTS, I mean.
Thanks to This Website for the great baby plant picture.

Please forgive me for the very picture-loaded posting today. I'm just so excited that spring is finally here and I've got little bits of new life growing all over my yard! I thought I would share what's going on in my little piece of the world.

Part of the fun of moving into a new house is discovering what interesting treasures the previous owners planted.


First, the front yard:

I was thrilled to see I have peonies! Two of the three peony plants my grandmother had planted in my old yard 40+ years ago had died, and I couldn't bring the remaining plant with me when we moved. It was very sad. But now I have more!


I have no idea what either of these two plants are, so it will be interesting to see what they do when they get older.


Another clump of the plant on the right in the last picture. I love the tiny little leaves on these!



Nothing like baby lilac buds against a blue sky!


And now the back yard:

Irises. I can't wait to see what colors are hiding in this soil.


These are lilies, I think. I was told I could expect lilies in this yard, but I'm not sure what kind these are.


One of the first things I've got blooming in the yard. This picture doesn't do justice to the color of these flowers. I only noticed one of these little plants, so I don't think I'll have more.


I believe those are ferns on the left. The plant on the bottom in the middle is all over in my flower bed. I have tons of them! I know they flower, but I'm not sure what these are.


Violas. Smaller than pansies. I have a bunch of these in all kinds of different colors.


Rhubarb! Glorious, wonderful rhubarb! Another plant I had back in Montana that I was sad to have to leave behind. I was quite excited to see this one in the yard last summer!


A few more colors. I just love their happy little faces.

After taking the last picture, I decided I needed to do something about all the dead stuff (and doggy poo) in my flower bed. I grabbed the rake and did some cleaning before taking more pictures. My sweet elderly neighbor decided to come help me. She cut back the bigger stalks with her clippers and dug up my dandelions for me. Very nice of her!


More lilies and a less healthy version of the mystery flowering plant all through the bed.


My favorite plant in the whole yard!! Bleeding Hearts!! I have tried to grow these for YEARS!! I was blissfully happy to learn that there was an established plant in my yard! I plan on leaving it alone and not letting it find out that I've killed multiples of it's cousins. If you look really close on the top left bunch of leaves, you'll see it's even got little tiny flower buds on it. I can't wait to see it in full bloom!!!


Hollyhocks. I have lots of these along the back fence. I'm looking forward to seeing what colors these will be. This is one of the plants my neighbor was nice enough to cut the dead stalks off for me.


At the very top of this picture, I've got two good spicy chives growing. The other main plants in this picture I feel really bad that I'm not sure what they are. I know I should know these. And notice all the other little violas scattered around.

I'm actually fairly disgusted with myself that I don't know what a lot of these are. A lot of them were in bloom when we moved in to the house, but my memory was so bad during my pregnancy that I really don't remember. Add to that, I was a horticulture major in college. But my focus was on house plants, not garden plants. If I haven't personally grown them (or tried to grow them), I don't know what they are.

Hey, and look who else is growing!

Saturday Survey

Anyone want to buy me this car? It's for sale right now on ebay.

I'm not finding any stupid criminal stories I like today, so instead, I popped over to The Daily Meme to look for some inspiration. So today, the subject will be classic cars:


1. What's the oldest car you've ever driven? A 1966 Mustang owned by a guy I dated briefly in high school. The driver's seat was extremely uncomfortable. Other than that, it was a very cool car. (I even helped him change out its carpeting one very cold day.) It was a faded tomato red, but he was in the process of renovating it. Eventually, he had it painted a metallic raspberry red. Very pretty, but it wasn't worth dating him again to get to drive it after it was fixed up.

2. What's the oldest car you've ever driven that you actually owned yourself? My 1981 Chevy Blazer. It was my first car, and I loved it with all my heart. My ex-husband talked me into selling it after the engine blew. The mechanic who was working on it bought it and I cried when I saw it in a parking lot a year later. I always swore if I ever had the money to get another one, I would do it in a heartbeat. I got my chance right after Surfer Pirate and I got married. We found a 1987 Blazer for sale that was almost the exact same color (quite a feat since my old one I had custom painted). As soon as we got it home, I hugged it. My "new" one also has an intimidating, big beefy grill on the front. I love it!

3. What old-fashioned car would you most like to go for a ride in? I always wanted to ride in a Ford Model T. I have also always wanted to ride in a rumble seat, maybe in a Ford Model A or maybe a 1930's Plymouth.

4. What type of vehicle would you most enjoy touring a city in: a rickshaw, a horse-drawn carriage, a sedan, a convertible, or a limousine? I horse drawn carriage would probably be my first choice, but they all sound fun.

5. What decade do you think created the most beautiful cars? That's a really tough question. From the invention of cars, there have been so many beauties! I pretty much love every decade of cars up until the 80's. I would have to say I have three favorites, the 30's, 50's and 60's.

6. What decade do you think created the least beautiful cars? The 80's, hands down. Blech.

Flashback Friday

I had an uncle who was a fireman. How cool is that?? We took a family trip to Salt Lake, and while we were there, we visited Uncle Paul's firehouse. Doesn't my sister look proud with that big helmet? I love my mom's long denim skirt (at least I'm guessing it's denim). I know that I screamed and cried when they turned the siren on.

