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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Stupid People are funny

Okay, so I have no idea what this blog is going to be about. I actually just signed up for it so I can post comments on someone else's blog. But I love stupid criminal stories and have this strange urge to share them with the world, so here's a good one that I read recently. I don't want to have someone mad at me for using real names and locations, so I'm removing those to protect the not-so-innocent (even though you can get the un-edited version on the web):

A 28-year-old man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool, [state] authorities said.
Police in [small town], 30 miles east of [random city], say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
Police released the 911 tapes, revealing the calm exchange between the driver's friend and the dispatcher.

"I got a friend who wrecked a bar stool," the caller said.
When asked by the dispatcher whether he hit his head inside the bar, the friend replied, "Um, no, he was riding the bar stool ... a motorized bar stool."
[Interesting drunk, to be further known as I.D.], the bar-stool rider, was hospitalized for minor injuries.

During an interview after his crash, [I.D.] told the reporter, "I drank quite a bit after I wrecked."
Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers.
[I.D.] told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.
[I.D.] has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

Now, I certainly have a lot of friends who drink - although thankfully, most of them know better than to get behind the wheel when they do. Around here, it's not unheard of to find out that someone has been caught driving drunk on a tractor. But you have to appreciate the concept of driving home drunk on the very type of furniture you were on when you became drunk in the first place. I wonder what the mind-set was when the motorized barstool was being built. If nothing else, he would certainly have to be an intersting person to get to know. Just saying...