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Saturday, February 6, 2010

Difficult Day

I don't want this blog to be a downer. It should be fun and uplifting - full of great stories and humor. But some days, I'm just not feeling it.

Life was always pretty even-keeled for me. That is, up until 2 1/2 years ago. From the summer of 2007 until now, I've been inundated with hard, stressful situations. First a divorce, the death of my beloved sister, Surfer Pirate being out of work for 2 months with a back injury, several pets had to be put to sleep or removed from the family, job stresses, no-job stresses... I do my best to stay positive, but some days, it gets the best of me. This is one of those days.

The biggest concern is for a dearly loved parent who is having major health problems - we don't know right now if he's going to be able to pull through. It's hard on the whole family (except Pirate Munchkin who we're sheltering from most of it for now). It's heartbreaking to watch and worry, and especially knowing we're so far away and can't be there to help or at least be there for support and a shoulder to cry on.

And then there's the baby situation. Yesterday was a joyful day for two wonderful families. The first would be the birth of my beautiful little niece. Surfer Pirate and I got to go up to the hospital to see her last night. I just have to say, she's one of the prettiest babies I've ever seen! She arrived safely in the early morning hours at 7 pounds, 14 onces and 20 inches long. Her father's ears and nose, her mother's facial features, and TONS of hair! She's got a cute little double chin, and just enough pudge on her cheeks to make you wonder "Was she really just born today??" The second baby joy yesterday belongs to our dear friend. Her precious little girl was born via C-section last night after a long, non-productive day of labor. She was also 20 inches long, but a much more petite 6 pounds, 6 ounces. We haven't seen her yet, so I can't gush about how cute she is. Her mommy was super-excited for us last year when we announced our pregnancy, and almost as disappointed as we were over the loss, so I feel especially close to her and excited about her baby.

Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled for them! I already love and adore these little angels. But it just reminds me that I don't have a baby yet. I can't help but feel like I've been robbed a little. The timing really stinks - Tuesday marks a year after the loss of our baby. And after a year, I'm not pregnant. It's just hard.

But I'm hopeful for the spring - maybe the new life of flowers and trees will mark new life to our little family.

Meanwhile, tomorrow is the Super Bowl. That means my special Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches, Lil' Smokies with special sauce and Buffalo Wings. And of course, football and funny commercials. I love Super Bowl Sunday!!