Live and Learn

Once upon a time, I had a nice, big, overstuffed couch. Here it is back in better days in my old living room. (Man, that room looks HUGE now compared to my little 1903 sized rooms!) I got it used, paid $50 for it. It was the best couch. Soft and comfy, long, the perfect couch to stretch out and take a nap on.

I loved it.

But then I got this adorable little guy:
Look at that face! Doesn't that make you just want to snuggle and pet him and give him widdle kisses and wuvins and...

ahem.

Excuse me.

Anyway, in the process of bonding with him, I didn't see anything wrong with letting him hang out with me on the couch.

And then we got another puppy. She got the same treatment.

But then they took hanging out on the couch with us as permission to be on the couch ALL DAY LONG.

Laying on the couch turned to wrestling on the couch. Because that's what puppies do with each other - they play and wrestle.

After a while, my couch started to look like this:

See how shredded the upholstery is there?

It was also covered in fur, and no amount of vacuuming would fix that.

And it smelled like stinky feet.



Yeah.


Definitely the kind of place I want to have guests. Blech.

So the time came to accept the fact that the old couch had to go. We played around with the option of buying a new couch, but we're not quite ready to shell out that kind of money on furniture right now - especially since we have a very old fridge that "pees".

(Really makes you want to come hang out at my house, doesn't it? I know. But seriously, the rest of my house is really quite nice.)

But it turned out part of our surrogate family had a couch they wanted to get rid of. I have no problem with used. Like I said, my wonderful old couch was also a used couch.

In order to bring in the new couch, obviously, the old one had to move out. Last night, Surfer Pirate and I were supposed to move it. But he was exhausted from an especially trying day.

Never one to back down from a challenge, I told Surfer Pirate that if he would take the front door off the hinges, I would figure out how to get the couch out of the house on my own.

Did I mention this thing is 7 feet long?

So one person + big monster couch + doorways made in 1903 = not happening.

I thought to myself "If it weren't for the big backrest on this thing, it would work just fine.

And it's going to be burned out on the farm anyway."




So I got my hammer.


I started by prying off the upholstery from the back. Then I went after the upholstery on the backrest.

Peeled that all off to get to the inner framework, and started pounding out all the wood that held the back of the couch together.

No problem getting the thing out the door now!

Once I got it out the door, I gave it one good FLIP off the front porch:

*Notice only two of the feet have been removed. That's because the screws that held the other two feet on were completely stripped.

And there it lies in it's saddened state. It was a good couch.

But this is what happens to couches in my family when they make me mad.

Let that be a lesson with all other couches! Do NOT mess with me! I WILL find a way to move you!



It is also a lesson to me:

No more dogs allowed on the furniture.