People with too much money

A pilot who landed his four-seat airplane on an [state] golf course so his 14-year-old son wouldn't be late for a tennis lesson has been sentenced to 18 months of court supervision.

[place where people with too much money live] resident [man with too much money] pleaded guilty Wednesday to criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. [p.w.p.w.t.m.m.l. judge's name] also ordered the 66-year-old to pay a $500 fine and perform 60 hours of community service.

No one was injured in March 2008 when [m.w.t.m.m.] landed on a golf course in [p.w.p.w.t.m.m.l.]without permission. Police stopped [m.w.t.m.m.] and his son as they were walking to a nearby tennis club.

[judge] told [m.w.t.m.m.] to stay away from the golf course. [m.w.t.m.m.] is still subject to any action by the Federal Aviation Administration.

Okay, SERIOUSLY???? I already have a bit of a prejudice against golf courses and their members due to something that happened with my family years ago, but that's a whole other story. I realize that not everyone who are members of golf courses are spoiled rotten, but this is one of those cases of the people I can't stand. Your poor precious little boy is going to be late for his golf lesson?? Oh, that's horrible! CERTAINLY, you may take matters into your own hands by flying your precious son to his lesson in your modest little plane. Does this guy have a landing strip in his back yard as well? Otherwise, he probably had to drive to whatever little airport where he stores his plane, and in that case, couldn't he have just driven to the golf course like a normal human being? And what does he plan to do if his son is late for school? Land a helicopter on the roof of the school?? Probably.

Some people should just not be allowed to have money. They should just give it to me.

Be afraid! Be VERY afraid!

NORTH EAST, Pa. (AP) -- Police in northwestern Pennsylvania say a burglar took some jellybeans from a home - but nothing else. Police said Thursday that they are stumped by the burglary in North East Township. Sgt. Mark Zaleski said it remains unclear whether the suspect wanted only jellybeans. Or maybe that's all the thief had time to grab.

Police said the burglar broke a front door window Friday night and took the jellybeans from a dining room table. The homeowner reported that nothing else was missing or even moved.

I see a potential sling of serial burglaries. The Sweet Tooth Bandit. He breaks into your home and steals your tasty snacks! Everyone lock up your valuable candies, cakes and cookies!!! NO ONE IS SAFE!!!

Um... dear? Is there anything you need to tell me?

Okay, so I know this story has been on MANY other posts, but it's just so darn funny I can't help myself. It fits in so well with my stupid news stuff.

I especially like how the neighbor's wife consents to this whole thing even though she KNOWS that her husband is sterile! I like the simplicity of how they put it in the article "When his own wife objected". I can just picture that conversation.

Guess what honey?

What?

You know our neighbor and his hot wife? Turns out that he's sterile, and he figures since our kids turned out so cute, he wants to pay me $2500 to impregnate his wife! Isn't that GREAT???

Um... honey... I don't think that's a very good idea... the kids... um... they're.. not... um... you're not... um...

"I don't like this any more than you. I'm simply doing it for the money. Try and understand."


So, eventually, she consented. Do you think she was planning on using some of the money to buy some sexy outfit to wear for the REAL father of their children?

One Heck of a Boob Job

A [Foreign Country] man accused of using veterinary equipment to perform cosmetic surgery is in the doghouse. [Foreign Name] regional police said they arrested the 63-year-old [Foreign City] native for allegedly practicing medicine without a license in filthy conditions at his home.

The police said in a statement released Wednesday that the man charged his human patients between euro250 and euro500 ($330 to $660) to perform breast or buttocks implants and used a veterinary tool normally used to inject animals.

The police statement said the bogus doctor worked in the company of his three dogs, a cat and a parrot.

Police arrested the man Friday after authorities received a complaint about a shoddy breast implant.

Not to imply that this particular doctor did the lovely surgeries in the picture above, but wouldn't that be scary if he did? I'm not sure which is worse, the story or the picture! Yikes!!

That just reminds me of a comment made by a co-worker once. One of our other co-workers was planning a trip to the beach, and we were teasing him about being careful about girls with a boob-job. Co-Worker #2 asked Co-Worker #1 how to tell if they're real or not. C1's comment was "If she lays down on the beach, and her boobs don't, they're fake." We all had a good laugh over that one!

Stupid People are funny

Okay, so I have no idea what this blog is going to be about. I actually just signed up for it so I can post comments on someone else's blog. But I love stupid criminal stories and have this strange urge to share them with the world, so here's a good one that I read recently. I don't want to have someone mad at me for using real names and locations, so I'm removing those to protect the not-so-innocent (even though you can get the un-edited version on the web):

A 28-year-old man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool, [state] authorities said.

Police in [small town], 30 miles east of [random city], say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

Police released the 911 tapes, revealing the calm exchange between the driver's friend and the dispatcher.

"I got a friend who wrecked a bar stool," the caller said.

When asked by the dispatcher whether he hit his head inside the bar, the friend replied, "Um, no, he was riding the bar stool ... a motorized bar stool."

[Interesting drunk, to be further known as I.D.], the bar-stool rider, was hospitalized for minor injuries.

During an interview after his crash, [I.D.] told the reporter, "I drank quite a bit after I wrecked."

Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers.

[I.D.] told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

[I.D.] has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

Now, I certainly have a lot of friends who drink - although thankfully, most of them know better than to get behind the wheel when they do. Around here, it's not unheard of to find out that someone has been caught driving drunk on a tractor. But you have to appreciate the concept of driving home drunk on the very type of furniture you were on when you became drunk in the first place. I wonder what the mind-set was when the motorized barstool was being built. If nothing else, he would certainly have to be an intersting person to get to know. Just saying...