And not only is today Friday, but it's Friday the 13th!

That always makes me happy. I've never been a superstitious person, but I LOVE watching people who are! It's a great source of entertainment. (Only I didn't get to do any real scared-people people watching today because I have a cold and it was yucky outside today.)

The other thing about Friday the 13th is that it always reminds me of my sister. I think she was a junior in high school and I was in 8th grade when we decided we wanted to have a party one October. Mom okayed it, and we chose Friday the 13th because... well... why not?? We kept the two different age groups apart by having one group upstairs in the living room and the other group downstairs in our very cool family room. To make it all fair, we switched halfway through the night. In the family room, we had music for dancing and a pool table. In the living room, we had... I don't remember. Except I do remember my group went outside and ran around in the cold for I have no idea what reason. But it was fun!

So there ya go. TWO flashbacks for this Friday.

You should feel special.

A Very Mooooving Story

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

Why did the cow cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck?
Milk and Quackers.

Just a few old cow jokes to get you in the moooood for this week's Stupid Criminal story:

*Not a picture of this week's stupid criminal. Just and idea of what he may have looked like*

Stafford investigates udderly shocking shoplifting

STAFFORD, Va. --

Walmart shoppers in Stafford County saw the sight of their lives Tuesday night—a cow, on all fours, trying to score gallons of milk.

An 18-year-old man dressed up in a cow suit stole 26 gallons of milk around 10:35 p.m. from the Garrisonville Walmart, Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy said.

The man was apparently crawling while he exited the store, trying to emulate cattle, Kennedy said.

Soon afterward, witnesses told Stafford sheriff's deputies that the man was handing out the pilfered milk jugs to passersby outside of the Walmart, Kennedy said.

It was unclear Wednesday how he managed to get all of that milk out of the busy store on Garrisonville Road.

Kennedy said that store employees saw the thief “skipping down the sidewalk” in the cow suit before leaving the immediate area.

Stafford County sheriffs said they went to a nearby McDonald’s restaurant for a disturbance call, and the responding officer saw a man — not in a cow suit — there that seemed to match the culprit.

The suspect was taken back to the Walmart, and management confirmed he was the thief of the pasteurized potion.

The cow suit was found in the man’s car, Kennedy said.

Kennedy did not identify the suspect, who was released on a summons to appear in court.

Kennedy admitted the theft was bizarre.

“This is probably one of the most unique efforts of shoplifting I’ve seen,” Kennedy said. “It might’ve been a prank that went wrong, but it isn’t as funny when [the suspect] breaks the law.”

Kennedy said the sheriff's office didn't have surveillance video of the theft, but said it would have been interesting to see.

It's a Tie

Presents are always a good thing. They're especially good when they make you giggle like a three year old the second you open them.

The UPS guy came to my door today.

He brought me my Mother's Day present from my mom. I opened the package and immediately started giggling.


We'll get to what it was in a minute.


Many years ago, I received another present that made me giggle like that. Up until today, it was the greatest present ever.

The one today tied it.

I'm pretty sure I've already told the story of the previous greatest gift, but I'm too lazy to look for it right now. I'm just going to tell it again:


It was springtime. Pirate Munchkin's birthday was coming up. A gift arrived in the mail from my sister. I opened the plain brown mailing box expecting to see a birthday present from the doting aunt. Sure enough, inside the brown box was a pretty green package with a pretty polka dotted ribbon around it. But I noticed something unexpected tucked under the bow. It was a card that said "Why would your sister be sending you a present?" I was stunned! It was for me! A Just Because present!! So I opened the card, and on the front were two cartoon women wearing tiaras. Inside, in my sister's writing it said "because you needed it." I unwrapped it, and inside was my very own tiara! It was very exciting. And it made me giggle like I was a little girl.

(For the record, my sister also had a tiara. Hers had the word "bitch" spelled out very subtly in rhinestones.)

I like to wear mine when I do the laundry. Isn't it pretty?



So now to today's present.

It's pretty obvious from my blog that I like pirates.

I REALLY like pirates.

To the point of obsession.

Anything that can bring a more pirate world into my life makes me blissfully happy.

I even have a huge Jolly Roger flag that hangs on the wall in my bedroom.

It has blood red eyes. Most people would find that extremely creepy.

Especially since it faces the bed. Staring at us in our sleep.

Not me. Makes me insanely happy.

So here's what my Mom sent me for Mother's Day:

It's a PIRATE DICTIONARY!!! Words and phrases from movies, literature, and real pirate history.

470 beautiful pages of ways to talk like a pirate!! I'm in heaven!

My favorite section is the Threats.

Here are some lovely examples:


I'll slit the veins of your arms and use your blood to warm me rum.

I'll filet you like a herring.

I'll carve your gizzard and fry it for me supper.

I'll blow you clear off the sea.


Expect to see more colorful pirate language woven into more of my entries now that I have this treasure at my disposal.

Thanks Mom!!!