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Friday, September 17, 2010

I want one.

Completely unrealistic for my lifestyle. I have a 6 year old and a baby on the way. I live in Small Farm Town, North Dakota. I've never driven faster than maybe 90 (on a nice flat, empty stretch of road back when Montana had the Reasonable and Prudent Speed Limit Law - loved that law!)

But I love this car.

It's the 2011 Audi R8.

I first saw it on Top Gear a couple years ago. My brother in law (and new daddy as of last night!) and I took to watching Top Gear all night long in the days after my sister's death.

It's so beautiful.

Every time I see it in a movie (I've never seen it in real life and will be stunned if I ever do), I drool over it. I want one. I really do.

A brand new one costs $156,000.

Yeah, I don't have that.

But I can dream, right?

Sunday, September 5, 2010


I have so many things to say about the changes in our lives. I feel like I should go on and on about our new state, new town, new house. But the fact is, there is something so much more fantastic in my life right now, and I really just want to talk about it.

I've wanted this for 34 years. I remember as a little girl putting pillows and teddy bears under my shirt to pretend I was pregnant. I would hold my baby dolls against me as if I was nursing them. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, along with the dreams of teacher, fashion designer and interior designer, I also added that I wanted to be a Mom.

From start to finish, I've basically been actively trying to have a child of my own for 11 years. I love Pirate Munchkin intensely, but there's always been a little hole in my heart that she didn't grow in my own womb. When I was a foster mom to a beautiful little baby, I resented every bottle I had to give her. I wanted so dearly to be able to nourish her with my own body.

And here it is. My dream is finally coming true. There is a tiny little person growing inside of me. I've waited anxiously for the time that I'm finally showing and feeling movement in there. The first few months were a little bit of torture because I really wanted to get to the point that I'm just starting to feel. I had the joy of knowing there were changes going on. The morning sickness and mood swings and exhaustion were signs of the wonderful future.

But this.

This is what I've been waiting for.

Look at that belly!! Isn't it beautiful?

I've only felt gentle little flutters once. But don't get me wrong, this baby has definitely been moving. It likes to push! I get fairly regular little shoves and stretches. Yesterday, it was even fully stretched diagonally across my belly - from the top left to the bottom right. I hadn't even realized my uterus was that big yet. Then, I got what I can only guess was a foot all the way up. This is going to get really interesting when this child is able to get all the way up to my ribs. My mom has a friend who's baby actually dislocated her ribs from kicking so hard!

As I'm in the middle of it, and finally getting an idea of what this whole thing is like, I'm stunned by how very odd it is. My whole body isn't mine anymore. It's one thing to have your stomach grumble. When that happens, you know that you need to eat something or maybe you've eaten something you shouldn't. But I'm starting to get to the point where there are movements going on inside me that I have absolutely no control over. And the crazy thing is I look forward to it! I can't wait until I'm feeling more and more of these little movements. I can't wait until I can actually see the movements, and the baby is reacting and kicking to the voices of our other family members.

Stay tuned for further belly excitement adventures. :)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Not Fair At All

For the record, I love our new little town. It's a great place full of warm, friendly people.

Unfortunately, they're misled.

We got our stuff up here, found a house we want to live in forever, moved into it and were getting fully settled into our new life.

And then I got a knock on my front door.

No one uses the front door here. This is the kind of community where only strangers and solicitors use the front door. So, when someone knocked on my front door, I knew it wasn't something I wanted to deal with.

I was right.

It was a sheriff's deputy.

Turns out, pit bulls are illegal in our little town! We were going to have to get rid of our sweet Pirate Wench Puppy! If we had known this before we moved here, we would have looked for a home outside city limits. And we did make an effort to find out before we moved - and couldn't find anything. I sobbed in front of the deputy - thankfully, I can blame pregnancy hormones for not being in better control of myself.

I called my mom because I always call my mom when I'm upset about things. She suggested that I call my dad and see if he would be willing to take our dog. Our sweet girl has issues with a lot of people. The guy we bought her from was obviously planning on training her to be mean - the kind of pit bull you read about in the paper. So she has a hard time trusting people - especially men. But she has adored my dad from the first time she met him. He's just got a way with animals - they know he has a very gentle spirit. So I was completely relieved when my dad agreed to take our little girl - in fact, he was so upset himself about the circumstances that I could hear him choking up over the phone.

Our recent trip to Montana was a very painful one because it meant we had to say goodbye to this sweet girl.

Dad calls me a couple times a week to fill me in on what's going on with her.

Meanwhile, this isn't over. We're going to fight to get our girl back! Communities all over the country are discovering that Breed Specific Laws don't work. The criminals just switch to a different dog breed. In fact, there are 25 different breeds of dogs that LOOK like pits, but they don't qualify. And just as the majority of pit bulls are sweet, gentle dogs, there are plenty of different dogs that are dangerous dogs. A Dangerous Dog law makes more sense - it deals with dogs on an individual basis. I could see getting rid of our girl if she had bitten someone, but she hasn't. She's barked at people, sure. The move was hard on her. And just as we were getting her used to her new home and territory, we had to change everything for her all over again.

It's not fair for her that she had to be taken away from her loving family. She doesn't understand why she had to be taken away from us. And it's not fair for us to have to lose a perfectly sweet dog.

Hopefully, it won't take too long to get it turned around. It's going to take a lot of knowledge, and lot of information, and a lot of work. But I'm not stopping until this law is changed. There are other pit bulls in this town. Why they haven't been told (yet) that they have to get rid of their dogs, I'm not sure. But I don't want to see another family have to lose their beloved pets just because of a pointless law.