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Saturday, May 7, 2011

A Very Mooooving Story

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

Why did the cow cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck?
Milk and Quackers.

Just a few old cow jokes to get you in the moooood for this week's Stupid Criminal story:

*Not a picture of this week's stupid criminal. Just and idea of what he may have looked like*

Stafford investigates udderly shocking shoplifting

Walmart shoppers in Stafford County saw the sight of their lives Tuesday night—a cow, on all fours, trying to score gallons of milk.

An 18-year-old man dressed up in a cow suit stole 26 gallons of milk around 10:35 p.m. from the Garrisonville Walmart, Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy said.

The man was apparently crawling while he exited the store, trying to emulate cattle, Kennedy said.

Soon afterward, witnesses told Stafford sheriff's deputies that the man was handing out the pilfered milk jugs to passersby outside of the Walmart, Kennedy said.

It was unclear Wednesday how he managed to get all of that milk out of the busy store on Garrisonville Road.

Kennedy said that store employees saw the thief “skipping down the sidewalk” in the cow suit before leaving the immediate area.

Stafford County sheriffs said they went to a nearby McDonald’s restaurant for a disturbance call, and the responding officer saw a man — not in a cow suit — there that seemed to match the culprit.

The suspect was taken back to the Walmart, and management confirmed he was the thief of the pasteurized potion.

The cow suit was found in the man’s car, Kennedy said.

Kennedy did not identify the suspect, who was released on a summons to appear in court.

Kennedy admitted the theft was bizarre.

“This is probably one of the most unique efforts of shoplifting I’ve seen,” Kennedy said. “It might’ve been a prank that went wrong, but it isn’t as funny when [the suspect] breaks the law.”

Kennedy said the sheriff's office didn't have surveillance video of the theft, but said it would have been interesting to see.


B. said...

The scariest part of this whole story is not even the story, it's that creepy picture you found of the guy in the cow suit. I hope they paid him a LOT to pose like that. :-D

MTGrace said...

He DOES look just a little too happy to be dressed as a cow.